Anonymous
10/11/2020 20:55
Subject: Husband doesn’t want a SAHM
Point is not if you can afford help. Even if you throw money, you are taking a risk if a person who is not bubbling with you provides care for you.
Many people are foregoing the help and doing the work themselves because they value their family members and they can afford to quit their jobs. As a result the burden is falling more and more on women in the family to provide this care. They can no longer outsource childcare, home care, eldercare.
Many people are foregoing the help and doing the work themselves because they value their family members and they can afford to quit their jobs. As a result the burden is falling more and more on women in the family to provide this care. They can no longer outsource childcare, home care, eldercare.
Anonymous
10/11/2020 20:53
Subject: Re:Husband doesn’t want a SAHM
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I understand staying at home when the kids are still little and don't go to school. But once they are elementary school age, what do you do all day?
Seriously? 1/4 of woman are quitting the workforce in the USA this year because of COVID and DL for school aged kids.
Women who are working from home due to COVID are quitting because they do not have childcare.
Women who had cleaning ladies and home care aides are quitting their jobs because they cannot outsource these chores.
Our household saw the easiest transition during COVID because I am at home. My kids are teens. While I have to do a lot more because everyone is home and need to be fed thrice a day, and I no longer have my twice a week cleaning lady - my family has had a very easy time. I would say that they are thriving because a lot of stressors are not there because I am at home.
Women are quitting their jobs to clean their house all day
Yes, for sure. I mean eldercare means taking care of the elderly and cleaning their homes. If they live with you it means taking care of them and having someone to clean their space. You know because they poop in their diapers or have pee accidents. Usually people had home care aides and cleaning people.
You sound so much like Hope Hicks, Ivanka and Melania. Eldercare does not mean what you think.
People like you need to learn how to think, and not think they can school people because they read an article. I specifically asked about quitting to clean house. Remove yourself from your UMC DC bubble, the vast majority of people dont have cleaning ladies and do elder care without getting an aide because they can't afford it . I cared for my elderly father so I know all about it, no cleaning service, it's what we poor Democrats do.
We took care of my MIL for a year and yes, I dealt with the accidents and much more. I couldn't safely leave her home alone. No aides, no cleaning service. That isn't UMC, that is upper class if you have aides and housekeepers.
So, without aides and housekeepers or nurses - because they can be asymptomatic infectors and no outside staff wants to bubble with you after quarantining for 14 days or a COVID test...many women are now doing the duty of caregivers to their elderly parents and ILs...which means that many are choosing to quit or drastically cut back on their professional careers to devote themselves to eldercare.
Anonymous
10/11/2020 20:51
Subject: Re:Husband doesn’t want a SAHM
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I understand staying at home when the kids are still little and don't go to school. But once they are elementary school age, what do you do all day?
Seriously? 1/4 of woman are quitting the workforce in the USA this year because of COVID and DL for school aged kids.
Women who are working from home due to COVID are quitting because they do not have childcare.
Women who had cleaning ladies and home care aides are quitting their jobs because they cannot outsource these chores.
Our household saw the easiest transition during COVID because I am at home. My kids are teens. While I have to do a lot more because everyone is home and need to be fed thrice a day, and I no longer have my twice a week cleaning lady - my family has had a very easy time. I would say that they are thriving because a lot of stressors are not there because I am at home.
Women are quitting their jobs to clean their house all day
Yes, for sure. I mean eldercare means taking care of the elderly and cleaning their homes. If they live with you it means taking care of them and having someone to clean their space. You know because they poop in their diapers or have pee accidents. Usually people had home care aides and cleaning people.
You sound so much like Hope Hicks, Ivanka and Melania. Eldercare does not mean what you think.
HHA should be covered by the parent's insurance plan.
Bitch, not everyone is the child of Frank Trump and wants their parent to die.
Some people want to protect their family members and not have asymptomatic care providers infect them and make them die.
