“I can’t drive other kids, but if you’re offering to drive Larlo that would be great thank you”

I am a single, working mom and I never carpool. I have to plan out my schedule in advance and really don't have room for last minute changes. I found that carpool always included some last minute changes. I will occasionally take other kids home from activities if they live on the way.

Carpooling isn’t working for us this year. Change subject. And and agree, no need to nice it up with an I’m sorry. You don’t need to apologize for your choices

My kids hate car pools. It is that simple.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious ( not judging) why you don’t want to carpool? Is it because you can’t do everyone so you’d rather do no one? My kid does one camp that is 10 mins away and I don’t feel the need to carpool. Pre Covid though she also did an art camp 25/30 mins away and I totally wanted to carpool. Shared the drive with 3 other moms so only had to drive once in one direction every other day.

Some kids are brats which only comes up after the honeymoon is over and once you have an arrangement it is awkward to break it.

Yep, and even if they aren’t brats, they are more work than just having my kids. Sometimes camp is on my way home and dropping off another kid takes longer. I do it with moms I know well, whose kids really are easy. Otherwise, I would rather have a calm ride and catch up with my kids.

Exactly. Also, I never know when we will be running late or want to stop somewhere after camp. I would maybe consider if for a short-term situation like 1-2 weeks and the camp was more than 20 minutes away.

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious ( not judging) why you don’t want to carpool? Is it because you can’t do everyone so you’d rather do no one? My kid does one camp that is 10 mins away and I don’t feel the need to carpool. Pre Covid though she also did an art camp 25/30 mins away and I totally wanted to carpool. Shared the drive with 3 other moms so only had to drive once in one direction every other day.

Not the OP but these are the reasons I have said no:

1) I don't like other people making me late
2) They had a transportation/schedule problem in general and really needed to hire someone, not pretend they wanted to share rides
3) The kid was unruly
4) The kid incessantly asked for playdates at our house and even when I refused the parents encouraged it (because hey, why not get some free babysitting too)
5) I just didn't feel like it because I liked having no commitments

Anonymous wrote:You can say what a mom told me once - "we don't do carpools".

We don’t. It’s honest and not unkind.

It’s the ole “ask a sahm, teen, or college student” move. I’m sorry your having to deal with that.

Just say no. The one time I carpooled the little girl literally lived behind me. I’m not doing it inform is inconvenient, and I definitely wouldn’t carpool during COVID. Outdoor camp is different than rolling around in a car.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, thanks. We aren't planning to carpool.

+1 simple and no misunderstandings.

x10000

Simple and to the point.

x10000 again. Clear and to the point. And because I assume you are a woman, OP, don't add on a "I'm sorry" because you don't have to feel sorry.

I was a stay at home for awhile in a neighborhood with working parents. While I never minded helping out in a pinch I did not want to be on the hook for any regular childcare. I was just very honest and direct. One Mom wanted me to get her daughter off the bus ALL the time after I did it as a favor once or twice. I just said very clearly, "I'm not able to do it every day, but I'm happy to help out occasionally." I never explained why, I just left it at that. You do not have to explain or justify. Just state your answer in a friendly clear way.

Anonymous wrote:You should say that you can't commit to carpooling but can recommend 5 other moms who might be interested and have asked you (set those moms up with each other and then step out of it!).

Brilliant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious ( not judging) why you don’t want to carpool? Is it because you can’t do everyone so you’d rather do no one? My kid does one camp that is 10 mins away and I don’t feel the need to carpool. Pre Covid though she also did an art camp 25/30 mins away and I totally wanted to carpool. Shared the drive with 3 other moms so only had to drive once in one direction every other day.

Some kids are brats which only comes up after the honeymoon is over and once you have an arrangement it is awkward to break it.

Yep, and even if they aren’t brats, they are more work than just having my kids. Sometimes camp is on my way home and dropping off another kid takes longer. I do it with moms I know well, whose kids really are easy. Otherwise, I would rather have a calm ride and catch up with my kids.

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious ( not judging) why you don’t want to carpool? Is it because you can’t do everyone so you’d rather do no one? My kid does one camp that is 10 mins away and I don’t feel the need to carpool. Pre Covid though she also did an art camp 25/30 mins away and I totally wanted to carpool. Shared the drive with 3 other moms so only had to drive once in one direction every other day.

Some kids are brats which only comes up after the honeymoon is over and once you have an arrangement it is awkward to break it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, thanks. We aren't planning to carpool.

+1 simple and no misunderstandings.

x10000

Simple and to the point.