Anonymous
Post 03/16/2021 21:18     Subject: Is a 16 year old allowed to live by himself?
My bf in high school was left alone at 16. If I remember correctly, his dad got a job in another state. I have no clue why both parents left and didn't stay behind with him. I thought it was the saddest thing in the world but I didn't think to ask details.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2021 17:55     Subject: Re:Is a 16 year old allowed to live by himself?
I had a college bf who had moved out when he was 16 and lived on his own due to family conflicts. He was fine but it depends hugely on the kid. I had a friend with 8 kids (single mom) most of whose older kids split when they were 16 although they would typically move in with one of the older siblings (like 18). I knew someone else who had a major stroke and ended up in a nursing home around the time her son was turning 17. She actually ended up with a guardian (another friend) but he did not, although his mom's friends were there for help if he needed it.

That being said, the ideal is not for him to be all by his lonesome no matter how hardworking and responsible he is. Definitely need to make sure there is someone who can make emergency medical decisions if he is unable to and help if any major issues arise.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2021 17:31     Subject: Is a 16 year old allowed to live by himself?
Anonymous wrote:

OP here with an update.

I researched my situation more in-depth, and the risk I will need to leave at the drop of a hat now appears remote... as long as I can get all my paperwork filed in time!!! I need to hustle, and get all my ducks in a row. I'm dependent on certain people for letters of recommendation, and I hope they'll come through for me within the next 10 days.

Regardless, I've already started to train DS on how to be a good guest, re: not spending too much time in the bathroom, laundry, picking up after himself, vacuuming, cooking basic things, washing up. There is a friend willing to take him in if things don't go as planned. He won't learn to drive in time, but someone else is willing to drive him to activities. I will also check with Kaiser Permanente on what documents are needed for medical decisions, and possibly consult a family law attorney.

Thank you so much for your advice, as well as your words of warning!



Good news! I have been checking back for updates. One thing I thought of was him having his ID/Passport stuff all up to date. Does he have a US Passport? Is it good until he's 18 and can renew on his own. Does your country of origin require a visa if he needed to travel there? Does he have one or know how to get one? If he's eligible for a driver's license can he get one. Does he know where his social security card is? Stuff like that.

I hope everything works out.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2021 14:32     Subject: Is a 16 year old allowed to live by himself?


OP here with an update.

I researched my situation more in-depth, and the risk I will need to leave at the drop of a hat now appears remote... as long as I can get all my paperwork filed in time!!! I need to hustle, and get all my ducks in a row. I'm dependent on certain people for letters of recommendation, and I hope they'll come through for me within the next 10 days.

Regardless, I've already started to train DS on how to be a good guest, re: not spending too much time in the bathroom, laundry, picking up after himself, vacuuming, cooking basic things, washing up. There is a friend willing to take him in if things don't go as planned. He won't learn to drive in time, but someone else is willing to drive him to activities. I will also check with Kaiser Permanente on what documents are needed for medical decisions, and possibly consult a family law attorney.

Thank you so much for your advice, as well as your words of warning!

Anonymous
Post 03/16/2021 14:19     Subject: Re:Is a 16 year old allowed to live by himself?
Talk to a family law attorney, but there should be ways to do it. Also in MoCo the "system" is very sympathetic to situations like this because they are common. Ignore the threats of CPS. If your son is responsible and can stay out of trouble, CPS wont' come knocking.

I had one friend in high school like this -- his parents lived abroad, and another where it was pratically like it -- parents owned a 24-hour gas station in Baltimore and came home once a week to sleep basically. In both cases, the kids were responsible and handled it fine.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2021 14:12     Subject: Re:Is a 16 year old allowed to live by himself?
Anonymous wrote:OP,

In addition to all that was said, you also need to be training your son now for the potential change (you may have already done this). Have him pay the bills, buy food and prepare all meals for a week. Have him clean your home. Have him do his own laundry. Do not leave all of these things for him to learn without a parent, Even if he stays with a family, this training will come in handy.


She can probably pay the bills online and have groceries delivered. Laundry, food prep, and all that stuff may be a bigger issue. I'd also teach him to drive, get a license and car if you can afford all that. Better to reach out and find a friend he can live with. We'd probably take him given the situation.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2021 14:10     Subject: Re:Is a 16 year old allowed to live by himself?
OP,

In addition to all that was said, you also need to be training your son now for the potential change (you may have already done this). Have him pay the bills, buy food and prepare all meals for a week. Have him clean your home. Have him do his own laundry. Do not leave all of these things for him to learn without a parent, Even if he stays with a family, this training will come in handy.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2021 11:36     Subject: Is a 16 year old allowed to live by himself?
OP, find someone who'd be willing to have your kid live with them, then talk to the lawyers at one of these places. They will help you with the documents for guardianship.

https://www.hias.org/legal-services
https://www.catholiccharitiesdc.org/legalnetwork/
https://www.ayuda.com/about-us/
https://www.apalrc.org/
https://wearecasa.org/programs/legal/
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2021 11:00     Subject: Is a 16 year old allowed to live by himself?
Two of my kids went to college across the country at 16. They were fine. But you said your son has never been alone before. Maybe leave him home alone for an hour before you leave him home alone for a year...
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2021 10:51     Subject: Is a 16 year old allowed to live by himself?
That's very tough. It could take a month and more months. If there is a backlog, that could mean 12 months!

You need to designate a trusted guardian for him. Preferably someone he will be able to stay with him in the same residence. Hopefully, the adult is mature enough. And your son needs to be mature to monitor and be responsible for himself. You know how some teenager to get out of control if left on their own.

A boarding school sounds like an option if you can't find a trusted adult.

Good Luck!
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2021 22:00     Subject: Is a 16 year old allowed to live by himself?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I believe this would qualify as neglect if he was not emancipated.

You have a responsibility to ensure his safety and care until he is 18. He's NOT 18. You would be abandoning him. That is neglect. It is not o.k.

You need to arrange for his guardianship. Someone needs to be responsible for him. I do not think you can get him emancipated just because you want to leave the country.


CPS isn't going to get involved with a 16 year old who has a place to live, money, and needs being met. If they took him, he'd go into independent living which is basically a group home loosely supervised. The big issue is if he gets sick or needs help. With under 16 he may need someone to sign but he could email documents to mom and have mom sign.


You are wrong and OP should not believe this.

If they became aware of the situation, they would have to act and place him in foster care until they could determine where his parents are located. Once the child told CPS that his parents were in another country, they would then have to contact immigration.

If a teacher suspects there is no parent, they could call CPS.
If the child becomes injured and has to go to the hospital, they will call CPS.

Op needs to find someone to act as a guardian in their absence.



No, I am not and was a Cps worker for many years.
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2021 21:59     Subject: Is a 16 year old allowed to live by himself?
Anonymous wrote:
OP here.

So... Who can I contact to confirm that my 16 year old will legally be allowed to live either by himself in my home, or with a friend, for the duration of my immigration process? He’s a US citizen, of course.

What paperwork do I need to sign, for medical care and temporary authorization to live without me, or in the care of someone else?

Thank you. We are very stressed about this, and my immigration attorney is not helpful.



I think you will need someone who does family law. I'm assuming they will say you need an adult your trust who you name in a healthcare proxy (this document has different names in different states) and maybe a temporary guardian. It sounds like you don't have a close friend or relative who is in a position to take your son in or move into your house? I would be thinking about hiring someone resposnible who could live in the house with your son and provide some basic support in return for free rent.