Do you know how to carry on a conversation without swearing and throwing lame political insults? I chose to stay home to care for my ill and dying parent, insurance still covered an HHA or CNA if we wanted it for respite.
Except COVID means that anyone can be asymptomatic and infect an old person. Which means no one comes inside the house who is not bubbling with you. Which means that you are the full time care giver now without any respite. No one can come to your house without quarantining for 14 days. Which is not feasible.
What don't you understand about the pandemic? Or do you drink Trumps' KoolAid that it is like flu? Sorry, but don't believe that you are capable of looking after any ill or dying relative.
That's great your insurance pays for help. Not all insurance companies pay for respite. Stop being rude.
Anonymous
10/11/2020 20:49
Subject: Re:Husband doesn’t want a SAHM
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I understand staying at home when the kids are still little and don't go to school. But once they are elementary school age, what do you do all day?
Seriously? 1/4 of woman are quitting the workforce in the USA this year because of COVID and DL for school aged kids.
Women who are working from home due to COVID are quitting because they do not have childcare.
Women who had cleaning ladies and home care aides are quitting their jobs because they cannot outsource these chores.
Our household saw the easiest transition during COVID because I am at home. My kids are teens. While I have to do a lot more because everyone is home and need to be fed thrice a day, and I no longer have my twice a week cleaning lady - my family has had a very easy time. I would say that they are thriving because a lot of stressors are not there because I am at home.
Women are quitting their jobs to clean their house all day
Yes, for sure. I mean eldercare means taking care of the elderly and cleaning their homes. If they live with you it means taking care of them and having someone to clean their space. You know because they poop in their diapers or have pee accidents. Usually people had home care aides and cleaning people.
You sound so much like Hope Hicks, Ivanka and Melania. Eldercare does not mean what you think.
HHA should be covered by the parent's insurance plan.
Bitch, not everyone is the child of Frank Trump and wants their parent to die.
Some people want to protect their family members and not have asymptomatic care providers infect them and make them die.
Do you know how to carry on a conversation without swearing and throwing lame political insults? I chose to stay home to care for my ill and dying parent, insurance still covered an HHA or CNA if we wanted it for respite.
Except COVID means that anyone can be asymptomatic and infect an old person. Which means no one comes inside the house who is not bubbling with you. Which means that you are the full time care giver now without any respite. No one can come to your house without quarantining for 14 days. Which is not feasible.
What don't you understand about the pandemic? Or do you drink Trumps' KoolAid that it is like flu? Sorry, but don't believe that you are capable of looking after any ill or dying relative.
Anonymous
10/11/2020 20:47
Subject: Re:Husband doesn’t want a SAHM
I am the high earner in my household now, and I wouldn't want to support a SAHD.
Anonymous
10/11/2020 20:43
Subject: Re:Husband doesn’t want a SAHM
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I understand staying at home when the kids are still little and don't go to school. But once they are elementary school age, what do you do all day?
Seriously? 1/4 of woman are quitting the workforce in the USA this year because of COVID and DL for school aged kids.
Women who are working from home due to COVID are quitting because they do not have childcare.
Women who had cleaning ladies and home care aides are quitting their jobs because they cannot outsource these chores.
Our household saw the easiest transition during COVID because I am at home. My kids are teens. While I have to do a lot more because everyone is home and need to be fed thrice a day, and I no longer have my twice a week cleaning lady - my family has had a very easy time. I would say that they are thriving because a lot of stressors are not there because I am at home.
Women are quitting their jobs to clean their house all day
Yes, for sure. I mean eldercare means taking care of the elderly and cleaning their homes. If they live with you it means taking care of them and having someone to clean their space. You know because they poop in their diapers or have pee accidents. Usually people had home care aides and cleaning people.
You sound so much like Hope Hicks, Ivanka and Melania. Eldercare does not mean what you think.
