Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some of you are insane!

Of course it’s fine to have an unrelated nickname - it’s been done for centuries.

Name threads always bring out the hyper-controlling, judgmental crazies.

I agree, this doesn’t seem unusual to me. And it’s especially common with family names because it helps avoid name confusion. I’ve know lots of people named after their parents or grandparents who go by nicknames their entire lives. It’s not unusual.

+2. Goofy posters on this thread.

It’s perfectly fine, OP! Our DD goes by an unrelated nickname and there is no confusion or drama. She also has my last name as her middle name.

+3. Beyond goofy! Some get so deeply entrenched in their ridiculous opinions they can’t see straight.

All my kids have my last name for a middle name and that was never negotiable. I like unrelated nicknames. My best friend has gone by MacDuff/Duff her whole life. Her real name is Mary Ann. Her parents were Shakespeare buffs!

Sorry OP but it’s confusing and will bring a lifetime of you and your child having to explain it all over and over and over again.

If it was “her name is Elizabeth Anne but we call her Annie” I’d think ok, a little unique but whatever. If it is “her name is Elizabeth Anne but we call her Savannah” I’d think you were weird.

Just name her Summer Margaret Lastname. Or Summer Margaret Maidenname Lastname. Two middle names is cumbersome and one will always get cut off on forms etc. but it’s better than naming her Margaret Maidenname Lastname and calling her Summer, which is not part of her legal name, sounds plucked from thin air, pretentious, confusing, and odd.

Save yourselves the headache and simplify.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some of you are insane!

Of course it’s fine to have an unrelated nickname - it’s been done for centuries.

Name threads always bring out the hyper-controlling, judgmental crazies.

I agree, this doesn’t seem unusual to me. And it’s especially common with family names because it helps avoid name confusion. I’ve know lots of people named after their parents or grandparents who go by nicknames their entire lives. It’s not unusual.

+2. Goofy posters on this thread.

It’s perfectly fine, OP! Our DD goes by an unrelated nickname and there is no confusion or drama. She also has my last name as her middle name.

Anonymous wrote:Is it a problem for a child later?

We want to name our baby for my recently deceased MIL but call her an unrelated nickname. My DH wants to honor his mother but thinks hearing her name will make him sad. Calling her by her middle name isn’t an option since it will be my last name.

Like (but not this) calling her Summer when her real name is Margaret.

Why not use MIL name as middle name and your name as first?

So Summer Margaret?

I think it’s weird. Sorry.

I would never name my child something I didn’t actually love and want to hear right off the bat. It’s the official name so it comes up a lot. And to just call her a cutesy nick name instead? I actually love the name Summer and would use as official first name. But not as a fake first name for no good reason other than “we wanted to name her after mil but don’t like that name and really wanted her named summer so we are calling her summer I guess until we get sick of that”.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some of you are insane!

Of course it’s fine to have an unrelated nickname - it’s been done for centuries.

Name threads always bring out the hyper-controlling, judgmental crazies.

I agree, this doesn’t seem unusual to me. And it’s especially common with family names because it helps avoid name confusion. I’ve know lots of people named after their parents or grandparents who go by nicknames their entire lives. It’s not unusual.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make her middle name grandma's name. Simple.

OP said no to that in her post.

Well someone, either OP or her DH needs to be the adult and realize life is no longer all about them and their preferences.

Ha ha! So it’s not the parents preference to name their child?! Whose is it, dear - yours?

The child can go by her nickname or formal name when she wants to. The family will probably always call her by her nickname.

Are you always an idiot or do you just play one on the internet? Where did I say they need to do what I say?

They have to consider the child and the child of the future as others have pointed out if the child wants to go by her full name they have to deal. If DH can't cope with this he either needs to pick a different name or go to therapy so he can deal. alternatively, OP can concede and have it be a middle name instead of using her surname. However, it seems they both rather inflict dram and stress on their daughter.

Yeah, idiot, a name and a nickname are so much dram and stress on the child. “My name is Margaret Smith Jones but my family calls me Summer”. What a tragedy for that poor, poor child! That was five extra words!!!

You’re a fool, PP. The husband’s mother just died. I don’t think therapy is called for.

Are you speaking from experience here? Because as someone who had a name with an explanation it's a pain in the but and not just " 5 extra words"

I’m speaking from experience and it’s totally fine. And, you can go with, “Hi, I’m Summer Jones.” Most people don’t care.

Wow, some of you are insane!

