Anonymous wrote:You shouldn't be on a team you are not good enough to be on. They really should never promise a spot. Put it on your daughter to keep up or get left behind. Stop making the rest of the team play down to her level. Cmon stop raising snowflakes and start raise go getters.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m going to tell a very different angle (and an upfront side note, there seems to be a huge obsession with ‘getting what you paid for’, but if $$ is the primary concern, what are you even doing in soccer at all? Our kid likes soccer, its helping to foster some decent life skills, we all probably care a little too much about it, but overall it’s been worth it). OK On with the key story.

To the OP: If you kid is having a crisis of confidence and not playing well, figure out if your kid likes the lower division coach and ASK to be moved down. We didn’t and we regret it. Our kid has a fair bit of talent, and a LOT of speed. Got bumped up to the top team at 10 from the a bottom team (club has 4-6 teams per age group, so you can figure out which club). First half of the year, kid was getting just spun around. Touch wasn’t great, coach was impatient, other kids were much better. Speed was still there, but the loss of confidence was huge.

Still, kid made “the top team” so we didn’t consider asking the coach about moving down, even though the emotions were raw and confidence was zero. At the end of the season, the inevitable happened.

Low and behold, the next season the coach for the next team down was more development focused and less impatient, and it was like the lights came back on.

Kid is now 14, back on the top team and really enjoying the sport. We regret not learning more about the other coach and the players one rung down on the ladder, too caught up in the ego of being on an Academy team.

Soccer is so so dependent of confidence, so you, and you kid need to identify what things they need from a coach to build that confidence and skill. Some kids like a stern coach, others like a warm and fuzzy one. But all kids need a coach that values them and finds a way to help them get where they want to go.

So the simple thing is, if your kid is suffering on the upper team and losing confidence, AND, if you think the other coach/players have even a chance of being a better fit, ask to drop now.

I needed to hear this. We are at the same club as you but younger. We have one of the biggest and fastest kids with medium foot skills- currently midlevel team. His goal is to move up to a higher team but his coach now is SO good, lots of patience and really focuses on improving each kid individually and as a whole. I have seen a big progression under this coach in a short amount of time. And ds confidence is very high here as he is a top player and gets lots of playing time- his confidence was very low when he rode the bench with much better players.

Anonymous wrote:I’m going to tell a very different angle (and an upfront side note, there seems to be a huge obsession with ‘getting what you paid for’, but if $$ is the primary concern, what are you even doing in soccer at all? Our kid likes soccer, its helping to foster some decent life skills, we all probably care a little too much about it, but overall it’s been worth it). OK On with the key story.

To the OP: If you kid is having a crisis of confidence and not playing well, figure out if your kid likes the lower division coach and ASK to be moved down. We didn’t and we regret it. Our kid has a fair bit of talent, and a LOT of speed. Got bumped up to the top team at 10 from the a bottom team (club has 4-6 teams per age group, so you can figure out which club). First half of the year, kid was getting just spun around. Touch wasn’t great, coach was impatient, other kids were much better. Speed was still there, but the loss of confidence was huge.

Still, kid made “the top team” so we didn’t consider asking the coach about moving down, even though the emotions were raw and confidence was zero. At the end of the season, the inevitable happened.

Low and behold, the next season the coach for the next team down was more development focused and less impatient, and it was like the lights came back on.

Kid is now 14, back on the top team and really enjoying the sport. We regret not learning more about the other coach and the players one rung down on the ladder, too caught up in the ego of being on an Academy team.

Soccer is so so dependent of confidence, so you, and you kid need to identify what things they need from a coach to build that confidence and skill. Some kids like a stern coach, others like a warm and fuzzy one. But all kids need a coach that values them and finds a way to help them get where they want to go.

So the simple thing is, if your kid is suffering on the upper team and losing confidence, AND, if you think the other coach/players have even a chance of being a better fit, ask to drop now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really hard to weigh status and value of competition/practice of being on top team and playing lower when you are somewhere in the middle. Playing time is always going to be critical, but have also seen DS grow by the better training environment of the top team.

The frustration about being placed on a top team and having your spot either taken or limited is understandable. But this is also travel soccer and in most cases playing time is merit based. You may feel lied to or disappointed. Focus on the development of your child and what works best for him or her.

that's an understandable way to look at it if a kids has been with a club for awhile. If a kid goes to a few tryouts and has multiple offers to weigh, then the yes where the team is in the club's pecking order matters- be it for the quality of the coaching and the training or the quality of the league the team plays in. If my kid was unhappy with a demotion, I would absolutely leave and would probably try to get my money back on the way out- contracts work too ways, they bind a kid to a club, but based on certain conditions

But if your child was demoted because of ability you would leave? I’ve never understood the idea that you keep your spot the whole season even if other players pass you. That’s great for those that don’t want to compete but that’s also a losing mentality for development. You should be earning your spot every day.