People like you need to learn how to think, and not think they can school people because they read an article. I specifically asked about quitting to clean house. Remove yourself from your UMC DC bubble, the vast majority of people dont have cleaning ladies and do elder care without getting an aide because they can't afford it . I cared for my elderly father so I know all about it, no cleaning service, it's what we poor Democrats do.
We took care of my MIL for a year and yes, I dealt with the accidents and much more. I couldn't safely leave her home alone. No aides, no cleaning service. That isn't UMC, that is upper class if you have aides and housekeepers.
Anonymous
10/11/2020 20:41
Subject: Husband doesn’t want a SAHM
Anonymous wrote:DH generally prefers to keep things equal in our relationship. He wanted me to have my own career.
He didn't want to be 100% responsible for the household income; he preferred to share that burden.
He wanted to be able to "daddy-track" as much as I could "mommy-track"; being the sole earner wouldn't let him do that.
He wanted to be present for field trips and PTA meetings and sick days and snow days just as much as me.
He didn't want me to feel reliant on him for spending money.
He saw what happened to widows or divorcees in his family, and wanted to make sure we could each support ourselves independently.
I love my career, and he didn't want me to lose that.
It's worked well so far. He does at least "his share" of household chores and kid stuff, if not more. We're muddling through COVID, but have discussed that if distance learning gets the best of us, he'll take a sabbatical for a year to stay home with them and I'll keep working. Our incomes are about the same, so that's not an issue.
Why can't many of those things happen and you stay home, if you choose to? My husband does the majority of the field trips, goes to the majority of school events, shagging of the kids to sports and everything you described and still works full time. If one or both of us is sick, he'll stay home. He's canceled business trips because I was sick. He does everything but the PTA, which I do. He refuses but not because of time but drama.
He has no issue what I spend or don't spend. If anything he complains i don't spend enough on myself. Its not a big deal to me as I know I can do what every I want money wise and don't need to consult him. If I do, he encourages me to spend more. Its family money. Not his, not mine.
If you love your career, it makes sense to work. I didn't love my career and with child care, I didn't earn enough to make it work staying or going back. He wanted me happy. He 100% left it my choice but gave me the choice as he's the one who suggested it.
Anonymous
10/11/2020 20:37
Subject: Re:Husband doesn’t want a SAHM
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I understand staying at home when the kids are still little and don't go to school. But once they are elementary school age, what do you do all day?
Seriously? 1/4 of woman are quitting the workforce in the USA this year because of COVID and DL for school aged kids.
Women who are working from home due to COVID are quitting because they do not have childcare.
Women who had cleaning ladies and home care aides are quitting their jobs because they cannot outsource these chores.
Our household saw the easiest transition during COVID because I am at home. My kids are teens. While I have to do a lot more because everyone is home and need to be fed thrice a day, and I no longer have my twice a week cleaning lady - my family has had a very easy time. I would say that they are thriving because a lot of stressors are not there because I am at home.
Women are quitting their jobs to clean their house all day
Yes, for sure. I mean eldercare means taking care of the elderly and cleaning their homes. If they live with you it means taking care of them and having someone to clean their space. You know because they poop in their diapers or have pee accidents. Usually people had home care aides and cleaning people.
You sound so much like Hope Hicks, Ivanka and Melania. Eldercare does not mean what you think.
HHA should be covered by the parent's insurance plan.
Bitch, not everyone is the child of Frank Trump and wants their parent to die.
Some people want to protect their family members and not have asymptomatic care providers infect them and make them die.
Do you know how to carry on a conversation without swearing and throwing lame political insults? I chose to stay home to care for my ill and dying parent, insurance still covered an HHA or CNA if we wanted it for respite.
Anonymous
10/11/2020 20:34
Subject: Re:Husband doesn’t want a SAHM
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I understand staying at home when the kids are still little and don't go to school. But once they are elementary school age, what do you do all day?
Seriously? 1/4 of woman are quitting the workforce in the USA this year because of COVID and DL for school aged kids.