Of course it’s fine to have an unrelated nickname - it’s been done for centuries.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make her middle name grandma's name. Simple.

OP said no to that in her post.

Well someone, either OP or her DH needs to be the adult and realize life is no longer all about them and their preferences.

Ha ha! So it’s not the parents preference to name their child?! Whose is it, dear - yours?

The child can go by her nickname or formal name when she wants to. The family will probably always call her by her nickname.

Are you always an idiot or do you just play one on the internet? Where did I say they need to do what I say?

They have to consider the child and the child of the future as others have pointed out if the child wants to go by her full name they have to deal. If DH can't cope with this he either needs to pick a different name or go to therapy so he can deal. alternatively, OP can concede and have it be a middle name instead of using her surname. However, it seems they both rather inflict dram and stress on their daughter.

Yeah, idiot, a name and a nickname are so much dram and stress on the child. “My name is Margaret Smith Jones but my family calls me Summer”. What a tragedy for that poor, poor child! That was five extra words!!!

You’re a fool, PP. The husband’s mother just died. I don’t think therapy is called for.

Are you speaking from experience here? Because as someone who had a name with an explanation it's a pain in the but and not just " 5 extra words"

Anonymous wrote:I think you are really over complicating all of this. Give your child your mother-in-law‘s name as her middle name. Use the name you guys like as the first name. Your mother-in-law will be honored, and your husband won’t have the pain he is expecting to be having his daughter named the same thing as his mother. If you don’t plan on calling her by the mother-in-law‘s name anyway, I have no idea why you would make it so complicated and confusing. Make it the middle name and move on.

But then OP can't use her maiden name as the middle name. They're both being ridiculous and selfish, and I already feel bad for Summer Margaret.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make her middle name grandma's name. Simple.

OP said no to that in her post.

Well someone, either OP or her DH needs to be the adult and realize life is no longer all about them and their preferences.

Ha ha! So it’s not the parents preference to name their child?! Whose is it, dear - yours?

The child can go by her nickname or formal name when she wants to. The family will probably always call her by her nickname.

Are you always an idiot or do you just play one on the internet? Where did I say they need to do what I say?

They have to consider the child and the child of the future as others have pointed out if the child wants to go by her full name they have to deal. If DH can't cope with this he either needs to pick a different name or go to therapy so he can deal. alternatively, OP can concede and have it be a middle name instead of using her surname. However, it seems they both rather inflict dram and stress on their daughter.

Yeah, idiot, a name and a nickname are so much dram and stress on the child. “My name is Margaret Smith Jones but my family calls me Summer”. What a tragedy for that poor, poor child! That was five extra words!!!

You’re a fool, PP. The husband’s mother just died. I don’t think therapy is called for.

Except what if she wants to be calle d MArgaret and only Margaret? I get the whole grief thing and losing a parent and habing a kif etc btdt. OP and her husband are being ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is really asking the wrong question. Sure having a nickname unrelated to the formal name is no big deal. The bigger issue is that the formal name and people using it will cause a huge issue for her husband. As has been pointed out you have limited control over how long she will be called by her nickname.

+1

The husband will be well past that part of grief long before the child can choose. He wants his daughter named for his mom - he just isn’t ready to hear it repeatedly yet.

Have you posters really never lost anyone close to you? You’re lucky.

I lost my dad asshole. Guess what I didn't name my son for my dad and then insist that nobody use the name because it might make me sad. DH needs therapy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make her middle name grandma's name. Simple.

OP said no to that in her post.

Then she’s likely opting to create a weird headache for her kid.

Like other posters, I know plenty of kids and adults who go by unrelated nicknames—but mostly in the family unit.

I know a guy whose close friends from childhood and relatives call him Peeper—but he wasn’t called that at school or at work.

I had a HS classmate who went by Jane. Her first and middle names weren’t Jane (not even close). She stopped using that name in college. How could you use what is essentially an alias at work?

Are you talking about using a silly nickname like Ladybird or a traditional name like Jane?

FWIW, I would hyphenate the last names and use grandma’s name as the middle.

I think you are really over complicating all of this. Give your child your mother-in-law‘s name as her middle name. Use the name you guys like as the first name. Your mother-in-law will be honored, and your husband won’t have the pain he is expecting to be having his daughter named the same thing as his mother. If you don’t plan on calling her by the mother-in-law‘s name anyway, I have no idea why you would make it so complicated and confusing. Make it the middle name and move on.

You can also do two middle names
Margo Summer Jones Lee