Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue isn't the clubs per se, it is youth soccer in the US. If you think back 20 years (assuming you are old enough), most kids played rec, stayed rec and then maybe played high school. Very few played travel soccer and less played multiple teams. Now, many kids go from a few years of rec to this super competitive travel club level soccer. Not every kid is geared for that but it is a business so they push the parents to believe that the kids are amazing. That also means that the clubs need to show results when you are shelling out 3k for team dues alone.
Having been wrapped up in this for a while and actually pulling my child out of travel this year because of this crap, I would agree with others that the best approach is to chill and enjoy it. Don't worry about college scholarships or playing on the best team. Your child is most likely not going to get there. If she or he shows some great potential, then spend the time and money but otherwise, treat it like a fun weekend activity.

Please don't rock the delusional boat

NEWSFLASH: if you grew up in the DMV travel has been around since the 70s and produced some of the country's best players.

Very few could make select/travel teams back in the day. The few that did traveled and competed all over the Country in the same manner kids do today.

The difference today is ANY KID THAT WANTS TO PLAY TRAVEL can find a team. Teams have 6 teams per age group and the Rec leagues have become non-existent. Parents think their kids are oh-so special because they are on a 'travel' team.

Both posts above are true, which puts parents in a difficult spot. It's fine to say do the right thing and walk away from the insanity of youth club soccer, but rec. isn't a great option because it the pool is so limited. Playing rec. isn't fun for a talented player and frankly, a skilled travel player on a rec. team tends to annoy everyone. That's the problem. The same is true for the B and C teams at most club. There tends to be a considerable drop from the top to bottom of most clubs' B teams.

The best advice is to find somewhere you kid is happy playing and, if they are happy, stick it out no matter what you think about the club or the team's success in winning.

The advice about finding the right team, as opposed to a club, is not horrible advice, but in practice that might not work out. In his first five years of club soccer, my son had three coaches leave, either before or during the season, and had the age group shaken up by entire teams leaving a club or coming over from other clubs. In these club level changes, kids were promoted and demoted, and in some cases, refused promotions or demotions in order to honor the arrangement made with the coaches who moved entire teams (and the players they brought over). For the low, low price of $3,500 a year, your kid can learn that life is completely random, hard work and loyalty mean nothing, and to not get attached to anything because it could change at any moment.

The best advice is to not force your kid into any arrangement if he or she is not happy and to leave any situation that is clearly not fun or motivating. Stability is nice, but hard to find. We made the mistake of , thinking that we were teaching persistence and hard work to our unhappy kid. Instead, our kid learned that hard work doesn't pay off because he could be replaced by someone outside the club at any time and that physical attributes and connections get you ahead, and ultimately quit playing soccer. If I could go back and do it again, I would have found a middling team with a coach not interested in club hopping or building a dynasty, and hoped for the best.

Useful advice wrt what can go wrong - although losing three coaches in five years is not normal. I would suggest though that you need to select the coach based on his honesty/character rather than his ability. Plenty of middling coaches engage in shenanigans too, and there are top coaches who don't.

Ha! Normal for us at 2 clubs. Coaches move around to different clubs a lot. Or- their day job or family demands become too much.

We have had coaches change mid-season. It’s rare for my kids to have the same coach more than a year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue isn't the clubs per se, it is youth soccer in the US. If you think back 20 years (assuming you are old enough), most kids played rec, stayed rec and then maybe played high school. Very few played travel soccer and less played multiple teams. Now, many kids go from a few years of rec to this super competitive travel club level soccer. Not every kid is geared for that but it is a business so they push the parents to believe that the kids are amazing. That also means that the clubs need to show results when you are shelling out 3k for team dues alone.
Having been wrapped up in this for a while and actually pulling my child out of travel this year because of this crap, I would agree with others that the best approach is to chill and enjoy it. Don't worry about college scholarships or playing on the best team. Your child is most likely not going to get there. If she or he shows some great potential, then spend the time and money but otherwise, treat it like a fun weekend activity.

Please don't rock the delusional boat

NEWSFLASH: if you grew up in the DMV travel has been around since the 70s and produced some of the country's best players.

Very few could make select/travel teams back in the day. The few that did traveled and competed all over the Country in the same manner kids do today.

The difference today is ANY KID THAT WANTS TO PLAY TRAVEL can find a team. Teams have 6 teams per age group and the Rec leagues have become non-existent. Parents think their kids are oh-so special because they are on a 'travel' team.

Both posts above are true, which puts parents in a difficult spot. It's fine to say do the right thing and walk away from the insanity of youth club soccer, but rec. isn't a great option because it the pool is so limited. Playing rec. isn't fun for a talented player and frankly, a skilled travel player on a rec. team tends to annoy everyone. That's the problem. The same is true for the B and C teams at most club. There tends to be a considerable drop from the top to bottom of most clubs' B teams.

The best advice is to find somewhere you kid is happy playing and, if they are happy, stick it out no matter what you think about the club or the team's success in winning.

The advice about finding the right team, as opposed to a club, is not horrible advice, but in practice that might not work out. In his first five years of club soccer, my son had three coaches leave, either before or during the season, and had the age group shaken up by entire teams leaving a club or coming over from other clubs. In these club level changes, kids were promoted and demoted, and in some cases, refused promotions or demotions in order to honor the arrangement made with the coaches who moved entire teams (and the players they brought over). For the low, low price of $3,500 a year, your kid can learn that life is completely random, hard work and loyalty mean nothing, and to not get attached to anything because it could change at any moment.

