Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For years, we fed the kids first (generally leftovers), put them to bed, and then cooked and had a nice, relaxing dinner. It was glorious, and I highly recommend it. When they got into a school schedule (they were 4 and 5) we started doing family dinners. We did eat breakfast and lunch together on the weekends.

I know many, many people that have done it that way.

This is sad. You cooked fresh for yourself and gave your kids leftovers?

You think leftovers are sad? How fricking elitist can you be?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For years, we fed the kids first (generally leftovers), put them to bed, and then cooked and had a nice, relaxing dinner. It was glorious, and I highly recommend it. When they got into a school schedule (they were 4 and 5) we started doing family dinners. We did eat breakfast and lunch together on the weekends.

I know many, many people that have done it that way.

This is sad. You cooked fresh for yourself and gave your kids leftovers?

I'm not the PP, but what's sad about pre-cooked food? We batch cook on Sundays and we all eat leftovers all week. What's wrong with that?

Anonymous wrote:For years, we fed the kids first (generally leftovers), put them to bed, and then cooked and had a nice, relaxing dinner. It was glorious, and I highly recommend it. When they got into a school schedule (they were 4 and 5) we started doing family dinners. We did eat breakfast and lunch together on the weekends.

I know many, many people that have done it that way.

This is sad. You cooked fresh for yourself and gave your kids leftovers?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never ate dinner at a separate time from our kids. Dinner time was dinner time— for everyone. It wasn’t at 5 pm and there wasn’t “kid food” and “adult food.” There was (& is) just dinner. We aren’t strict at all, but we just never did meals, etc separately (nor were DH or I raised that way).

What time is that? We always had at least one adult who didn’t get home til 6:30 or 7. That was just too late. Are people leaving work at 5 or before? I mean pre pandemic. Both parents? How do you afford DC??

We are just like PP above. DS who is now 6 always ate with us, even as a toddler in his high chair. But his bedtime has always been 7:30-8pm, usually more towards 8pm. We eat around 6:30-7pm.

We live in DC, just north of Capitol Hill, by H St NE. No one we know gets home at 6:30 or 7. Maybe because the commute is short and not 45 minutes plus like in upper NW.

Anonymous wrote:This just might have been luck but we have two good eaters (eat adult meals and love veggies). One of us always eats dinner with them, even if both parents aren’t home from work. Weekends all meals together.

forgot to add we eat at 5/5:30pm.

This just might have been luck but we have two good eaters (eat adult meals and love veggies). One of us always eats dinner with them, even if both parents aren’t home from work. Weekends all meals together.

Anonymous wrote:We never ate dinner at a separate time from our kids. Dinner time was dinner time— for everyone. It wasn’t at 5 pm and there wasn’t “kid food” and “adult food.” There was (& is) just dinner. We aren’t strict at all, but we just never did meals, etc separately (nor were DH or I raised that way).

What time is that? We always had at least one adult who didn’t get home til 6:30 or 7. That was just too late. Are people leaving work at 5 or before? I mean pre pandemic. Both parents? How do you afford DC??

We never ate dinner at a separate time from our kids. Dinner time was dinner time— for everyone. It wasn’t at 5 pm and there wasn’t “kid food” and “adult food.” There was (& is) just dinner. We aren’t strict at all, but we just never did meals, etc separately (nor were DH or I raised that way).

OP, I don't think it's super important right now, as long as you are sharing other meals with your child.

With our first child, we did family dinner every single night around 5-530pm. We also both worked from home and finished by 4pm. We continued that when DC2 was a newborn, but then we were both working out of the house full-time and our nanny fed the kids at 5pm (we were both home between 5-530).

Now, they are 4 and 6, she still feeds them by 5pm most of the time, leaves shortly after 5:00, and then we have some really nice family time together playing board games and things like that.

Our 4YO needs to go to bed by 7pm, so we far prefer our setup to trying to cram cooking, dinner, showers, etc. into the 2 hours we have before he goes to bed. Our time together is much higher quality. Hopefully once he's a little older we can move to family dinners.

We sit down as a family for dinner at 5:30 every night. Children are 3 and almost 2. I try to go around and ask everyone what the best part of their day was. I feel like starting this now is easier than later.

For me personally I wanted to make family dinner a thing. I sat down to dinner with my family regularly as a child and it’s some of my best memories.

Anonymous wrote:Mine aren’t that much older (9, 7, and 5) but, yes, I do think it’s important. Kids need to learn early to eat what you eat, and what’s on the table. Our kids know that family dinners are important and generally, they eat what they’re served. We’ve had dinners as a family, most nights, since our first was born. Weekends DH and I eat later, but one or both of us sit at the table while the kids eat, typically, and we talk. I don’t think it’s the only factor, but our kids are fantastic about eating vegetables, tofu, and all manner of things—and I do think that having that as an expectation from a young age (and seeing DH and I eating those things) helps.

Family dinner with a newborn? Someone gag me right now.

OP--just do what you can and please stop worrying about family dinner.

My kids are teens now. Let me assure you that eating schedules during toddlerhood do not matter AT ALL. They are hungry at like 5. Just let them eat. Family dinner is for talking over your day when they get older.

Mine aren’t that much older (9, 7, and 5) but, yes, I do think it’s important. Kids need to learn early to eat what you eat, and what’s on the table. Our kids know that family dinners are important and generally, they eat what they’re served. We’ve had dinners as a family, most nights, since our first was born. Weekends DH and I eat later, but one or both of us sit at the table while the kids eat, typically, and we talk. I don’t think it’s the only factor, but our kids are fantastic about eating vegetables, tofu, and all manner of things—and I do think that having that as an expectation from a young age (and seeing DH and I eating those things) helps.

For logistical ease, we've always eaten together, ever since my kid was a tiny baby.

I don't think we could have gotten dinner on the table before 6 even if we'd wanted to. With a toddler, dinner would be together at 6 or 6.30. I'll say that an advantage of a routine where you eat at the same time is that you can go out to eat as a family, and everyone is hungry around the same time.

I don’t think it needs to be all or nothing. My kids are 3 and 5 and it just really depends on the night whether we eat together or do our own thing. During the week we tend to eat together more often (but only because I’ve pushed dinner back to 6:15-30). I have never been someone who can eat before 6. Honestly we eat together more now than we used to. The newborn + toddler stage was about survival to us, so I didn’t really fret over having a family meal prepared for all of us every.single.night while I was also getting up with a nursing infant and dealing with a potty training toddler. I chose my priorities and decided some quiet adult time to talk over a dinner together in the evening with my DH was important.

Now while we mostly do family dinners together, on a weekend night or two we tend to treat ourselves to some adult takeout (like sushi) after the kids are in bed. Just because it’s a pandemic doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have at home date nights.

So yes, family dinners are important, but so is your marriage. I think mixing it up establishes some level of routine with kids and minimizes the double cooking/cleanup that a PP mentioned. But you also don’t have to resign yourself to eating food your kids will eat* at 6 pm every night.

We do try to get our kids to eat food we eat, but we have to be realistic. We can all make pizza together and they like Mexican food night. But there are a lot of foods I like that just aren’t going to realistically be eaten by my kids and I refuse to make dinner a battle ground.