Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses i nher eare insane. Call the police because you don't like them? Your DH won't go along with trespassing so that's out as an option.

You sound biploar.

Maybe read the thread before you comment? OP says they have a history of forcing themselves into the house. Why wouldn't OP call the police if there are hostile people trying to force their way into her house?

I'm still trying to figure out how they force themselves in. Like physically breaking a window or door? Or is OP opening the door to them and they try tomget inside. A lot of this seems to stem from OPs lack or a spine.

This is what I assume is happening. Hence the advice to leave the house entirely.

Which one? Breaking doors and windows or just walking in when the door is opened to them? Either way it’s not OK and yes of course you can call the police if somebody’s trying to force their way into your house but don’t open the door to begin with.

Anonymous wrote:If you talk to the police distance the relationship. So you would say 'my husbands parents' instead of 'my inlaws'.

My kids have an abusive dad, to police I say 'my ex' instead of 'their dad'.

Closer relationship titling can be more easily dismissed imo. 'Oh but it's your inlaws'. A degree of separation helps.

Also, I would be more specific than crazy, crazy can mean all kinds if things. Use descriptors like threatening and aggressive.

IME, with a good officer this doesn't matter, they will ask the right questions and take it seriously. With others it matters.

All the best op. You absolutely deserve to feel safe and peaceful in your own home.

OP, different poster here, bumping up the advice above. The above is EXCELLENT advice on how to speak to law enforcement in this situation. Do NOT use terms like "crazy" or you are far likelier to be dismissed (in their minds even if they do not brush you off verbally) as the crazy one. You should remain very calm and collected but firm and brief--do not go on and on. Mention that "The last time they came to our house, we were gone, and our neighbors reported that they sat on our porch daily for four days." Note that you shouldn't say "my parents told us they were on the porch." Like PP says -- distance the relationships when you talk about this to the police.

I'd write out a list or script of what you want to say. Then cut it so it's even shorter. Keep to the point. You are asking for extra drive-bys so there is a clear police presence in the neighborhood when these relatives show up.

Anonymous wrote:The responses i nher eare insane. Call the police because you don't like them? Your DH won't go along with trespassing so that's out as an option.

You sound biploar.

No, OP does not "sound bipolar". Poor reading comprehension or just trolling?

If you talk to the police distance the relationship. So you would say 'my husbands parents' instead of 'my inlaws'.

My kids have an abusive dad, to police I say 'my ex' instead of 'their dad'.

Closer relationship titling can be more easily dismissed imo. 'Oh but it's your inlaws'. A degree of separation helps.

Also, I would be more specific than crazy, crazy can mean all kinds if things. Use descriptors like threatening and aggressive.

IME, with a good officer this doesn't matter, they will ask the right questions and take it seriously. With others it matters.

All the best op. You absolutely deserve to feel safe and peaceful in your own home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses i nher eare insane. Call the police because you don't like them? Your DH won't go along with trespassing so that's out as an option.

You sound biploar.

Maybe read the thread before you comment? OP says they have a history of forcing themselves into the house. Why wouldn't OP call the police if there are hostile people trying to force their way into her house?

I'm still trying to figure out how they force themselves in. Like physically breaking a window or door? Or is OP opening the door to them and they try tomget inside. A lot of this seems to stem from OPs lack or a spine.

This is what I assume is happening. Hence the advice to leave the house entirely.

I’m curious why/how your in laws have access to your parents?

Anonymous wrote:Let your husband tell them (in writing) they are not to show up. If they show up he will call the police to have them removed from the property for trespassing (thus the reason for the document). They are trying to get to OP. So, OP should not engage and make sure husband outlines clear boundaries. How long do you think they will sit in a car in front of your house? Think that it most you would have to worry about. Would not leave the house or spend time elsewhere. Would not pretend you are not home. Would be a grey rock and ignore them. Then go about your life. Let them find someone else to bug. If they don't get a rise out of you then they will need to find someone else besides your family to bug.

He did! He wrote them that clearly in an email and copied me. Apparently, they plan to come and will pound on the door and sit on our front step until we let them in.

From advice of another poster, I now have also written and told them that they are not welcome.

I wish it was as easy as you've said. I've been a grey rock for over 10 years -- this is probably the first time I've written to them at all in at least a year and I haven't seen them in at least 5 years. They refuse to go away. DH's siblings will not see them either and they still bother them, too.

Let your husband tell them (in writing) they are not to show up. If they show up he will call the police to have them removed from the property for trespassing (thus the reason for the document). They are trying to get to OP. So, OP should not engage and make sure husband outlines clear boundaries. How long do you think they will sit in a car in front of your house? Think that it most you would have to worry about. Would not leave the house or spend time elsewhere. Would not pretend you are not home. Would be a grey rock and ignore them. Then go about your life. Let them find someone else to bug. If they don't get a rise out of you then they will need to find someone else besides your family to bug.

OP are in some type of position where you are afraid to call the police? You don't have to say what it is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses i nher eare insane. Call the police because you don't like them? Your DH won't go along with trespassing so that's out as an option.

You sound biploar.

Maybe read the thread before you comment? OP says they have a history of forcing themselves into the house. Why wouldn't OP call the police if there are hostile people trying to force their way into her house?

I'm still trying to figure out how they force themselves in. Like physically breaking a window or door? Or is OP opening the door to them and they try tomget inside. A lot of this seems to stem from OPs lack or a spine.

Anonymous wrote:The responses i nher eare insane. Call the police because you don't like them? Your DH won't go along with trespassing so that's out as an option.

You sound biploar.

Maybe read the thread before you comment? OP says they have a history of forcing themselves into the house. Why wouldn't OP call the police if there are hostile people trying to force their way into her house?

The responses i nher eare insane. Call the police because you don't like them? Your DH won't go along with trespassing so that's out as an option.

You sound biploar.

Anonymous wrote:^ Me again. It's better to establish a file with the police sooner than later, so that if something really bad happens, the police will know that there is a history and are more likely to take rapid action.

Okay. Then I'll print off the email and walk over to the local station. that's not a big deal, I think.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think you've posted before.

Go to a friend's house for a few days. Leave extra strong locks on the doors. Notify the police about the situation and ask them to do drive bys.

+1

Also, as quickly as you can, get some cameras installed so you can see if they come to the house while you're gone. Be sure you have a system to record the video (not just a "live" camera only) because someday you might need a record of their "visits."

I might have but the last time they forced themselves to our house was over 3 years ago and we left -- we just went to a hotel in Va for the long weekend. We heard from my parents, who live nearby, that they were staying on our porch on and off for the four days, stalking us. Buy then we know the exact dates because they gave them to us.

I think I can pick up one of those recorder things at Costco. And save the recordings on my computer. But I'm also going to ask the police if they can drive by more often for the next two weeks. I'll just say that I have a crazy relative who keeps threatening to visit?

Anonymous wrote:OP I think you've posted before.

Go to a friend's house for a few days. Leave extra strong locks on the doors. Notify the police about the situation and ask them to do drive bys.

+1

Also, as quickly as you can, get some cameras installed so you can see if they come to the house while you're gone. Be sure you have a system to record the video (not just a "live" camera only) because someday you might need a record of their "visits."