Anonymous wrote:There is no dream home. Lose that silly idea, that will help.

I just hate that fixer uppers I’d like to make perfect are always about 200k over what we want to spend factoring in renovations...

Did your parents or ILs give you money (see recent thread)?

Why else would you be so willing to overpay?

Good luck, I think you dodged a bullet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of homes available in PG county. You just don’t want to live near people of color because you have subconscious biases that you won’t admit.

Please, if those schools were scoring like all the 100% Asian schools out west people would be fighting to get in just like there.
It’s all about performance, disciple, and peer effects. POC has zero to do with it.

lol no they wouldn't
white people are also scared of the super smart asian kids that out perform theirs

NP. I am already “grieving” the house I will lose this week! Of course this loss is only a minor inconvenience when compared with the problems of the world. But it is a tiring process nonetheless.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get your point about being “ready to get our life started”. Your life doesn’t start when you buy a house, it already started! Why not try being happy for whoever got the house.

She’s pregnant, she’s probably in the nesting phase...give her a break.

Sorry - but things are so tough for so many people right now. I hope she can develop some more resilience. She’ll need it - with kids!

"House was already asking over 200k for what it’s worth, we offered 80k over that and waived all inspections and were going to pay for closing costs."

I think you're going into this from the start with the wrong attitude. You were offering $200K more than it was worth, obviously not. If you wanted to win this dream house, you never really were with that perspective.

Anonymous wrote:It happens to so many people. Pregnancy hormones not helping. You will find your home.

Yup.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get your point about being “ready to get our life started”. Your life doesn’t start when you buy a house, it already started! Why not try being happy for whoever got the house.

She’s pregnant, she’s probably in the nesting phase...give her a break.

+ 1

I have moved a lot in my life and been in various short term living situations. It can feel like purgatory at times when you have one foot out the door of where you don’t know where you’ll be living in the near future. Obviously there are people out there living with a lack of stable housing, but that doesn’t mean OP can’t be stressed about her own circumstances. Becoming a parent for the first time is a huge change and I’m sure she’s trying to at least figure out her housing scenario before the baby gets here (moving with a newborn would be much more difficult than moving before giving birth). Also not knowing whether you’re going to be completely priced out creates feelings of urgency and stress.

I cried over losing *the* perfect home back in 2019. There were 8 other offers and the sellers even came back and gave us a chance to raise our offer (I think they liked our letter), but we just couldn’t raise it enough to win against the cash offer they accepted. The house had SO much charm and was the most nicely updated one in our price range that we had seen (which probably meant it wasn’t really in our price range to begin with).

Fast forward and we found a house with a location we love even more (close to trails and parks, quieter street, permit parking that makes finding parking easier, etc.). And when the emotions subsided I realized there were some things about the other house that wouldn’t have quite worked for us — a lot of the main level living space was in a 3 seasons room that probably would have been very cold in the winter. While the bathrooms were very nicely updated, there was no bath tub, which would have been hard with young kids. Also, there wasn’t really any space to expand outward into the yard thanks to the lot shape. Whereas now we’re able to renovate/build out the house we did end up with because we bought below budget as opposed to stretching to the tip top.

I know it’s even harder out there now in 2021 than it was 2 years ago. But just wanted to give you some perspective that sometimes you do find something that works out even better.

To this day, DH and I still talk about how glad we were we didn’t blow our budget on that house we lost.

Anonymous wrote:Better to miss overpaying imo. Sorry.

We thought that, but housing prices have continued to March up and today’s overpaying is next months steal. It sucks, but don’t hold back if you want a place to own trying to outsmart the market.

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of homes available in PG county. You just don’t want to live near people of color because you have subconscious biases that you won’t admit.

Please, if those schools were scoring like all the 100% Asian schools out west people would be fighting to get in just like there.
It’s all about performance, disciple, and peer effects. POC has zero to do with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. I’ve been there, pregnant and all, and you know what? An even dreamier home showed up a year later

So keep up your spirits!

A year???

Well, it was there the whole time, but it was a fixer-upper priced too high, and so we took 6 months to persuade the seller to substantively decrease the price. By 100K. Then we renovated, exactly to our liking. I think DD was a little over a year old when we moved in. 10 years later, I still LOVE my home. My point is that it's worth waiting for a dream home, and that there might be several dream homes for you out there. Just like spouses...

So you bought basically in 2011 during a housing crash and recession.

Totally applicable.

Better to miss overpaying imo. Sorry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. I’ve been there, pregnant and all, and you know what? An even dreamier home showed up a year later

So keep up your spirits!

A year???

Well, it was there the whole time, but it was a fixer-upper priced too high, and so we took 6 months to persuade the seller to substantively decrease the price. By 100K. Then we renovated, exactly to our liking. I think DD was a little over a year old when we moved in. 10 years later, I still LOVE my home. My point is that it's worth waiting for a dream home, and that there might be several dream homes for you out there. Just like spouses...

It happens to so many people. Pregnancy hormones not helping. You will find your home.