/\ I have a living child, multiple first and second trimester losses, and many failed embryo transfers. None of those are equivalent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just want to chime in as someone who happily donated anonymously. I seldom come back to this board, but when I do, I feel like this sentiment could use some amplification. To be able to help a family struggling with infertility, and knowing that if all went well they could have babies as beautiful as those we'd had, still fills me with a huge feeling of warmth. I hope those embryos took!

So you have no contact at all with the family? See part of me would want that but the other part feels like it would be hard to let go of any knowledge of that embryo.

I’m not sure how you would have a hard time letting go of knowing you may have helped a family make a baby that shares your genetics, but no problem letting go of knowing as a fact that you destroyed your genetic offspring. Can usually see most sides of an issue but truly don’t understand that one.

Chill, troll. Those of us that have been through IVF know that embryo ≠ baby. Wish that was the case, but almost all of us have been through failed transfers and/or miscarriages. If that were the case, I'd have 9 kids instead of 1 right now. If you felt that strongly that embryos were the same as living children, I highly doubt you'd have done full stims IVF.

I had a stillbirth and can promise you that, regardless of your baby making it through - dying in the womb or at 80 - they’re still your child. Sorry you don’t value your kids’ lives.

So you don’t know the difference between an embryo and a fetus?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just want to chime in as someone who happily donated anonymously. I seldom come back to this board, but when I do, I feel like this sentiment could use some amplification. To be able to help a family struggling with infertility, and knowing that if all went well they could have babies as beautiful as those we'd had, still fills me with a huge feeling of warmth. I hope those embryos took!

So you have no contact at all with the family? See part of me would want that but the other part feels like it would be hard to let go of any knowledge of that embryo.

I’m not sure how you would have a hard time letting go of knowing you may have helped a family make a baby that shares your genetics, but no problem letting go of knowing as a fact that you destroyed your genetic offspring. Can usually see most sides of an issue but truly don’t understand that one.

Chill, troll. Those of us that have been through IVF know that embryo ≠ baby. Wish that was the case, but almost all of us have been through failed transfers and/or miscarriages. If that were the case, I'd have 9 kids instead of 1 right now. If you felt that strongly that embryos were the same as living children, I highly doubt you'd have done full stims IVF.

I had a stillbirth and can promise you that, regardless of your baby making it through - dying in the womb or at 80 - they’re still your child. Sorry you don’t value your kids’ lives.

I am paying my storage fees monthly on autopay. We recently had our first child through IVF and are considering whether to have a second with the frozen embryos. We are older parents so we wonder about how long we will live and whether we will see them through the crucial moments of their lives. We will likely donate if anyone would take them. After trying for so many years, my thoughts have evolved. I used to think that having our own biological children was important. After considering donor eggs and knowing someone who used donor eggs, I have started to believe in the adage that the people who love and raise you are your family regardless of genetics. In the darkest moments of my infertility journey and when I was contemplating my options, I imagined a scenario. If someone knocked on my door and handed me a baby, that baby would be mine, even if I was not genetically related or had not birthed her/him. Likewise, any children born from those embryos would not be mine because I did not raise them. Parenting them for 18 years and beyond is what makes a parent and a family.

Anonymous wrote:These children will be able to find out who their biological parents and siblings are someday. Do you want them to think they were not good enough to be kept by you and DH? What if they need a transplant from one of their biological siblings?

Why would they think that as opposed to knowing that their genetic parents cared enough to find then a good home and give them life. I promised all my embryos that if they were viable (aka not aneuploid) I would give them a chance at life and researched processes for embryo donation prior to doing IVF. That for me is the ethical thing to do although I respect that others make different choices. Of course I hope they are mentally healthy and would feel sad if they are not and have distorted thinking such as your example. Nothing in the embryo selection process has anything to do about being good enough.

Anonymous wrote:I’d destroy them before a new government decides that these embryos are people and makes it illegal.

+1

The current trends in reproductive rights are enough to make me get off the fence regarding what to do with my one remaining embryo. I can't donate it because it's a mosaic, and also most people are looking for a set of donor embryos, not just one.