Women who are working from home due to COVID are quitting because they do not have childcare.
Women who had cleaning ladies and home care aides are quitting their jobs because they cannot outsource these chores.
Our household saw the easiest transition during COVID because I am at home. My kids are teens. While I have to do a lot more because everyone is home and need to be fed thrice a day, and I no longer have my twice a week cleaning lady - my family has had a very easy time. I would say that they are thriving because a lot of stressors are not there because I am at home.
Women are quitting their jobs to clean their house all day
Yes, for sure. I mean eldercare means taking care of the elderly and cleaning their homes. If they live with you it means taking care of them and having someone to clean their space. You know because they poop in their diapers or have pee accidents. Usually people had home care aides and cleaning people.
You sound so much like Hope Hicks, Ivanka and Melania. Eldercare does not mean what you think.
HHA should be covered by the parent's insurance plan.
Bitch, not everyone is the child of Frank Trump and wants their parent to die.
Some people want to protect their family members and not have asymptomatic care providers infect them and make them die.
Anonymous
10/11/2020 20:32
Subject: Husband doesn’t want a SAHM
DH generally prefers to keep things equal in our relationship. He wanted me to have my own career.
He didn't want to be 100% responsible for the household income; he preferred to share that burden.
He wanted to be able to "daddy-track" as much as I could "mommy-track"; being the sole earner wouldn't let him do that.
He wanted to be present for field trips and PTA meetings and sick days and snow days just as much as me.
He didn't want me to feel reliant on him for spending money.
He saw what happened to widows or divorcees in his family, and wanted to make sure we could each support ourselves independently.
I love my career, and he didn't want me to lose that.
It's worked well so far. He does at least "his share" of household chores and kid stuff, if not more. We're muddling through COVID, but have discussed that if distance learning gets the best of us, he'll take a sabbatical for a year to stay home with them and I'll keep working. Our incomes are about the same, so that's not an issue.
He didn't want to be 100% responsible for the household income; he preferred to share that burden.
He wanted to be able to "daddy-track" as much as I could "mommy-track"; being the sole earner wouldn't let him do that.
He wanted to be present for field trips and PTA meetings and sick days and snow days just as much as me.
He didn't want me to feel reliant on him for spending money.
He saw what happened to widows or divorcees in his family, and wanted to make sure we could each support ourselves independently.
I love my career, and he didn't want me to lose that.
It's worked well so far. He does at least "his share" of household chores and kid stuff, if not more. We're muddling through COVID, but have discussed that if distance learning gets the best of us, he'll take a sabbatical for a year to stay home with them and I'll keep working. Our incomes are about the same, so that's not an issue.
Anonymous
10/11/2020 20:31
Subject: Husband doesn’t want a SAHM
Anonymous wrote:My husband was very open that he never wanted a long-term SAHM. He was fine with me taking time off when the kids were young, but he always wanted me to work. We don’t need my income, but he wanted to make sure I could support myself if anything ever happened. His parents married and had kids young. His mom never worked and was dependent on his dad. There were many trying times when he was younger and his mom did not have the skills or education to get a job. He doesn’t want that for his wife. Any other women have husbands who were against them being a SAHM?
Oooh! In the time of COVID pandemic, someone who wants to go back to the good ol days of WOHM bashing SAHMs.
Could it be that you are not special/pretty/hot/high-value enough for a man to work and provide for you and your children? Sorry, no gravy train for you, Larla.
It could also be that his own anger/shame at a mom who was unskilled and uneducated and the poverty of his childhood has informed his opinions. Your husband may need therapy.
Anonymous
10/11/2020 20:26
Subject: Re:Husband doesn’t want a SAHM
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I understand staying at home when the kids are still little and don't go to school. But once they are elementary school age, what do you do all day?
Seriously? 1/4 of woman are quitting the workforce in the USA this year because of COVID and DL for school aged kids.
Women who are working from home due to COVID are quitting because they do not have childcare.
