Anonymous
Post 11/01/2020 15:26     Subject: Re:Good/bad coaches - development and ethical behavior
Anonymous wrote:
I don't think that PP is saying he tells the kid he did the right thing when he did the wrong thing, but compliments some other aspect of play.

Maybe the player loses the ball due to a passing it straight to the opposition. But it took a lot of hustle to get there in the first place to get the ball. You could tell the child, "Way to get there." "Good run."

I don't think anyone is screaming great pass when the pass goes out or flying straight to someone on the other team.


I disagree. No kid should be chewing out a teammate, and a coach or parent should be correcting that. But unless the kids are U9s and U10s, they know when they messed up, and don't want to hear false compliments. It is totally fine to be silent, it is not always necessary to speak, unless you intend to talk to the mean child's parents one on one about appropriate behavior afterwards. Don't say something fake to the kids, they are kids, not idiots.


Totally wrong Teammates should police teammates and hold each other accountable. It not only shows leadership but always means more coming from a teammate. It shows the players care and want to set a standard for everyone to play up too. The problem is these kids are so coddled at home and parents have the don't yell at my kid mentality. This is what is keeping them from reaching their full potential.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2020 15:16     Subject: Good/bad coaches - development and ethical behavior
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Good system. How hard is it to get on a team for Arlington?


Hard.

But that's not the point.

I used Arlington as an example because some people are suggesting that limiting playing time is justifiable when things get very competitive at a high level and older age groups. And my point was that the (arguably) best teams in northern VA, playing at the highest level, do not find it necessary to do this.

If Arlington can provide at least 50% playing time for all players in DA and now ECNL where their teams are highly successful, why is any other club justified in not doing so?


Not hard at all for any of the 3-6 teams in an age group. The top ECNL teams/ DA in older age groups have a lot of players from other Clubs and that is more difficult. Somebody on here likes to pump the sh*t out of Arlington. We are here because we live here and we have seen better or similar soccer in other Clubs.


I know Arlington has several players on their second teams that are “part time” on their top teams (GA/ECNL). In the rare event that one of them is actually invited to play with top team are they guaranteed to play half the game? I know DA had certain rules, but Arlington is no longer in the DA, do they still follow DA rules?
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2020 13:26     Subject: Good/bad coaches - development and ethical behavior
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Good system. How hard is it to get on a team for Arlington?


Hard.

But that's not the point.

I used Arlington as an example because some people are suggesting that limiting playing time is justifiable when things get very competitive at a high level and older age groups. And my point was that the (arguably) best teams in northern VA, playing at the highest level, do not find it necessary to do this.

If Arlington can provide at least 50% playing time for all players in DA and now ECNL where their teams are highly successful, why is any other club justified in not doing so?


Not hard at all for any of the 3-6 teams in an age group. The top ECNL teams/ DA in older age groups have a lot of players from other Clubs and that is more difficult. Somebody on here likes to pump the sh*t out of Arlington. We are here because we live here and we have seen better or similar soccer in other Clubs.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2020 12:20     Subject: Good/bad coaches - development and ethical behavior
^By clearing I meant kicking it out.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2020 12:19     Subject: Good/bad coaches - development and ethical behavior
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Good effort. Bad luck. Those are things you can say instead of "great kick" when it really wasn't.

Attended one of these games with parents on the other team cheering for everything and I felt bad for the kids. This is for an an age when the kids know enough to know it was not a good kick!


Once the kids reach that age you don't have to feel bad for them. I promise you by that time the kids are perfectly capable of
(a) ignoring the parents
(b) discussing amongst themselves whose parents are the noisiest / biggest idiots.

On my daughters' team they had a meeting at one point and the kids decided together whose parents needed to be told to shut up. I thought that was pretty funny.


Except they looked mortified. The worst was when a kid kept "clearing" the ball on half with the opposing team's goal and no opponents in sight and some parents were screaming and clapping and saying way to go. The score was something like 1-0 and the other team was winning.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2020 11:11     Subject: Good/bad coaches - development and ethical behavior
Anonymous wrote:Good effort. Bad luck. Those are things you can say instead of "great kick" when it really wasn't.


"Good idea" is a good one too - if applicable.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2020 11:10     Subject: Good/bad coaches - development and ethical behavior
Anonymous wrote:Good effort. Bad luck. Those are things you can say instead of "great kick" when it really wasn't.

Attended one of these games with parents on the other team cheering for everything and I felt bad for the kids. This is for an an age when the kids know enough to know it was not a good kick!


Once the kids reach that age you don't have to feel bad for them. I promise you by that time the kids are perfectly capable of
(a) ignoring the parents
(b) discussing amongst themselves whose parents are the noisiest / biggest idiots.

On my daughters' team they had a meeting at one point and the kids decided together whose parents needed to be told to shut up. I thought that was pretty funny.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2020 10:42     Subject: Good/bad coaches - development and ethical behavior
Good effort. Bad luck. Those are things you can say instead of "great kick" when it really wasn't.

Attended one of these games with parents on the other team cheering for everything and I felt bad for the kids. This is for an an age when the kids know enough to know it was not a good kick!
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2020 10:39     Subject: Re:Good/bad coaches - development and ethical behavior
Anonymous wrote:
I don't think that PP is saying he tells the kid he did the right thing when he did the wrong thing, but compliments some other aspect of play.

Maybe the player loses the ball due to a passing it straight to the opposition. But it took a lot of hustle to get there in the first place to get the ball. You could tell the child, "Way to get there." "Good run."

I don't think anyone is screaming great pass when the pass goes out or flying straight to someone on the other team.


