Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She probably had a nanny before. My nanny did all the laundry and took kids to activities but quit at the start of the pandemic.

My takeaway has been that the real hero of the WOHMuniverse was the nanny. All the talk about the working mom doing a "real job" and doing every thing a SAHM does was just a load of BS. Now without the nanny/School/Childcare...the whole house of cards is crashing down. And all of the husbands seem to be good for nothing. Why is that?

All that talk was in your head.

It takes a village to raise a child. Nannies/daycares/baby sitters/housekeepers/cleaning ladies/tutors are essential. Every reasonable person admits this. If you are hanging out with crazies who do not, that is on you.

So you are not doing the work of a SAHM? And certainly not raising your kids yourself? And are you looking at these providers as WOHMs or you are the only WOHM and these are just "providers". LOL! Without the nannies, baby sitters, nannies, cleaning ladies, tutors and other low paid WOHMs doing the heavy lifting of raising children for the absentee moms, the wonderful marriages and schooling of the children is falling apart.

Yes, it takes a village to rise a child. But the low paid childcare provider was never seen as a working woman or a WOHM by the WOHMs on DCUM who profess to be superwomen.. Your cleaning lady is a WOHM too and she also has a family. She cannot outsource her childcare and housework to another woman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is op sorry for ghosting. Kid stays home half day with me and then half day in a pod type arrangement. So I feel like morning through lunch is all me, then I drive him to “school”, then I get home and have a few uninterrupted work hours, and then pick kid up again and figure out dinner. Spouse breezes in from office like whatever. And sometimes spouse wfh but just walks himself off in front of computer like he who cannot be disturbed.

Wait. You only have one kid?

One kid who is only home half the day. Oh boo, hoo, hoo.

+1
I am a SAHM and I am taking care of 5 family members who are home - cooking, cleaning, laundry, eldercare and helping my twin HS students with college application process.
Nope, I did not do all of this menial work when I was a SAHM because I outsourced a bunch of stuff and was in a home manager role. With the pandemic I dare not outsource anything. So I am doing SAHM work and Tutoring/college counseling work, elder care and cleaning, laundry and cooking.

I think the problem with OP is that she is only capable of working from the office. With all the help and with taking care of only one child part time, I don't think she is in hell. Maybe she is just inefficient or low energy.

I love that you think your post is a diss on working moms (who are only capable of working from the office?) whereas in reality it's a pathetic attempt from a SAHM to sound like she's SO busy and SO important. I have never once written this but it couldn't be more apt here - LOL.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is op sorry for ghosting. Kid stays home half day with me and then half day in a pod type arrangement. So I feel like morning through lunch is all me, then I drive him to “school”, then I get home and have a few uninterrupted work hours, and then pick kid up again and figure out dinner. Spouse breezes in from office like whatever. And sometimes spouse wfh but just walks himself off in front of computer like he who cannot be disturbed.

OP can you please explain what more you are doing than you were doing before other than drop off/pickup and feeding your child? Did your husband help around the house before? Did he make dinner before? Did he STOP doing anything or is this what your life was like before and you're just complaining about 3 extra hours a day with your child?

Wait, 3 extra hours a day is definitely enough to complain about! OP’s husband should be doing something to help alleviate that. Eg taking over dinner and bedtime and laundry to give OP time to catch up on work.

You're missing the point -- what is OP's husband NOT doing that he DID do before the pandemic...or has he always been this way?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is op sorry for ghosting. Kid stays home half day with me and then half day in a pod type arrangement. So I feel like morning through lunch is all me, then I drive him to “school”, then I get home and have a few uninterrupted work hours, and then pick kid up again and figure out dinner. Spouse breezes in from office like whatever. And sometimes spouse wfh but just walks himself off in front of computer like he who cannot be disturbed.

Wait. You only have one kid?

One kid who is only home half the day. Oh boo, hoo, hoo.

+1
I am a SAHM and I am taking care of 5 family members who are home - cooking, cleaning, laundry, eldercare and helping my twin HS students with college application process.
Nope, I did not do all of this menial work when I was a SAHM because I outsourced a bunch of stuff and was in a home manager role. With the pandemic I dare not outsource anything. So I am doing SAHM work and Tutoring/college counseling work, elder care and cleaning, laundry and cooking.

