Yeah, my parent's were never really interested in me; love my nanny though. I literally have a Mom-daughter relationship with her instead of my Mom. My Mom did not even come to my baby shower but Nanny was there for me and helped me deliver. I just do not think they liked parenthood after they had me. They do not want to be called anything "grand" and go by first names with my 3 kids. My kids do not have much of a relationship with them either. I think this is why I strive to be a very involved Mom.

Anonymous wrote:Narcissistic boomers

Exactly!!

Anonymous wrote:When you point the finger at someone else, look at your own hand. You'll see that there are three fingers pointing right straight back at you. Think about it.

LOL. Any other wisdom you would like to share? Tell us more.
DP

So glad that I found this thread because I can relate to all of this. Self-centered parents, one of whom talks nonstop without letting me get a word in edgewise. A sibling that never asks anything about my life, kids, job, etc. I see that I am not alone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you point the finger at someone else, look at your own hand. You'll see that there are three fingers pointing right straight back at you. Think about it.

Are you serious? Are you in kindergarten?

No, but you seem to be. I am a different poster but I "serious" when I encourage you to think about what she's saying.

I have read most of the replies and I don't think anyone has touched on this, but are you the non-favored child. We have this on both sides of the family.
I am the non-favored child (only girl with 3 brothers) and I just happened to have married the non-favored child (DH has one sister).

In my family it is my youngest brother. My parents can and will talk to him for hours. In my DH's family it is his sister. DH has to listen to endless stories about sister's job, BIL's job and their kids.

I'm very close to my other two brothers and my aunts, my father's 3 sisters. In DH's family we are close to several of his aunts, uncles and cousins. These people know things about us before our parents.
My husband and I grew up on different continents and we are different races. His family of origin was UMC and my family was poor. I'm not sure what leads to these dynamics.

My inlaws, my SIL, and my sister are ALL like this. They don’t even ask obvious reciprocal questions. Like if I ask a question about their child, they answer but then don’t ask about mine. I ask if they are vacationing this summer, they answer but no reciprocal question. Ask about their work, same. For every topic. We know so much about all of them, they know next to nothing about us. My husband notices it too.

It’s really weird.

Anonymous wrote:When you point the finger at someone else, look at your own hand. You'll see that there are three fingers pointing right straight back at you. Think about it.

Are you serious? Are you in kindergarten?

My parents are like that but they will not even ask how we are.

Anonymous wrote:Like my FIL calling me to ask how to pronounce something in my language and then when I tried to add what it means, he told me to stop talking bcs he is the one that has to talk?
Self-centered, care only about themselves people?
Sorry, op, you can't change them, selfish is as selfish does!

OMG what a jackass. I would have hung up on him mid sentence.

No advice, just solidarity. My father has been like this my whole life, and it’s just getting worse as he ages. One thing that really grinds my gears is that he LOVES portraying himself as a very involved father and grandfather on social media, even though he takes zero interest in our lives. I just avoid talking to him at this point.

I see you’ve met my in-laws. They can both just yammer on nonstop for hours without even really talking about anything? It’s insane.

I did have an aging professional tell me that many of those who she works with (even plenty without dementia) become more "me focused" and like toddlers.