Anonymous wrote:Don’t feel bad (same here ) I got nothing
Last year from my grown children and this year, my husband felt kind of guilty so he bought me a half ass plant and card from the
125 store so trust me I know it hurts

I’m sympathetic to people who get ignored but you’re an entitled azz. A card from the discount store is just as good as any other. Frankly I think people who spend more on a card are idiots. Were you expecting diamonds?

I’m so confused about what you expect for Mother’s Day. A GD shrine? A monument erected in your honor? For kids to have the forethought to give you a card is so sweet. It’s truly the thought, especially at that age that counts.

You got cards, pictures, and a call. Mother’s Day was recognized. Your kids did a great job. They are old enough to recognize you on Mother’s Day, so DH does not need to facilitate that. What do you want, diamonds? You are not his mother. Your kids recognize you.

My dh is like this.
I truly don’t get how any human can be this dumb. Like - if you can buy yourself a water from a store you can buy your wife flowers on Mother’s Day. It’s not hard - that’s what makes it so sad for moms

Mother's day...another manufactured holiday. Yawn.

Anonymous wrote:So, none of you get anything from your husband for Mother's Day? Seriously nothing?

Do you get nothing for your husband for Father's Day? I usually get a card and something small for my husband. And vice versa for me.

Np here. My husband doesn’t really do celebrations / doesn’t want them for himself. Like he didn’t want me to take him to dinner when he finished his PhD, doesn’t want to do anything for his birthday, and definitely doesn’t want anything for Father’s Day from me (happy to get a drawing or a hug or whatever school project from kids). For Christmas this year he sent me the link to the sweatshirt he wanted. I’ve generally come to accept this. When I turned 30 I told him “I want a cake, friends to eat it with, and I don’t want to have to organize it other than giving you email addresses” and he pulled it off. I was angry the mother s day I told him I’d had my birthday, had our first child, Christmas, our 5th wedding anniversary, and our 20th anniversary of our first date with nothing and would like something nice for Mother’s Day and got nothing. Not even a card. That was 11 years ago. But…yesterday I planned an outing and we all had a really nice day. He’s good at other things but not holidays.

Anonymous wrote:Please grow up. All of you who have ridiculous expectations of Mother's Day.

+100

Please grow up. All of you who have ridiculous expectations of Mother's Day.

A decade later, these men “she blindsighted me with divorce!”

Anonymous wrote:So, none of you get anything from your husband for Mother's Day? Seriously nothing?

Do you get nothing for your husband for Father's Day? I usually get a card and something small for my husband. And vice versa for me.

Absolutely nothing, not even a wish unless I remind him. Got stuff from th kids but only bc they made it in daycare/school. I don't do anything for MIL, she raised a dud.

When I have asked for something it's almost worse - like making an enormous deal about what an imposition it is. Birthdays are the same.

I did a great Father's Day gift last year but this year no way. It's tit for tat but I am done.

Anonymous wrote:So last year I got exactly nothing for Mother's Day. Not a card, nothing from the kids, nada. I was upset - I mean, can't you even have the kids make a card or something? and later on got the guilt flowers from the grocery store.

This year, husband is working in another city, so we're not together. My kids stepped up and gave me nice cards and a picture from each. I got a phone call from my husband, that's it.

I have never been huge on gifts for Valentine's, Mother's Day, even our anniversary. I was tying to just chill out about it but then my mom sent a text saying she hoped I got some beautiful flowers. Well, I didn't. And of course I have always been the one that has taken on all the responsibility for sending my 7 nieces and nephews gifts, flowers or gifts for my mother in-law for her birthday, anniversary, Mother's Day. IF I didn't, my husband wouldn't even think about it.

I'm not sure it's worth me even telling him anything. But it just feels like crap.

You don't get to say "I have never been huge on gifts for ....Mother's Day..." and then go on about how it "feels like crap" after your mother sends a text that was clearly manipulative.

Cut it out. Your DH clearly does not have a love language of gifts. If you want a big fancy flower arrangement for Mother's Day you are going to have to tell him so. Be an adult -- communicate your needs. Oh wait -- it sounds like you did communicate in the past that you are not "huge" on gifts for such holidays?

Every year since the kids were a bit older I made plans with my girlfriends for a full day at a spa or at least brunch and a pedicure. On Sunday my DH takes the kids out for flowers and gifts (small things that the kids choose) and we order takeout for dinner. We also will go on an outing that I like - farmers market, cafe, museum. It’s lovely for me and pretty easy on everyone.

This is a marriage that is going downhill by a thousand little cuts. Think about what a year will look like if you stay. Either you accept being in a crappy marriage or you get out.

The issue is that a partner is expressing a desire / value (please recognize me in Mother’s Day), and her spouse is saying - nah. It’s not important to him, and he doesnt care that it upsets her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not each other's parents. I don't understand this.

Again, when kids are little, you get involved to instill a tradition and teach them appreciation. But once they are old enough to take that over...you step back.

Not saying you are wrong or alone in this...but I just can't relate to it at all.

Um, it's about showing a ppreciation for the mother of your kids, thanking her for doing a good job as their mother etc. Is it really that difficult?

With that a interpretation you should also be thanking your MIL for doing a good job as his mother. I don't think that's what you really want to do.