Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 19:53     Subject: missing school as a consequence for screaming all morning
Anonymous wrote:Son is 5.5. No special needs. This has been an on going issue for a month or so now. The mornings are BRUTAL. He loves, loves, loves school. But his morning behavior is terrible: refusal to put on shoes, hates getting dressed. He just...screams. “This is boring, this is the worst part of the day”. We’ve tried charts and pictures, strict, kindness, etc.

He didn’t get ready in time at all today, so we decided to follow through and husband took son 2 to school and son 1 is home now. All day. Which seems like a punishment for me, but he’ll spend most of his day in his room because I have stuff to do.

He’s obviously very angry...mostly with us for making him miss school and being the meanest parents ever.

Negative attention seeking? I’m lost.

I guess I’m asking for...advice? Company?


He screams because you have allowed him to do so. One scream and his bottom would have felt the back of my hand. He would have stopped screaming and gone to school.

You are his parent, not his friend.


Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 19:27     Subject: missing school as a consequence for screaming all morning
Anonymous wrote:This makes no sense. It’s like punishing a child by taking away vegetables or dentist visits.


What? She said her kid *loves* school. Bet he doesn't love vegetables or the dentist.
Mytimemarie
Post 12/17/2020 18:01     Subject: missing school as a consequence for screaming all morning
Anonymous wrote:Son is 5.5. No special needs. This has been an on going issue for a month or so now. The mornings are BRUTAL. He loves, loves, loves school. But his morning behavior is terrible: refusal to put on shoes, hates getting dressed. He just...screams. “This is boring, this is the worst part of the day”. We’ve tried charts and pictures, strict, kindness, etc.

He didn’t get ready in time at all today, so we decided to follow through and husband took son 2 to school and son 1 is home now. All day. Which seems like a punishment for me, but he’ll spend most of his day in his room because I have stuff to do.

He’s obviously very angry...mostly with us for making him miss school and being the meanest parents ever.

Negative attention seeking? I’m lost.

I guess I’m asking for...advice? Company?

Have you framed it to him like HE is making the choice not to go to school?
He can't go naked, so if he chooses not to get dressed, then he is choosing to stay home. Get excited when he doesn't get dressed...like you feel like he is choosing to stay home with you.
When he freaks out about not going to school, act confused..."but you didn't get dressed so we knew that you didn't want to go to school".
Just an idea.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 12:32     Subject: missing school as a consequence for screaming all morning
If you're sure he's getting enough sleep, have you considered getting him up earlier? Give him more time to work through all this?

My younger DS just took forever to transition from sleep to fully-awake. If we rushed him in the morning, it was miserable for all of us. We started waking him up 30 minutes earlier, snuggling in bed with him, reading with him for a few minutes, and help him get dressed. If a tantrum started, we had time to walk away and let him reset. It really helped take the edge off the mornings.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 12:26     Subject: missing school as a consequence for screaming all morning
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kid has been changing into clean T-shirt, sweats, and undies at night and sleeping in tomorrow’s clothes since he was that age. It does no harm. Why not let him try that?


He sleeps very hot. He usually wear underwear and a t shirt to bed.


So he can sleep in clean undies and clean T-shirt and just pull on pa at or shorts in he morning. Would he really leave the house in his underwear? I’d actually let him try - he’ll get his pants on before leaving the car for school! Look, something is going on if he likes school but screams about getting dressed, which is essential for going to school. He is clearly unable to tell you what is wrong but something is. Maybe clothes irritate him (shoes used to make me lose my mind when I was a kid - I can still feel the panic of enclosing my feet). Maybe he loves school but he also has some worries about it. In general this kind of screaming is a symptom not of a brat but of a kid who is unable to do what he knows he needs to do. Anxiety takes over and the only outlet is screaming and tantrums. Assuming you can’t figure out what is really wrong, disrupting the routine is the next best thing. I’d let him sleep in clean T-shirt and underwear and then shrug about the clothes. “You are leaving the house in your underwear? Interesting. Hop in the car.” Leave pants, shoes, and socks in the backseat for him. If he gets INTO the school building still undressed take him to the bathroom and ask him to dress. If he won’t, take him home and call your pediatrician.


This is excellent advice