I think the problem with OP is that she is only capable of working from the office. With all the help and with taking care of only one child part time, I don't think she is in hell. Maybe she is just inefficient or low energy.

So the bolded is supposed to be some kind of part time work? Why list this nonsense. Are your children really slow?

You are the one who is inefficient and low energy.

Your situation is nowhere as stressful as OP's.

-SAHM

I agree, she has high schoolers. They're pretty independent--in fact they can and should be doing their own laundry and making their breakfasts and lunches. Are the elderly relatives needing hourly diaper changes or something? Otherwise this SAHM is just cooking and cleaning. It probably seems like a lot of work for her because she was used to playing tennis all day while someone else cooked and cleaned. OP on the other hand has a JOB and a younger child. Both of which are more work than everything PP described.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is op sorry for ghosting. Kid stays home half day with me and then half day in a pod type arrangement. So I feel like morning through lunch is all me, then I drive him to “school”, then I get home and have a few uninterrupted work hours, and then pick kid up again and figure out dinner. Spouse breezes in from office like whatever. And sometimes spouse wfh but just walks himself off in front of computer like he who cannot be disturbed.

OP can you please explain what more you are doing than you were doing before other than drop off/pickup and feeding your child? Did your husband help around the house before? Did he make dinner before? Did he STOP doing anything or is this what your life was like before and you're just complaining about 3 extra hours a day with your child?

Wait, 3 extra hours a day is definitely enough to complain about! OP’s husband should be doing something to help alleviate that. Eg taking over dinner and bedtime and laundry to give OP time to catch up on work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is op sorry for ghosting. Kid stays home half day with me and then half day in a pod type arrangement. So I feel like morning through lunch is all me, then I drive him to “school”, then I get home and have a few uninterrupted work hours, and then pick kid up again and figure out dinner. Spouse breezes in from office like whatever. And sometimes spouse wfh but just walks himself off in front of computer like he who cannot be disturbed.

Wait. You only have one kid?

One kid who is only home half the day. Oh boo, hoo, hoo.

+1
I am a SAHM and I am taking care of 5 family members who are home - cooking, cleaning, laundry, eldercare and helping my twin HS students with college application process.
Nope, I did not do all of this menial work when I was a SAHM because I outsourced a bunch of stuff and was in a home manager role. With the pandemic I dare not outsource anything. So I am doing SAHM work and Tutoring/college counseling work, elder care and cleaning, laundry and cooking.

I think the problem with OP is that she is only capable of working from the office. With all the help and with taking care of only one child part time, I don't think she is in hell. Maybe she is just inefficient or low energy.

So the bolded is supposed to be some kind of part time work? Why list this nonsense. Are your children really slow?

You are the one who is inefficient and low energy.

Your situation is nowhere as stressful as OP's.

-SAHM

Plus, are PP’s high schoolers so incompetent that they need their mom to do their college apps for them? My parents did nothing, other than a cursory read through my essays (took them maybe 5 hours each, total). Please, stop being a helicopter parent to justify your SAHM hood

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is op sorry for ghosting. Kid stays home half day with me and then half day in a pod type arrangement. So I feel like morning through lunch is all me, then I drive him to “school”, then I get home and have a few uninterrupted work hours, and then pick kid up again and figure out dinner. Spouse breezes in from office like whatever. And sometimes spouse wfh but just walks himself off in front of computer like he who cannot be disturbed.

Wait. You only have one kid?

One kid who is only home half the day. Oh boo, hoo, hoo.

+1
I am a SAHM and I am taking care of 5 family members who are home - cooking, cleaning, laundry, eldercare and helping my twin HS students with college application process.
Nope, I did not do all of this menial work when I was a SAHM because I outsourced a bunch of stuff and was in a home manager role. With the pandemic I dare not outsource anything. So I am doing SAHM work and Tutoring/college counseling work, elder care and cleaning, laundry and cooking.

I think the problem with OP is that she is only capable of working from the office. With all the help and with taking care of only one child part time, I don't think she is in hell. Maybe she is just inefficient or low energy.

So the bolded is supposed to be some kind of part time work? Why list this nonsense. Are your children really slow?

You are the one who is inefficient and low energy.