Women who had cleaning ladies and home care aides are quitting their jobs because they cannot outsource these chores.
Our household saw the easiest transition during COVID because I am at home. My kids are teens. While I have to do a lot more because everyone is home and need to be fed thrice a day, and I no longer have my twice a week cleaning lady - my family has had a very easy time. I would say that they are thriving because a lot of stressors are not there because I am at home.
Women are quitting their jobs to clean their house all day
Yes, for sure. I mean eldercare means taking care of the elderly and cleaning their homes. If they live with you it means taking care of them and having someone to clean their space. You know because they poop in their diapers or have pee accidents. Usually people had home care aides and cleaning people.
You sound so much like Hope Hicks, Ivanka and Melania. Eldercare does not mean what you think.
HHA should be covered by the parent's insurance plan.
Anonymous
10/11/2020 20:25
Subject: Re:Husband doesn’t want a SAHM
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I understand staying at home when the kids are still little and don't go to school. But once they are elementary school age, what do you do all day?
Seriously? 1/4 of woman are quitting the workforce in the USA this year because of COVID and DL for school aged kids.
Women who are working from home due to COVID are quitting because they do not have childcare.
Women who had cleaning ladies and home care aides are quitting their jobs because they cannot outsource these chores.
Our household saw the easiest transition during COVID because I am at home. My kids are teens. While I have to do a lot more because everyone is home and need to be fed thrice a day, and I no longer have my twice a week cleaning lady - my family has had a very easy time. I would say that they are thriving because a lot of stressors are not there because I am at home.
Women are quitting their jobs to clean their house all day
Yes, for sure. I mean eldercare means taking care of the elderly and cleaning their homes. If they live with you it means taking care of them and having someone to clean their space. You know because they poop in their diapers or have pee accidents. Usually people had home care aides and cleaning people.
You sound so much like Hope Hicks, Ivanka and Melania. Eldercare does not mean what you think.
People like you need to learn how to think, and not think they can school people because they read an article. I specifically asked about quitting to clean house. Remove yourself from your UMC DC bubble, the vast majority of people dont have cleaning ladies and do elder care without getting an aide because they can't afford it . I cared for my elderly father so I know all about it, no cleaning service, it's what we poor Democrats do.
Anonymous
10/11/2020 20:17
Subject: Re:Husband doesn’t want a SAHM
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I understand staying at home when the kids are still little and don't go to school. But once they are elementary school age, what do you do all day?
Seriously? 1/4 of woman are quitting the workforce in the USA this year because of COVID and DL for school aged kids.
Women who are working from home due to COVID are quitting because they do not have childcare.
Women who had cleaning ladies and home care aides are quitting their jobs because they cannot outsource these chores.
Our household saw the easiest transition during COVID because I am at home. My kids are teens. While I have to do a lot more because everyone is home and need to be fed thrice a day, and I no longer have my twice a week cleaning lady - my family has had a very easy time. I would say that they are thriving because a lot of stressors are not there because I am at home.
Ok but covid is a unique situation with distance or hybrid learning. If your kids are physically in school...it cannot possibly be that hard assuming you have neurotypical children and no unusual circumstances. I thought that was the whole “reward” for slogging through the early years?
Anonymous
10/11/2020 20:15
Subject: Husband doesn’t want a SAHM
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, but he also wanted me to handle everything at home like his own SAHM did. If I asked him to do something, he acted like it was a failure on my part for not being able to pull it off myself.
The truth is, he did not want the pressure of being a sole provider for the family. I think he also wanted a credentialed and accomplished wife because it reflected well on him; that the DC version of a trophy wife.
Needless to say, I got out.
Needless to say...like it was unreasonable for him to not want to be the sole provider?
PP is saying it was unreasonable that he expected her to work *and* perform all the duties of a SAHM. You know, a situation no sane person would sign up for.
Needless to say...you have reading comprehension issues.