Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a two-year-old and a newborn. I do feel strongly about having an educated, loving nanny over daycare or even my sole involvement. Our nanny has a masters in Early Childhood Development and has years of teaching experience. She has a skill set that DH and I simply don’t have and knowledge we don’t possess. I’ve always worked from home so I see how nanny engages and teaches my children. And how she loves them.

It’s also important to me to breastfeed at the breast and not to do any sort of cry-it-out sleep training. I believe firmly in the “fourth-trimester” concept of holding a newborn as much as humanly possible in the first three months.

LOL. The studies don't really back you up there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Resilience
Independent
Kind
Healthy habits
Love of life, adventure

I'm not sure my kids have any of those beyond independence. Nor am I sure those can be taught.

Anonymous wrote:Resilience
Independent
Kind
Healthy habits
Love of life, adventure

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel strongly about antiracist school integration -- intentionally choosing a school in which my white, middle class kid is not in the majority, choosing not to hoard opportunity by requesting to transfer to certain schools/get certain teachers/apply for special programs/get tested for gifted and talented, etc. It's been a journey to get to this point, after a few years of navigating the school lottery systems, boundary discussions, and ugly conversations about "good" and "bad" schools, but I finally feel like now our family is living our values.

That seems strange. Being anti racist, who could be against that.

But why would you not apply for special programs for your kids? Or have them tested for gifted programs? That means their education won't be as good as it can be. That makes no sense, why would a parent do that to a child?

Because those programs disproportionately serve white and affluent students, and lead directly to within-school segregation. I agree with the Brown ruling that separate is inherently unequal. I don't think a systematically segregated school experience is better for my child. I don't want them growing up thinking that Black and Brown kids are less than because there are fewer of them in the special classes and programs. I want them to have the opportunity to form genuine relationships with people who are not just like themselves, and school is a perfect place to do that.

And also, I don't believe that America can have a functioning, multiracial democracy unless we have integrated schools and meaningful, cross-racial and cross-class friendships a d relationships.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel strongly about antiracist school integration -- intentionally choosing a school in which my white, middle class kid is not in the majority, choosing not to hoard opportunity by requesting to transfer to certain schools/get certain teachers/apply for special programs/get tested for gifted and talented, etc. It's been a journey to get to this point, after a few years of navigating the school lottery systems, boundary discussions, and ugly conversations about "good" and "bad" schools, but I finally feel like now our family is living our values.

That seems strange. Being anti racist, who could be against that.

But why would you not apply for special programs for your kids? Or have them tested for gifted programs? That means their education won't be as good as it can be. That makes no sense, why would a parent do that to a child?

Because those programs disproportionately serve white and affluent students, and lead directly to within-school segregation. I agree with the Brown ruling that separate is inherently unequal. I don't think a systematically segregated school experience is better for my child. I don't want them growing up thinking that Black and Brown kids are less than because there are fewer of them in the special classes and programs. I want them to have the opportunity to form genuine relationships with people who are not just like themselves, and school is a perfect place to do that.

And also, I don't believe that America can have a functioning, multiracial democracy unless we have integrated schools and meaningful, cross-racial and cross-class friendships a d relationships.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel strongly about antiracist school integration -- intentionally choosing a school in which my white, middle class kid is not in the majority, choosing not to hoard opportunity by requesting to transfer to certain schools/get certain teachers/apply for special programs/get tested for gifted and talented, etc. It's been a journey to get to this point, after a few years of navigating the school lottery systems, boundary discussions, and ugly conversations about "good" and "bad" schools, but I finally feel like now our family is living our values.

That seems strange. Being anti racist, who could be against that.

But why would you not apply for special programs for your kids? Or have them tested for gifted programs? That means their education won't be as good as it can be. That makes no sense, why would a parent do that to a child?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a two-year-old and a newborn. I do feel strongly about having an educated, loving nanny over daycare or even my sole involvement. Our nanny has a masters in Early Childhood Development and has years of teaching experience. She has a skill set that DH and I simply don’t have and knowledge we don’t possess. I’ve always worked from home so I see how nanny engages and teaches my children. And how she loves them.

It’s also important to me to breastfeed at the breast and not to do any sort of cry-it-out sleep training. I believe firmly in the “fourth-trimester” concept of holding a newborn as much as humanly possible in the first three months.

LOL. The studies don't really back you up there.

Anonymous wrote:I have a two-year-old and a newborn. I do feel strongly about having an educated, loving nanny over daycare or even my sole involvement. Our nanny has a masters in Early Childhood Development and has years of teaching experience. She has a skill set that DH and I simply don’t have and knowledge we don’t possess. I’ve always worked from home so I see how nanny engages and teaches my children. And how she loves them.

It’s also important to me to breastfeed at the breast and not to do any sort of cry-it-out sleep training. I believe firmly in the “fourth-trimester” concept of holding a newborn as much as humanly possible in the first three months.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel strongly about antiracist school integration -- intentionally choosing a school in which my white, middle class kid is not in the majority, choosing not to hoard opportunity by requesting to transfer to certain schools/get certain teachers/apply for special programs/get tested for gifted and talented, etc. It's been a journey to get to this point, after a few years of navigating the school lottery systems, boundary discussions, and ugly conversations about "good" and "bad" schools, but I finally feel like now our family is living our values.

I am curious where you landed in terms of schools. I know people who say stuff like this and argue against charters and take great pride in sending their kids to IB schools. But then it turns out their IB is a perfectly fine school. This gets a lot harder when your IB is genuinely a failing school with skyrocketing suspension and truancy rates.

We will either lottery out of our IB or move before our kid hits 1st grade. I value making anti-racist choices but I also value not spiting my child to serve my image of what a progressive should do.