Your situation is nowhere as stressful as OP's.

-SAHM

Wait, why are you married to this dude? Serious question.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is op sorry for ghosting. Kid stays home half day with me and then half day in a pod type arrangement. So I feel like morning through lunch is all me, then I drive him to “school”, then I get home and have a few uninterrupted work hours, and then pick kid up again and figure out dinner. Spouse breezes in from office like whatever. And sometimes spouse wfh but just walks himself off in front of computer like he who cannot be disturbed.

Wait. You only have one kid?

One kid who is only home half the day. Oh boo, hoo, hoo.

+1
I am a SAHM and I am taking care of 5 family members who are home - cooking, cleaning, laundry, eldercare and helping my twin HS students with college application process.
Nope, I did not do all of this menial work when I was a SAHM because I outsourced a bunch of stuff and was in a home manager role. With the pandemic I dare not outsource anything. So I am doing SAHM work and Tutoring/college counseling work, elder care and cleaning, laundry and cooking.

I think the problem with OP is that she is only capable of working from the office. With all the help and with taking care of only one child part time, I don't think she is in hell. Maybe she is just inefficient or low energy.

So, tell your husband he needs to step up. If he doesn't, stop doing certain things for him. If you don't wash his clothes he will literally run out of things to wear.

The millions of unemployed facing eviction and hunger would love to have your petty problems. You are working and have hired house cleaners. Stop whining and be grateful for your blessings!

Anonymous wrote:This is op sorry for ghosting. Kid stays home half day with me and then half day in a pod type arrangement. So I feel like morning through lunch is all me, then I drive him to “school”, then I get home and have a few uninterrupted work hours, and then pick kid up again and figure out dinner. Spouse breezes in from office like whatever. And sometimes spouse wfh but just walks himself off in front of computer like he who cannot be disturbed.

OP, people are being pretty unkind to you. Your annoyance is valid. Yes other people are in worse situations, but this isn't a "who is worse off in the pandemic competition" cause there are plenty of folks who would clean up in that category with way worse problems.

Your husband isn't pulling his weight. He may not even notice it, cause he still gets his 8 hours of work per day, so he doesn't know how hard it is to only get 4 before kid goes to sleep--and be constantly interrupted, too. So, if you can, bring it up with him gently, and not in the moment. And say that when he's WFH, he handles lunch and then brings the kid to the pod/does pickup. And if he WOH, he needs to do X, Y, Z. (Maybe it's prep kid's and your lunch before he goes... maybe it's pick up kid on his way home, maybe he's responsible for all dinner planning and prep, idk). And maybe specify that he will WFH 2-3x/week so that he can do kid lunches/drop off/pick up.

And then (since he needs to contribute more generally), assign him OTHER tasks, too. Things he can do in the evening that you would be doing. Otherwise he's free to leave slack and you pick it up (cause hey, the dishes are in the sink and you can't just ignore them forever).

Why is it this way OP? DH and I both work but he makes twice as much. Still... I take the kids to school and he picks them up. He deals with bills, repairs, car, etc. I deal with the kids’ schedule and DL when they were at home. I don’t think it’s equally divided and I think I do more, but it’s probably 65-35

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She probably had a nanny before. My nanny did all the laundry and took kids to activities but quit at the start of the pandemic.

My takeaway has been that the real hero of the WOHMuniverse was the nanny. All the talk about the working mom doing a "real job" and doing every thing a SAHM does was just a load of BS. Now without the nanny/School/Childcare...the whole house of cards is crashing down. And all of the husbands seem to be good for nothing. Why is that?

All that talk was in your head.

It takes a village to raise a child. Nannies/daycares/baby sitters/housekeepers/cleaning ladies/tutors are essential. Every reasonable person admits this. If you are hanging out with crazies who do not, that is on you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is op sorry for ghosting. Kid stays home half day with me and then half day in a pod type arrangement. So I feel like morning through lunch is all me, then I drive him to “school”, then I get home and have a few uninterrupted work hours, and then pick kid up again and figure out dinner. Spouse breezes in from office like whatever. And sometimes spouse wfh but just walks himself off in front of computer like he who cannot be disturbed.

Wait. You only have one kid?

One kid who is only home half the day. Oh boo, hoo, hoo.