Anonymous
Post 11/28/2020 22:18     Subject: Do you say something when someone uses a lot of profanity around children?
Suddenly reminded of the time, when standing with my toddler in a bus shelter, a man who was smoking a joint suggested my child and I move. His secondhand weed smoke wasn’t good for the baby, he thought.

Anyway it’s not the job of the world to conform to my preferences.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2020 22:12     Subject: Do you say something when someone uses a lot of profanity around children?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would be too chicken, but profanity really, really bothers me. It’s inherently rude, which now seems to be our culture’s thing. Drives me bonkers.


I am a pretty consistent profanity user. G-d, fck, mo-fo, but I also hold doors. Offer to walk people to theirs cars with my umbrella if they dont have one. Bring my older neighbors trash can onto her porch most weeks. My almost 3 year is very polite kid. He consistently says thank you, bless you, youre welcome, thank you for helping me, etc.

I assume I am judged by people like yourself who think its rude, but it is my vice of choice and at the end of the day, it doesnt endanger anyone.


Hmm..yeah just because it's your "vice of choice" doesn't mean it's ok. Even in public with just adults around, it's annoying when someone uses too many cuss words. Its just etiquette, basic civic sense to be decent in front of others, kids and adults, unless you are with company that is ok with it.



You need a medal for holding doors and helping neighbors? Your 3 year old might be polite right now but will also be the one that teaches the whole class words that they are too young to understand and then there are 20 families having conversations with the teacher and kids about why they are inappropriate. So, go ahead and think no one is being endangered and there are plenty like you and your kid who are a pain to deal politely with and give the rest of us an indication of which kid and families in the class to avoid having playdates with.
Not me^^^

OMG seriously. Holier than thou rolllling through. While I agree that cursing crazy and loudly in a closed public space in unacceptable, I am saying that the occasional f** when you stub your toe shouldnt equal this type of reaction from people. I bring up the holding doors thing because people seem to think that cursing means you aren't a good person. There's no room for nuance anymore with some of you people. And stop threatening my kid with social isolation as a threat to change my behavior. Your mommy wars are worse than any cursing. You use your own children as weapons as a way to make other women feel small.


I am the poster at the top of this thread. The other posters you are replying to aren’t me. I just don’t have time to DCUM every day. I agree that one slip-up is different than purposely strewing them into your conversation. I think the idea is that cuss words were originally used to hurt people’s feelings. Now it’s become an identity signifier among some groups. So those people use them among themselves on a consistent basis, and aren’t offended. However, some people don’t hear those words often, aren’t acclimated to cuss words, and still feel offended. It costs nothing to be nice. Why not?
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2020 18:54     Subject: Do you say something when someone uses a lot of profanity around children?
Anonymous wrote:I could, but it would be pretty awkward to have a conversation with myself. Particularly when I'm already busy talking to the kids.


Anonymous
Post 11/28/2020 10:24     Subject: Do you say something when someone uses a lot of profanity around children?
I could, but it would be pretty awkward to have a conversation with myself. Particularly when I'm already busy talking to the kids.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2020 01:24     Subject: Do you say something when someone uses a lot of profanity around children?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is it a waiting room for a kid-based place, like a ballet school or pediatrician's office, or is it a waiting room for like a restaurant or law firm?

If it's a kid-based place, I would say something. But I'm super confrontational.


Yes, I think location matters. In my neighborhood, people bring their kids to the beer garden. I consider that an adult-centric venue, and would ignore anyone who asked me not to swear there. If you're hanging around waiting for Music Together to begin, then by all means remind people that little pitchers have big ears.


Pre-covid, I was at a local sports pub where they served brunch with the game. A family of 4 came in and sat at a high top. At some point an obnoxiously loud patron belched a few choice words. The parents seemed appalled. The drunk realized their reaction and kindly apologized, but I was more annoyed with the poor judgment of the parents than I was annoyed with the profanity bleating drunk. This wasn't outside in a patio area. It was literally at the bar. No kids allowed. So yeah, location certainly comes into play.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2020 00:47     Subject: Do you say something when someone uses a lot of profanity around children?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No of course not - why in the world would I think I can control what someone else says. Its my job to teach my child what is appropriate behavior and why (use it as a lesson!) not to control what other people do


+1

You can't control other people, and the sooner that is learned, the better, OP. You can control your reaction. Period.


+2
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2020 23:17     Subject: Do you say something when someone uses a lot of profanity around children?
I would remove myself and my kid (tell the receptionist you'll be waiting in the hall) if possible, distract if not possible, and if my kid notices I'd use it as a learning experience to tell her/him that you don't like those rude words and don't use them around others.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2020 17:35     Subject: Do you say something when someone uses a lot of profanity around children?
No. I am not the speech police and neither are you.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2020 08:47     Subject: Do you say something when someone uses a lot of profanity around children?
Anonymous wrote:I was in a waiting room with my 4 year old and other children, and a man was speaking to his friend in 75% profanity (“F***** sh*ts motherf****...”). My child repeats everything he hears, so I just pulled him close and started chatting away about inane things he’s excited about so that his attention would be focused on Spider-Man/lunchables/his toy. The guy wouldn’t quit and nobody else seemed bothered that children were listening. Would you say something?


No, because the only thing worse than using prolific profanity around children is adults correcting other adults. Who do you think you are? You don’t get to regulate how others behave.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2020 08:43     Subject: Do you say something when someone uses a lot of profanity around children?
No I wouldn't say anything. I have said something to tweens/teens loitering at the school playground while my young children are there playing, yelling profanities at each other- partly because if that were my child I would hope another adult would correct them. But I wouldn't say anything to an adult stranger.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2020 07:59     Subject: Do you say something when someone uses a lot of profanity around children?
Anonymous wrote:The term thought police comes to mind.

Why must we raise our children to be so rigid? I keep a civil tongue around my kids. I've also taught my kids they aren't to use foul language. I've also taught my kids early on not to be little parrots and if an adult is having a conversation and not directly talking to them they need to tune it out. At least pretend not to listen.


I did once correct my friend for using foul language around children. We were at a playground. Beyond a child centered place like a playground or daycare, I cant imagine correcting anyone else. The world doesn't revolve around your child and its best your child understand that. Nothing is worse than the 20 year old who feels everyone should act and think as they do.


Publicly cursing and in the vicinity of children is by definition not a thought crime, so thought police doesn't really come into play here.

Still don't think OP should say anything.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2020 07:35     Subject: Do you say something when someone uses a lot of profanity around children?
They’re not “adult words” - they’re trashy words that exhibit low class and general disrespect for decency. Don’t be those people.