Anonymous
02/15/2021 13:49
Subject: FT working moms: how do you stay organized so weekends aren’t a shitshow?
DH and I are currently working from home full time, but pre-COVID went into an office anywhere from 1-3x/week. We’d try to swap off so at least one of us was at home on any given day. Not sure if telework is an option for you, but it’s a huge reason we’ve been able to maintain some sanity as working parents.
Things that help:
Short commute (like maybe 10-15 min.) or telework for at least one parent who can handle the preschool/school bus pickup and drop off. Or be able to work in flex bands so one handles morning pickup and one handles afternoon drop off.
Creating a chore schedule and sticking to it. For instance, I always sort dirty laundry into baskets on Sunday nights. Then I do a bit of laundry each day and fold at night during any slow times I can sneak in or while watching tv. DH has his schedule too for taking out garbage, feeding pets, etc. It’s basically automatic. Kids are expected to help with basic toy cleanup, putting dirty clothes in hamper, taking dirty plates to sink, etc. Start your toddler helping out young even if it’s not much help.
Dinners during the week are beyond simple. Think rotisserie chicken and a bagged salad. Kids eat what we eat with slight modification. Twice a week we use a healthy meal delivery service that only requires heating and serving. We do take out (often pizza for the family) nearly every Friday when we’re just spent.
Outsource housecleaning and maintenance like mulching and gutter cleaning. This helps a ton. Even just one thorough house cleaning each month alleviates some stress.
We use ToDoIst to manage our entire lives. We check off the recurring chores, things like camp registration deadlines, sports practices (before COVID), and DH and I enter any important work obligations so the other can look in the app and know when the other has a busy day.
Bedtime is no frills. ONE book. Tuck in. A big hug. Then goodnight. No crazy routines that take 90 minutes to finish.
Doing all this helps us have weekends free. I refuse to do laundry or major cleaning during the weekend. I mean we do prep weekend meals, wash dishes, some light vacuuming, etc. But everyone deserves some downtime!
Not going to lie it’s still hard at times and I have to manage expectations of everything going to plan. But this is how we at least manage things.
Things that help:
Short commute (like maybe 10-15 min.) or telework for at least one parent who can handle the preschool/school bus pickup and drop off. Or be able to work in flex bands so one handles morning pickup and one handles afternoon drop off.
Creating a chore schedule and sticking to it. For instance, I always sort dirty laundry into baskets on Sunday nights. Then I do a bit of laundry each day and fold at night during any slow times I can sneak in or while watching tv. DH has his schedule too for taking out garbage, feeding pets, etc. It’s basically automatic. Kids are expected to help with basic toy cleanup, putting dirty clothes in hamper, taking dirty plates to sink, etc. Start your toddler helping out young even if it’s not much help.
Dinners during the week are beyond simple. Think rotisserie chicken and a bagged salad. Kids eat what we eat with slight modification. Twice a week we use a healthy meal delivery service that only requires heating and serving. We do take out (often pizza for the family) nearly every Friday when we’re just spent.
Outsource housecleaning and maintenance like mulching and gutter cleaning. This helps a ton. Even just one thorough house cleaning each month alleviates some stress.
We use ToDoIst to manage our entire lives. We check off the recurring chores, things like camp registration deadlines, sports practices (before COVID), and DH and I enter any important work obligations so the other can look in the app and know when the other has a busy day.
Bedtime is no frills. ONE book. Tuck in. A big hug. Then goodnight. No crazy routines that take 90 minutes to finish.
Doing all this helps us have weekends free. I refuse to do laundry or major cleaning during the weekend. I mean we do prep weekend meals, wash dishes, some light vacuuming, etc. But everyone deserves some downtime!
Not going to lie it’s still hard at times and I have to manage expectations of everything going to plan. But this is how we at least manage things.
Anonymous
02/15/2021 05:44
Subject: FT working moms: how do you stay organized so weekends aren’t a shitshow?
OP, my kids are slightly older but i remember the toddler years well and DHs job was such that he was not around for most evenings and about half the weekend. No outside help except for daycare.
- simultaneously raise AND lower expectations for food. Toddler eats what adults eat, everyone eats together, no way am i thinking of, planning and shopping and prepping for, two different dinners. Super simple meals and lots of reliance on pantry staples. Stirfry using whatever veg you have. Scrambled eggs and fruits. Grill some chicken one night and have leftovers with pasta and veg another night. Lots of batch cooking and cook once eat twice kind of meals. I am an obsessive meal planner as i hate to run to the store for a couple things so grocery shopping is once a week only.
- Dh handles laundry and i don’t say a thing except to make sure to separate anything that requires special handling. As little dry cleaning and line drying as possible.
- get your kids involved in chores ASAP. You are quickly approaching the ages where chores seem super fun to them if presented correctly. Get an extra swifter. Let them sort laundry etc.
- put a full set of cleaning supplies in each bathroom. The kids bathroom was always sparkling clean except the tub because i would clean it while they were in the bath
- i used to put a chicken in the oven around bath time. Once dd was in bed it would be just about done. Cool it and stick it in the fridge voila rotisserie chicken for another night
- i shifted my schedule to be super super early so i could leave work a little earlier than most - less traffic both ways and gave us more time on the evenings. Dhs schedule was a bit later so he would do AM drop off. DDs daycare day was actually fairly short (based on the kids that were there before her and still there after her).
- do not over schedule. One activity at a time not dance AND music AND tball. Just one especially in the toddler years!
- what helped us a lot in the cleaning drpt was having the worlds smallest house. We could clean the whole damn thing in about one hour. Less room for stuff so less stuff to deal with, pick up, etc.
- simultaneously raise AND lower expectations for food. Toddler eats what adults eat, everyone eats together, no way am i thinking of, planning and shopping and prepping for, two different dinners. Super simple meals and lots of reliance on pantry staples. Stirfry using whatever veg you have. Scrambled eggs and fruits. Grill some chicken one night and have leftovers with pasta and veg another night. Lots of batch cooking and cook once eat twice kind of meals. I am an obsessive meal planner as i hate to run to the store for a couple things so grocery shopping is once a week only.
- Dh handles laundry and i don’t say a thing except to make sure to separate anything that requires special handling. As little dry cleaning and line drying as possible.
- get your kids involved in chores ASAP. You are quickly approaching the ages where chores seem super fun to them if presented correctly. Get an extra swifter. Let them sort laundry etc.
- put a full set of cleaning supplies in each bathroom. The kids bathroom was always sparkling clean except the tub because i would clean it while they were in the bath
- i used to put a chicken in the oven around bath time. Once dd was in bed it would be just about done. Cool it and stick it in the fridge voila rotisserie chicken for another night
- i shifted my schedule to be super super early so i could leave work a little earlier than most - less traffic both ways and gave us more time on the evenings. Dhs schedule was a bit later so he would do AM drop off. DDs daycare day was actually fairly short (based on the kids that were there before her and still there after her).
- do not over schedule. One activity at a time not dance AND music AND tball. Just one especially in the toddler years!
- what helped us a lot in the cleaning drpt was having the worlds smallest house. We could clean the whole damn thing in about one hour. Less room for stuff so less stuff to deal with, pick up, etc.