The best advice is to not force your kid into any arrangement if he or she is not happy and to leave any situation that is clearly not fun or motivating. Stability is nice, but hard to find. We made the mistake of , thinking that we were teaching persistence and hard work to our unhappy kid. Instead, our kid learned that hard work doesn't pay off because he could be replaced by someone outside the club at any time and that physical attributes and connections get you ahead, and ultimately quit playing soccer. If I could go back and do it again, I would have found a middling team with a coach not interested in club hopping or building a dynasty, and hoped for the best.

Useful advice wrt what can go wrong - although losing three coaches in five years is not normal. I would suggest though that you need to select the coach based on his honesty/character rather than his ability. Plenty of middling coaches engage in shenanigans too, and there are top coaches who don't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most stresses for Parents in Youth Soccer are Self Induced. Mainly stemming from trying to use the sport/their kid to fill other personal needs.

Most stresses are from things not being MERIT-BASED.

Signed,
A former All-American NCAA player with no need to live vicariously

But you just did

Not at all. Watching politics and roster changes AFTER teams are selected to pacify a donor or 'long-suffering manager' teaches the kid effort and results don't matter.

I'm the first one to say another kid is better than one of my own and to tell them 'look if you want to play that position you have to be better than Timmy. Currently, you are not. Here are some of the things you can work on. If you don't want to put in the work, stop complaining'.

I agree with you on that. The inability for parents to let their kids try and fail is what creates adults not equipped for the real world. Parents who have “high levels of education” are typically the worst for this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue isn't the clubs per se, it is youth soccer in the US. If you think back 20 years (assuming you are old enough), most kids played rec, stayed rec and then maybe played high school. Very few played travel soccer and less played multiple teams. Now, many kids go from a few years of rec to this super competitive travel club level soccer. Not every kid is geared for that but it is a business so they push the parents to believe that the kids are amazing. That also means that the clubs need to show results when you are shelling out 3k for team dues alone.
Having been wrapped up in this for a while and actually pulling my child out of travel this year because of this crap, I would agree with others that the best approach is to chill and enjoy it. Don't worry about college scholarships or playing on the best team. Your child is most likely not going to get there. If she or he shows some great potential, then spend the time and money but otherwise, treat it like a fun weekend activity.

Please don't rock the delusional boat

NEWSFLASH: if you grew up in the DMV travel has been around since the 70s and produced some of the country's best players.

Very few could make select/travel teams back in the day. The few that did traveled and competed all over the Country in the same manner kids do today.

The difference today is ANY KID THAT WANTS TO PLAY TRAVEL can find a team. Teams have 6 teams per age group and the Rec leagues have become non-existent. Parents think their kids are oh-so special because they are on a 'travel' team.

Both posts above are true, which puts parents in a difficult spot. It's fine to say do the right thing and walk away from the insanity of youth club soccer, but rec. isn't a great option because it the pool is so limited. Playing rec. isn't fun for a talented player and frankly, a skilled travel player on a rec. team tends to annoy everyone. That's the problem. The same is true for the B and C teams at most club. There tends to be a considerable drop from the top to bottom of most clubs' B teams.

The best advice is to find somewhere you kid is happy playing and, if they are happy, stick it out no matter what you think about the club or the team's success in winning.

The advice about finding the right team, as opposed to a club, is not horrible advice, but in practice that might not work out. In his first five years of club soccer, my son had three coaches leave, either before or during the season, and had the age group shaken up by entire teams leaving a club or coming over from other clubs. In these club level changes, kids were promoted and demoted, and in some cases, refused promotions or demotions in order to honor the arrangement made with the coaches who moved entire teams (and the players they brought over). For the low, low price of $3,500 a year, your kid can learn that life is completely random, hard work and loyalty mean nothing, and to not get attached to anything because it could change at any moment.

The best advice is to not force your kid into any arrangement if he or she is not happy and to leave any situation that is clearly not fun or motivating. Stability is nice, but hard to find. We made the mistake of , thinking that we were teaching persistence and hard work to our unhappy kid. Instead, our kid learned that hard work doesn't pay off because he could be replaced by someone outside the club at any time and that physical attributes and connections get you ahead, and ultimately quit playing soccer. If I could go back and do it again, I would have found a middling team with a coach not interested in club hopping or building a dynasty, and hoped for the best.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue isn't the clubs per se, it is youth soccer in the US. If you think back 20 years (assuming you are old enough), most kids played rec, stayed rec and then maybe played high school. Very few played travel soccer and less played multiple teams. Now, many kids go from a few years of rec to this super competitive travel club level soccer. Not every kid is geared for that but it is a business so they push the parents to believe that the kids are amazing. That also means that the clubs need to show results when you are shelling out 3k for team dues alone.
Having been wrapped up in this for a while and actually pulling my child out of travel this year because of this crap, I would agree with others that the best approach is to chill and enjoy it. Don't worry about college scholarships or playing on the best team. Your child is most likely not going to get there. If she or he shows some great potential, then spend the time and money but otherwise, treat it like a fun weekend activity.

Please don't rock the delusional boat

NEWSFLASH: if you grew up in the DMV travel has been around since the 70s and produced some of the country's best players.

Very few could make select/travel teams back in the day. The few that did traveled and competed all over the Country in the same manner kids do today.

The difference today is ANY KID THAT WANTS TO PLAY TRAVEL can find a team. Teams have 6 teams per age group and the Rec leagues have become non-existent. Parents think their kids are oh-so special because they are on a 'travel' team.