I disagree. No kid should be chewing out a teammate, and a coach or parent should be correcting that. But unless the kids are U9s and U10s, they know when they messed up, and don't want to hear false compliments. It is totally fine to be silent, it is not always necessary to speak, unless you intend to talk to the mean child's parents one on one about appropriate behavior afterwards. Don't say something fake to the kids, they are kids, not idiots.


Agreed. I do think there is a role for watching out for a kid who screwed up and/or is lacking in confidence and cheering them the next time they do something right though.


That seems like a good approach to me too.


+1
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2020 10:27     Subject: Good/bad coaches - development and ethical behavior
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't think that PP is saying he tells the kid he did the right thing when he did the wrong thing, but compliments some other aspect of play.

Maybe the player loses the ball due to a passing it straight to the opposition. But it took a lot of hustle to get there in the first place to get the ball. You could tell the child, "Way to get there." "Good run."

I don't think anyone is screaming great pass when the pass goes out or flying straight to someone on the other team.


Been there, seen it. Player left team with a disconnect from reality caused by coaching staff’s “way to go”. You can imagine what happened to them on next team.


It’s so frustrating hearing parents yell out “great kick” when a player just kicks it hard aimlessly to the other team when no one was around her when she kicked it.


Yes indeed. Nothing you can do about it either. In my experience this is limited to low to mid level girls' teams, but it is indeed common there. It was often followed up by remarks about the other team not being able to score from "there", to which I occasionally used to reply that the other team couldn't score without the ball either. This was always met with a brief puzzled look before the original author of the remark would turn away and yell "great kick" again as his daughter hoofed the ball in the general direction of an opposing midfielder once more.

Still one must bear these oppressive burdens with fortitude and a smile. There are worse sins than not knowing anything about soccer and excessive and unjustified pride in the achievements of one's child.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2020 10:21     Subject: Re:Good/bad coaches - development and ethical behavior
I don't think that PP is saying he tells the kid he did the right thing when he did the wrong thing, but compliments some other aspect of play.

Maybe the player loses the ball due to a passing it straight to the opposition. But it took a lot of hustle to get there in the first place to get the ball. You could tell the child, "Way to get there." "Good run."

I don't think anyone is screaming great pass when the pass goes out or flying straight to someone on the other team.


I disagree. No kid should be chewing out a teammate, and a coach or parent should be correcting that. But unless the kids are U9s and U10s, they know when they messed up, and don't want to hear false compliments. It is totally fine to be silent, it is not always necessary to speak, unless you intend to talk to the mean child's parents one on one about appropriate behavior afterwards. Don't say something fake to the kids, they are kids, not idiots.


Agreed. I do think there is a role for watching out for a kid who screwed up and/or is lacking in confidence and cheering them the next time they do something right though.


That seems like a good approach to me too.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2020 10:17     Subject: Good/bad coaches - development and ethical behavior
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't think that PP is saying he tells the kid he did the right thing when he did the wrong thing, but compliments some other aspect of play.

Maybe the player loses the ball due to a passing it straight to the opposition. But it took a lot of hustle to get there in the first place to get the ball. You could tell the child, "Way to get there." "Good run."

I don't think anyone is screaming great pass when the pass goes out or flying straight to someone on the other team.


Been there, seen it. Player left team with a disconnect from reality caused by coaching staff’s “way to go”. You can imagine what happened to them on next team.


It’s so frustrating hearing parents yell out “great kick” when a player just kicks it hard aimlessly to the other team when no one was around her when she kicked it.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2020 09:22     Subject: Good/bad coaches - development and ethical behavior
Anonymous wrote:I don't think that PP is saying he tells the kid he did the right thing when he did the wrong thing, but compliments some other aspect of play.

Maybe the player loses the ball due to a passing it straight to the opposition. But it took a lot of hustle to get there in the first place to get the ball. You could tell the child, "Way to get there." "Good run."

I don't think anyone is screaming great pass when the pass goes out or flying straight to someone on the other team.


Been there, seen it. Player left team with a disconnect from reality caused by coaching staff’s “way to go”. You can imagine what happened to them on next team.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2020 21:32     Subject: Re:Good/bad coaches - development and ethical behavior
Anonymous wrote:
I don't think that PP is saying he tells the kid he did the right thing when he did the wrong thing, but compliments some other aspect of play.

Maybe the player loses the ball due to a passing it straight to the opposition. But it took a lot of hustle to get there in the first place to get the ball. You could tell the child, "Way to get there." "Good run."

I don't think anyone is screaming great pass when the pass goes out or flying straight to someone on the other team.


I disagree. No kid should be chewing out a teammate, and a coach or parent should be correcting that. But unless the kids are U9s and U10s, they know when they messed up, and don't want to hear false compliments. It is totally fine to be silent, it is not always necessary to speak, unless you intend to talk to the mean child's parents one on one about appropriate behavior afterwards. Don't say something fake to the kids, they are kids, not idiots.


Agreed. I do think there is a role for watching out for a kid who screwed up and/or is lacking in confidence and cheering them the next time they do something right though.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2020 19:52     Subject: Re:Good/bad coaches - development and ethical behavior
I don't think that PP is saying he tells the kid he did the right thing when he did the wrong thing, but compliments some other aspect of play.

Maybe the player loses the ball due to a passing it straight to the opposition. But it took a lot of hustle to get there in the first place to get the ball. You could tell the child, "Way to get there." "Good run."

I don't think anyone is screaming great pass when the pass goes out or flying straight to someone on the other team.


I disagree. No kid should be chewing out a teammate, and a coach or parent should be correcting that. But unless the kids are U9s and U10s, they know when they messed up, and don't want to hear false compliments. It is totally fine to be silent, it is not always necessary to speak, unless you intend to talk to the mean child's parents one on one about appropriate behavior afterwards. Don't say something fake to the kids, they are kids, not idiots.