He’s not into you. Ghost him. Living well is the best revenge.

Why on earth do you want to marry him? I was thinking as I read your post — this is her “get out of jail free card”! You need to self-reflect — there’s some codependency going on here. You’re not a victim if you make the choice to stay and suffer, when you’re not even bound by marriage or kids.

Some tough love: get your a$$ in therapy!!

Anonymous wrote:This is a TERRIBLE plan. And joke’s on you, because you’ll be waiting around for something that’s never gonna happen.

+1 And you will have wasted more years in this relationship. It makes me wonder if you actually DO want marriage, because the way to get there is to break up with this guy and find a healthier relationship. And the BEST revenge is dumping him, which he absolutely does not expect. You are so scared to leave him/be alone, that you’ve hatched this plan (which would enable you to stay indefinitely) instead of dumping this guy and getting out of this toxic situation.

Wtf? Just dump him.

You are wasting time finding somebody that actually loves you.

I got no advice or opinion on your situation OP but I will say this...

Your decision making sucks.

Good luck with everything.

If he wanted to propose to you, he would. If he wanted to move in together, he would. If he wanted to have sex with you, he would. You’ve been given a huge gift- he’s waved all the red flags before you’re married with kids. Get out now. There will not be a happy ending with this guy.

Foe the last couple of years, you have waited for him to propose so you could happily accept. You haven't been happy. Now, you're planning to wait for an indefinite period of time for him to propose so you can reject him.

Solid plan, OP. Really well thought out.

You are letting him take up to much space in your head. Dump him and move on. Living your best life, without him taking up any space in your head, is the best revenge.

The best revenge is moving on.

Why do you want to be with him? Aside from the fact that he doesn’t want to commit, he doesn’t seem to be a catch. What dies he have to offer?

You shouldn’t have to convince or beg anyone to treat you with care and love, let alone marry you. Your relationship will not get better and you will live a miserable life if you stay with him. Can’t you see that? Don’t you think you deserve better?

Why would you waste anymore time or energy on this guy? He’s not into you. I know you desperately want the status of being “married” but you clearly loathe the guy.

You two are wrong for each other. Move on. He’s fine with the status quo.

OMG girl! I don’t know which paragraph is the worst, the third or the last one!

You’re on the path to becoming the forever girlfriend. Do yourself a favor and search for FDS dating strategy on Reddit, it will change your life.

Anonymous wrote:
Sooo... you’re going to waste more time on him? Girl, he’s not going to propose for YEARS!!!! And that’s IF he proposes at all!

You need to move on with your life NOW. You don’t have years to waste if you’re in your 30’s and you want marriage and kids. MOVE ON. Next time, don’t date anyone for more than 6 months without commitment. Timeline should be maximum of 1year to get engaged.

I’ll let you in on a secret, living well is the best revenge.

+10000

Alternate plan that doesn’t waste more time: look for an apartment now with a November or December start date. Move in slowly, buying new stuff and getting it into the new place bit by bit.

On Dec. 24, you roll your suitcase out and leave a lovely Christmas card for him to find in the morning: “Happy Holidays to me! I’m starting a New Year without you.”

Girl we get it. When you wake up in your mid 30s and realize how much your time has been wasted it’s infuriating. But you’ve got to do the hard work if you want the life you want. He sucks big-time. And I agree with the posters above that he’s probably gay (also who cares? He sounds like a loser). But you saw the writing on the wall and you stuck around. You’ve got to figure out why that happened and then NOT do it again. The last guy I dated who did this to me? Was the last guy I dated who did this to me. (He was also the last guy dated period. I married the next one). It was no accident. I went to therapy and figured out what I was doing to contribute to these prior train wreck relationships (spoiler alert: it wasn’t complicated. I was settling for bullshit because I didn’t think I deserved better).

You’re right not to say anything to him about your plan, but make a plan soup to nuts that will take 30 to 60 days and then get the F out of there. The look on his face when you walk out and never talk to him again will feel good I promise. You can do this.