Anonymous
10/14/2020 11:53
Subject: Did you parents loose interest in their grandchildren once they became tweens & teens
Each in their own way at different stages.
My parents have appreciated each stage. Each would watch them capably and wonder at all the little developments. My dad lectures them about history etc and hey are not always in the mood to listen.
MIL wonderful to our kids. Stressed about being alone with them when little, but likes them as teens. Sweet and caring overall.
FIL also wonderful to the kids. And he also prioritizes his schedule over all else, always, every time..... so this was expected: He likes to see and be with grandkids when little if someone else there to care for them if they cranky, or loud, or wanted to blow off steam, or eat, running, or....... he likes then as teens as long as they listen and engage him.
My parents have appreciated each stage. Each would watch them capably and wonder at all the little developments. My dad lectures them about history etc and hey are not always in the mood to listen.
MIL wonderful to our kids. Stressed about being alone with them when little, but likes them as teens. Sweet and caring overall.
FIL also wonderful to the kids. And he also prioritizes his schedule over all else, always, every time..... so this was expected: He likes to see and be with grandkids when little if someone else there to care for them if they cranky, or loud, or wanted to blow off steam, or eat, running, or....... he likes then as teens as long as they listen and engage him.
Anonymous
10/14/2020 11:14
Subject: Did you parents loose interest in their grandchildren once they became tweens & teens
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t think they are tired of them, just have a hard time engaging with them. Little kids will talk about anything and teenagers won’t.
NP. But 3/4 of our grandparents don’t make any effort to talk to them in an age appropriate manner. They will complain they never get to talk to the kids and I encourage them to also call or text them. The kids have cells and grandparents love to text and FaceTime their own friends. When they do talk, they treat them like they are five. My parents will constantly tell them about the deer they saw on the yard and my MIL will ask if they still like trains and unicorns and try to show them their baby photos. I tell all of them to stop talking and listen. Ask about their games and sports. FIL doesn’t talk much much when he does he will talk about war stories, fights he got into, ask if they are dating and sometimes swear. He’s always been a grumpy old man and now the teens love it.
I don't think you're appreciating how hard it can be to be old. The may seem very sharp on the things they do day in and day out - but that's a routine they're practicing every single day. When your mind is overall working more slowly and you're in a smaller world where you do the same types of things and interact with the same types of people most days, it can be very difficult to have a sharp conversation with fast talking child or teen. They don't remember what each age is like and may have a hard time processing and retailing new information in conversation so its easier to talk about the same old familiar stuff. We're all going to get old, you too will someday be the slow responding, boring, old person that teens don't want to slow down and try to engage with
Anonymous
10/13/2020 22:16
Subject: Did you parents loose interest in their grandchildren once they became tweens & teens
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think they are tired of them, just have a hard time engaging with them. Little kids will talk about anything and teenagers won’t.
NP. But 3/4 of our grandparents don’t make any effort to talk to them in an age appropriate manner. They will complain they never get to talk to the kids and I encourage them to also call or text them. The kids have cells and grandparents love to text and FaceTime their own friends. When they do talk, they treat them like they are five. My parents will constantly tell them about the deer they saw on the yard and my MIL will ask if they still like trains and unicorns and try to show them their baby photos. I tell all of them to stop talking and listen. Ask about their games and sports. FIL doesn’t talk much much when he does he will talk about war stories, fights he got into, ask if they are dating and sometimes swear. He’s always been a grumpy old man and now the teens love it.
Anonymous
10/13/2020 15:19
Subject: Did you parents loose interest in their grandchildren once they became tweens & teens
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:With my own grandparents, I noticed it with me but now seeing the full spectrum of their lives, I think they just got tired. Even though they had activities and things, anything that was outside of their usual routine because challenging and exhausting. It had nothing to do with me, it had to do with a 65 year old bouncing an infant is very different than an 80 year old trying to make conversation with a 15 year old.
+1
+2
My parents are still into my kid as she gets older -- they like that they can now teach her things and do more stuff with her -- cooking, sewing, carpentry, etc. But they are older, and more tired, and older kids can be more closed-off and difficult, so it can be harder.
Anonymous
10/13/2020 13:50
Subject: Did you parents loose interest in their grandchildren once they became tweens & teens
^ nice insight
Anonymous
10/13/2020 13:23
Subject: Did you parents loose interest in their grandchildren once they became tweens & teens
Anonymous wrote:With my own grandparents, I noticed it with me but now seeing the full spectrum of their lives, I think they just got tired. Even though they had activities and things, anything that was outside of their usual routine because challenging and exhausting. It had nothing to do with me, it had to do with a 65 year old bouncing an infant is very different than an 80 year old trying to make conversation with a 15 year old.
+1
Anonymous
10/13/2020 13:22
Subject: Re:Did you parents loose interest in their grandchildren once they became tweens & teens
A 15 year old is not going to run up to me yelling Nana, Nana and give me a big hug but a 5 year old will. That doesn't mean I love them any less it just means that they are growing up and that their parents and grandparents are not their whole world. I'm in heaven right now with a bunch of little ones so I'm taking advantage of the hugs as much as I can!
Anonymous
10/13/2020 11:52
Subject: Did you parents loose interest in their grandchildren once they became tweens & teens
Honestly my parents are too interested in both our life and their grandkids. They have opinions on absolutely everything and they're not afraid to voice them. There's gotta be a middle ground, but mine ain't it.
Anonymous
10/13/2020 11:50
Subject: Re:Did you parents loose interest in their grandchildren once they became tweens & teens
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Normal. They don't relate to each other.
Who wouldn't rather hang out with a cute, cuddly toddler or preschooler than an awkward teen?
Yeah, I'd take the toddler or preschooler.
Says the most selfish generation in history.
