Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like others, this would make me uncomfortable. But it's also sad a woman can't be friends with a man unless his wife is included.

A man can absolutely be friends with a woman other than his wife. That doesn't mean there shouldn't be boundaries or limitations. The neighbor's invitations violate sensible boundaries.

Exactly. Also, this is not a case of them being friends in school before OP came into the picture or friends at work. They were couple of friends and now the neighbor is intentionally excluding OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like others, this would make me uncomfortable. But it's also sad a woman can't be friends with a man unless his wife is included.

Does this apply to coworkers, too? There's a mid-60 year old woman at my husband's office that continuously throws herself at him (he is mid-40s).

I hit the roof when I found out they'd had 1:1 lunches during work. He was all, "but, her age?? And I don't find her attractive (she's not)" yet I'm sure she doesn't see it that way.

1:1 lunches at work are not a big thing, I do that with many people of both genders.

Yeah, "hitting the roof" over a work lunch partner is pretty out there. I'm guessing the poster doesn't work so doesn't really get it.

Not sure why people keep bringing up Mike Pence but this neighbor's behavior is wildly inappropriate. You don't repeatedly invite one half of a married couple on outings like this. Was a problem with my thankfully now ex, some gross woman from Twitter went out of her way to invite only him to activities/ outings over and over again. He wouldn't even acknowledge it as an issue much less shut it down.

Ghost the neighbor, her personal background doesn't excuse this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like others, this would make me uncomfortable. But it's also sad a woman can't be friends with a man unless his wife is included.

Does this apply to coworkers, too? There's a mid-60 year old woman at my husband's office that continuously throws herself at him (he is mid-40s).

I hit the roof when I found out they'd had 1:1 lunches during work. He was all, "but, her age?? And I don't find her attractive (she's not)" yet I'm sure she doesn't see it that way.

1:1 lunches at work are not a big thing, I do that with many people of both genders.

I had a good friend do this to me early in my marriage. Her serious BF of 5 years left her and moved away. We in turn made sure to include her when we’d go out, attend parties. One night she was ridiculously flirty with my husband but I could tell it was coming from of place of pain and fear. My husband is a good egg and I could see why she’d try and tempt him while she was temporarily insane. I never said anything to her and it sorted itself out.

What you describe, OP, is similar but more intense and sinister. I’m sure she’s doing this because he’s feeling terrified about a future alone and she’s being a little nuts. Your husband needs to say a bit more than “no” at this point. He needs to make it clear that invitations just to him without including you will not be accepted.

OP, do you know if it’s just your husband she’s glommed on to or is she doing the same with the other male neighbors?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like others, this would make me uncomfortable. But it's also sad a woman can't be friends with a man unless his wife is included.

Does this apply to coworkers, too? There's a mid-60 year old woman at my husband's office that continuously throws herself at him (he is mid-40s).

I hit the roof when I found out they'd had 1:1 lunches during work. He was all, "but, her age?? And I don't find her attractive (she's not)" yet I'm sure she doesn't see it that way.

I think you overreacted.

Yeah, with that age difference and the situation (lunch? during work hours? really?), I wouldn't worry about it at alllll. You sound insecure.

There's been many private lunches. Happy hours. She messages him frequently about personal things. When they speak on the phone his voice is different, I don't know how else to describe it. He sounds nicer. She has been divorced twice, both absolute divorces, so I assume she cheated in those.

But okay, guess I'm just insecure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like others, this would make me uncomfortable. But it's also sad a woman can't be friends with a man unless his wife is included.

Does this apply to coworkers, too? There's a mid-60 year old woman at my husband's office that continuously throws herself at him (he is mid-40s).

I hit the roof when I found out they'd had 1:1 lunches during work. He was all, "but, her age?? And I don't find her attractive (she's not)" yet I'm sure she doesn't see it that way.

Your reaction is over the top. Unless you find other suspicious things around their working relationship, a 1:1 lunch during work is not out of the ordinary.

Yup. I had a good male friend at work, we are both married (happily) and would often grab lunch together. Because we were friends.

Same. My closest male friend at work is married with kids and we've had lunch together hundreds of times. We text all the time, talk on the phone, we are friends. Neither of us has any interest in the other other than being friends. I've met his wife, she's awesome.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband should refer to you as mother.

Truly OP. This is all sounding very Mike and Mother Pence. It’s so bizarre how uncomfortable some married people are with their spouses doing things independently with people of a different sex.

Some of you are so freaking stupid it’s painful. This bitch is trying to steal OP’s husband.

Her husband is a man. Not an umbrella. He can't be "stolen". She's not going to trip and fall on his dick.

If he's a cheater, he'll cheat. If he's not, then he'll shut her unwanted advances down. Not much OP can do about it either way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband should refer to you as mother.

Truly OP. This is all sounding very Mike and Mother Pence. It’s so bizarre how uncomfortable some married people are with their spouses doing things independently with people of a different sex.

Some of you are so freaking stupid it’s painful. This bitch is trying to steal OP’s husband.

So the next martini-fest can you let the hubbie babysit while you show up? She is dressed up thinking it it the husband and you show up instead?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like others, this would make me uncomfortable. But it's also sad a woman can't be friends with a man unless his wife is included.

Does this apply to coworkers, too? There's a mid-60 year old woman at my husband's office that continuously throws herself at him (he is mid-40s).

I hit the roof when I found out they'd had 1:1 lunches during work. He was all, "but, her age?? And I don't find her attractive (she's not)" yet I'm sure she doesn't see it that way.

This makes me so annoyed. I am in a male dominated industry. I can't invite a colleague out for a friendly lunch without his wife getting upset? Ugg, I have no sexual interest and if I were a man no one would blink.

That wife is out of line. At my last job I had 1:1s with friends and none of us ever crossed any lines

Now they are part of my social circle since we have moved on from that job

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like others, this would make me uncomfortable. But it's also sad a woman can't be friends with a man unless his wife is included.

Does this apply to coworkers, too? There's a mid-60 year old woman at my husband's office that continuously throws herself at him (he is mid-40s).

I hit the roof when I found out they'd had 1:1 lunches during work. He was all, "but, her age?? And I don't find her attractive (she's not)" yet I'm sure she doesn't see it that way.

This makes me so annoyed. I am in a male dominated industry. I can't invite a colleague out for a friendly lunch without his wife getting upset? Ugg, I have no sexual interest and if I were a man no one would blink.

Anonymous wrote:This is common among widows unconsciously. Needs to be shut down. You come along every time.

Not just widows. Some divorcees do the same thing.

This is common among widows unconsciously. Needs to be shut down. You come along every time.