Be glad she’s asking you. You can now give her perspective and ways to think about healthy eating and a healthy relationship with food. Having now been through a year with a child who developed anorexia - and yes as many point out so many American have unhealthy or disordered eating - you can help provide info and models foe her that get her away from the traps of a life of calorie counting and fear and diet culture and restrictions or over eating. The “ideal” is to focus on balanced food, normalized portions and no “never” (or red) foods. If you need models, even if your kid doesn’t have an eating disorder, the book How to Nourish Your Child Through an Eating Disorder has good models and advice on what to say to different issues. It’s based on a healthy plate and snacks (healthy being mental Heath too and not restrictive of types of foods or treats etc).
The FEAST-Ed.org site someone mentioned above is modern thinking. Anything Maudsley is modern thinking. Anything focusing on control or even the cursory Mayo Clinic things have outdated ideas and practices. Almost anyone you talk to with info about eating disorders that’s more than 10 years ago is out of date. The practices now are basically around CBT - building skills, thoughts and practices.

Asking about it is better than just consuming it without knowing what in the world you are eating (or being fed).

Show her how to research healthy issues but emphasize health consumption for healthy growth NOT for image reasons.

Anonymous wrote:I agree that we need to be on the lookout for unhealthy relationships to food and emerging eating disorders. However, inappropriately large portions and unhealthy servings are pervasive. Knowing about calories is useful. Trying to redirect an interest in calories, as if numbers should be taboo, with vague woohoo or dumbing down sounds exceedingly creepy to me. Also disrespectful.

This. Look around. Most Americans have disordered eating, but somehow overeating is acceptable. I don’t get it.

I caution against watching her like a hawk. If she senses that you are watching everything she eats or doesn’t eat, then she will start to see it all as shameful and hide her behavior. No one likes to feel like they are being watched with every bite they take. That, IMO, is how you cause a person to have an eating disorder.

I would focus urge her to focus on portion size and on ensuring she gets the basics of what she needs. Most Americans get way more protein than what they actually need, including kids.

But eating shouldn’t be about guilt. I think it should be taught to the same way sex is. You need to be responsible and protect your body, but it’s also part of the enjoyment of life.

Just read the previous comments, seems like someone else's kid got the "only eat 1000 calories lesson" in FCPS.

They absolutely learn about calories in school - and most of what is taught is terrible and reflects extremely dated thinking about food. In FCPS ES (pre-COVID), my daughters came home talking about how ice cream was a "red" or "bad" food and that they were only supposed to eat 1000 calories a day. Then they started asking about the calories in different foods. I am a recovered anorexic/bulimic and this set off all kinds of red flags. I told them that FCPS's nutrition curriculum is incompetent (it is) and not to listen to the teachers, and pulled them out of the nutrition unit.

We teach them to focus on protein, vegetables, and complex carbohydrates; to eat whole foods; to avoid too much sugar; and to listen to their bodies to see if they are still hungry. Ice cream is available whenever, and there are many times they don't want it at all.