Anonymous wrote:The moving of players based on play rather than promises made is the only proper way to do it. Camaraderie is built when talent is respected by teammates. Not when people are given spots because they were promised one.

Anonymous wrote:The moving of players based on play rather than promises made is the only proper way to do it. Camaraderie is built when talent is respected by teammates. Not when people are given spots because they were promised one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does this ever happen and what is the procedure? DD is worried she's going to be moved down a team and it's not due to any issues other than she has not been playing as well as before. DH is annoyed and thinks it's still early in the season and if she was playing on the lower team she would have signed up for a different club. He's right about her signing up for a different club if she had been moved down earlier. But I feel like it's the pandemic and everyone is playing worse than before and even though it may not be "fair" after they took our money with an understanding of a team assignment I feel like the world has other things to worry about. We should be happy she gets to play at all.

Are you with Loudoun? They’re notorious for withholding players’ cards in an attempt to stall or otherwise affect said departure.

Money talks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really hard to weigh status and value of competition/practice of being on top team and playing lower when you are somewhere in the middle. Playing time is always going to be critical, but have also seen DS grow by the better training environment of the top team.

The frustration about being placed on a top team and having your spot either taken or limited is understandable. But this is also travel soccer and in most cases playing time is merit based. You may feel lied to or disappointed. Focus on the development of your child and what works best for him or her.

that's an understandable way to look at it if a kids has been with a club for awhile. If a kid goes to a few tryouts and has multiple offers to weigh, then the yes where the team is in the club's pecking order matters- be it for the quality of the coaching and the training or the quality of the league the team plays in. If my kid was unhappy with a demotion, I would absolutely leave and would probably try to get my money back on the way out- contracts work too ways, they bind a kid to a club, but based on certain conditions

But if your child was demoted because of ability you would leave? I’ve never understood the idea that you keep your spot the whole season even if other players pass you. That’s great for those that don’t want to compete but that’s also a losing mentality for development. You should be earning your spot every day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really hard to weigh status and value of competition/practice of being on top team and playing lower when you are somewhere in the middle. Playing time is always going to be critical, but have also seen DS grow by the better training environment of the top team.

The frustration about being placed on a top team and having your spot either taken or limited is understandable. But this is also travel soccer and in most cases playing time is merit based. You may feel lied to or disappointed. Focus on the development of your child and what works best for him or her.

that's an understandable way to look at it if a kids has been with a club for awhile. If a kid goes to a few tryouts and has multiple offers to weigh, then the yes where the team is in the club's pecking order matters- be it for the quality of the coaching and the training or the quality of the league the team plays in. If my kid was unhappy with a demotion, I would absolutely leave and would probably try to get my money back on the way out- contracts work too ways, they bind a kid to a club, but based on certain conditions

But if your child was demoted because of ability you would leave? I’ve never understood the idea that you keep your spot the whole season even if other players pass you. That’s great for those that don’t want to compete but that’s also a losing mentality for development. You should be earning your spot every day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really hard to weigh status and value of competition/practice of being on top team and playing lower when you are somewhere in the middle. Playing time is always going to be critical, but have also seen DS grow by the better training environment of the top team.

The frustration about being placed on a top team and having your spot either taken or limited is understandable. But this is also travel soccer and in most cases playing time is merit based. You may feel lied to or disappointed. Focus on the development of your child and what works best for him or her.

that's an understandable way to look at it if a kids has been with a club for awhile. If a kid goes to a few tryouts and has multiple offers to weigh, then the yes where the team is in the club's pecking order matters- be it for the quality of the coaching and the training or the quality of the league the team plays in. If my kid was unhappy with a demotion, I would absolutely leave and would probably try to get my money back on the way out- contracts work too ways, they bind a kid to a club, but based on certain conditions

Anonymous wrote:It's really hard to weigh status and value of competition/practice of being on top team and playing lower when you are somewhere in the middle. Playing time is always going to be critical, but have also seen DS grow by the better training environment of the top team.

The frustration about being placed on a top team and having your spot either taken or limited is understandable. But this is also travel soccer and in most cases playing time is merit based. You may feel lied to or disappointed. Focus on the development of your child and what works best for him or her.