I’m in recovery and this is a common conversation, especially with newly sober people. It can be extremely nerve wracking to go into drinking situation, and especially with work functions, an alcoholic doesn’t usually want to say, I’m an alcoholic.

While I would never name another as an alcoholic, the people I know who usually would pressure someone to drink, drink to much themselves.

Although more difficult at a small gathering my go to is to drink soda water with lime at any situation with a bar, people will assume it’s a liquor drink of some sort.

Anonymous wrote:I enjoy a (one) glass of wine and stop. If I'm with friends, I'll have two, then stop. I grew up in an alc0holic home, so I am very careful with drinking. I've never been drunk.

I would turn it around and ask, "Why is it so important to you that I am drinking alcohol like you? Why is this bothering you so much?" Wait for the answer. It will probably stump them. Then you say "I'm fine, concentrate on your own drinking."

I think this would be my third response.

I don't agree without suggesting to lie about medications or conditions, that just perpetuates the idea that you av to have a "good enough reason" not to drink beyond you simply don't want to.


Basically decline with a smile. If they ask a second-time decline again assure them you are fine and having fun and if the press te issue then pp's response is perfect.

I think this response is likely from people who are problem drinkers and aren't ready to confront it, they see you making a change and that triggers uncomfortable feelings and questions in them, so they react with defensiveness and insecurity.

Our culture normalizes problem drinking so when someone decides to make a healthy change it can feel like a rejection of them as a person and not just the alcohol.

This is really odd to hear, and OP, I’m sorry you have to deal with it. From my POV, as a drinker, I honestly don’t care what people do or don’t do with their beverages. I can’t imagine pressuring someone to drink. Your friends sound insecure.