Anonymous
Post 12/07/2020 14:57     Subject: Re:Drinking 1-2 glasses of wine a night. Is this normal?

Having 1-2 glasses of wine a night is perfectly normal, and assuming that you're not a super tiny person, not an unhealthy amount of alcohol.

However - feeling like alcohol is the "only way" you can unwind is a problem. You have an alcohol dependency.

If I were you, I would brainstorm a quick list of other potential ways to unwind (sex, board game, bath, book, husband gives you a massage, yoga, going for a walk, etc). Come up with at least 8-10 of them. Then pick one day a week (say, Tuesday), and promise yourself that for the next two months, you'll have ZERO wine on Tuesday, and that instead, each week you will try just one of the things on your list. Then, on Wednesdays, jot down a quick note as to whether it was helpful/awful/fine but not great.

Then re-evaluate in two months. If Tuesdays were torture, or if you couldn't do it, you have a problem, and need to talk to someone.

If they were fine, just not great, and you found at least one or two things that made it pretty solid, then great. Try and keep up with those one or two things instead of drinking once or twice a week, and pat yourself on your back for surviving the little kid years however you can.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2020 14:41     Subject: Drinking 1-2 glasses of wine a night. Is this normal?

The absolute best thing is to remove the cause of the anxiety so there is no reason to “take the edge off.” Like, find a way to get truly restorative breaks during the day. Brene Brown has written a lot about this.

But if you really can’t find a way to remove the cause of the anxiety, just do your best.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2020 14:27     Subject: Re:Drinking 1-2 glasses of wine a night. Is this normal?

A glass or two is likely ok, as long as you can keep it there. The research continues to prove this is not healthy, especially for woman. I think your primary concern should be to make sure 1-2 doesn’t become 2-3 and so on. My sister was exactly like you. Over a 10 year period, she became a horrible alcoholic. I won’t go into the devastation it’s caused her family but urge you to keep an eye on yourself to make sure this ritual doesn’t become a habit or worse. You might try a dry January to see how that goes.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2020 14:14     Subject: Drinking 1-2 glasses of wine a night. Is this normal?

I don’t, but i have several friends that do. 30s with kids
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2020 14:12     Subject: Drinking 1-2 glasses of wine a night. Is this normal?

Is anyone else finding they can't finish a single drink since the pandemic started? Because of a high risk family member I'm pulling double duty with kiddo and work. If I drink, I'm asleep before I get halfway through the beer.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2020 14:03     Subject: Drinking 1-2 glasses of wine a night. Is this normal?

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this site really brings out the tee totalers. I definitely have had periods of time where I have 1-2 glasses of wine every night. Really enjoy it. Then when I want to lose weight or just feel healthier, I stop.

I think there are plenty of people that do this. Just not many on DCUM.


I think it is children of alcoholics
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2020 14:01     Subject: Drinking 1-2 glasses of wine a night. Is this normal?

It's not healthy, but I sympathize. I have never been a regular drinker. I've always just done maybe a glass of wine or cocktail once a week while eating dinner out. Well, during the pandemic, somehow I have become someone who needs a drink at least multiple times a week. I have a 4 yo and 19 mo.

Same thing with coffee, actually. I rarely drank coffee before the pandemic. I actually went through a period of being totally caffeine free even with a toddler and baby. Well, since the pandemic, I need a coffee every morning and sometimes one in the afternoon.

I find it hard to take care of these children all day without substances....
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2020 13:55     Subject: Drinking 1-2 glasses of wine a night. Is this normal?

Lordy. This escalated quickly. Everybody take a step back and keep some perspective. We are living in EXTRAORDINARY times. A freaking pandemic. You are parenting 24/7, while working and have a brief period of time in the evenings to relax. Give yourself grace. You seem pretty self-aware. Keep an eye on the habit and keep re-assessing as a more normal life resumes in the coming year. Otherwise, enjoy your glass of wine and some peace at night!
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2020 13:40     Subject: Drinking 1-2 glasses of wine a night. Is this normal?

I’m 35. My mom is an alcoholic. She’d drink until she fell asleep at the kitchen table. She’s driven drunk when I unexpectedly needed her to pick me up at night. She couldn’t stop if she wanted to. One glass while talking with hubs at night because you like the ritual seems fine. Two glasses every night seems like a bit much and I personally would gain weight if I drank that much. Maybe see if you can easily limit to one glass most nights. If you find it hard to cut back that might be a warning sign. I will share that I rarely drink but got a wine advent calendar this year and have been having .5-1 glass a day since thanksgiving and am worried I might be enjoying it too much. I’ll planning to go back to my usual habits in Jan
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2020 13:40     Subject: Drinking 1-2 glasses of wine a night. Is this normal?

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this site really brings out the tee totalers. I definitely have had periods of time where I have 1-2 glasses of wine every night. Really enjoy it. Then when I want to lose weight or just feel healthier, I stop.

I think there are plenty of people that do this. Just not many on DCUM.


+1

Literally almost everyone I know drinks multiple nights a week, if not daily - myself included. If I feel like I am looking forward to it *too* much, lose weight, or just generally need to cut back, I'll usually do 2-4 weeks dry. Right now I am only drinking on weekends just for health and sleep reasons, but I really don't feel like it's a big deal if I do have a glass of wine or two with dinner on weeknights too.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2020 13:37     Subject: Drinking 1-2 glasses of wine a night. Is this normal?

I’m Italian and French and shaking my head. A glass of wine a day is not a problem, provided the glass size is not a bottle. Does the bottle last you at least three days? You’re not over drinking. And no, I’m not an alcoholic- I almost never drink at all because it never sat well with me. My parents have had a glass of wine with dinner or after dinner every day and that’s it. They do have it to “relax after dinner”. No one is drunk or passing out. This is normal in many cultures.

Only you know OP what you’re worried about. If you read in a book somewhere that all alcohol is bad and if you drink at all you’re an alcoholic, that’s crap. If you don’t like what is happening when you drink or you worry when you can’t drink, then you might have a problem.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2020 13:24     Subject: Drinking 1-2 glasses of wine a night. Is this normal?

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this site really brings out the tee totalers. I definitely have had periods of time where I have 1-2 glasses of wine every night. Really enjoy it. Then when I want to lose weight or just feel healthier, I stop.

I think there are plenty of people that do this. Just not many on DCUM.


This thread is very interesting to me. I think so much of someone's relationship and thoughts towards alcohol have to do with your background and how you grew up.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2020 13:03     Subject: Drinking 1-2 glasses of wine a night. Is this normal?

I fell into this trap too, OP. I wasn't worried I was becoming an alcoholic but I was worried that it was an unhealthy (and expensive) habit, and I wasn't getting good sleep. I switched to hot tea - I put the kettle on when DH takes DD up to bed and clean up while the water heats. It's still kind of a ritual so it marks the "baby is down/grownup time" line for me, and it's less concerning from a health perspective.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2020 13:02     Subject: Drinking 1-2 glasses of wine a night. Is this normal?

I make my own hooch, and only drink what I make. If I dont make it, I dont drink it. No alcoholic is willing to do that much work. It maintains discipline.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2020 13:01     Subject: Drinking 1-2 glasses of wine a night. Is this normal?

I feel like this site really brings out the tee totalers. I definitely have had periods of time where I have 1-2 glasses of wine every night. Really enjoy it. Then when I want to lose weight or just feel healthier, I stop.

I think there are plenty of people that do this. Just not many on DCUM.