Anonymous
Post 09/19/2020 08:33     Subject: Re:Let Wife Decide?
Dh nixed every home we saw until.we ran out of time..he flew out, saw a home and insisted we should buy it. I never saw it till.closing.

I hate it and we overpaid. He's a dumbass and I am angry about this still.

I try not to.let it ruin things but I can't wait to move.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2020 08:03     Subject: Let Wife Decide?
Happy wife, happy life. You’ll constantly hear about how she doesn’t like the house you decided on...
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2020 06:50     Subject: Let Wife Decide?
You’re planning on children and moving into a condo?
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2020 06:49     Subject: Re:Let Wife Decide?
Anonymous wrote:Make sure the carpet in the home matches the purse where she keeps your balls.


Lol!!!
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2020 06:46     Subject: Let Wife Decide?
Anonymous wrote:Wife here- My husband makes 6x what I do (I’m a teacher) and he always has let me take the lead on the homes we purchase. We’ve been married almost 20 years and this is our 4th house together.


So you’ve moved every 5 years?
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2020 05:26     Subject: Re:Let Wife Decide?
I may sound like a broken record but....

Happy Wife = Happy Life.
Anonymous
Post 09/18/2020 19:52     Subject: Let Wife Decide?
Always.
Anonymous
Post 09/18/2020 19:39     Subject: Let Wife Decide?
Sigh... if you think it is prudent to start saving money to have children with this woman, I PROMISE you, start practicing the habit of selflessness and self denial when interacting with your wife now! More important than the finances or the condo or the crib. Is it her job to take out the trash... right now, go do that for her and (cheerfully) choose the condo she likes.
I’m not sure if a happy wife = a happy life, but a happy mother Who feels cherished is better for children.
Anonymous
Post 09/18/2020 18:57     Subject: Re:Let Wife Decide?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. It was a bad choice of words to say “ buy her a home”. We will be buying her choice of home but it will be our home. She does work but I will be paying for it. We have been putting her salary away for a couple of years so she can stay home for 2-3 years when we have children.

We will be going with her choice. We are buying a condo and there are perks to my choice, but I think she cares more about the little stuff than I do.


If she is to be the primary home-maker and spend much of her time there, her preferences should be weighted a little heavier IMO.
Anonymous
Post 09/18/2020 18:38     Subject: Re:Let Wife Decide?
Make sure the carpet in the home matches the purse where she keeps your balls.
Anonymous
Post 09/18/2020 18:24     Subject: Re:Let Wife Decide?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. It was a bad choice of words to say “ buy her a home”. We will be buying her choice of home but it will be our home. She does work but I will be paying for it. We have been putting her salary away for a couple of years so she can stay home for 2-3 years when we have children.

We will be going with her choice. We are buying a condo and there are perks to my choice, but I think she cares more about the little stuff than I do.


I hope you are a troll because your choice of words here is equally terrible and dismissive of your wife.
Anonymous
Post 09/18/2020 18:21     Subject: Let Wife Decide?
Anonymous wrote:Happy wife happy life is a sexist trope that says a man / husband's duty is to put aside his own thoughts, feelings, and opinions and just always concede to keep his wife happy. It is the ultimate beta man or me nice guy where his only role is to be the 'yes dear' and 'whatever makes you happy dear'. It comes from a position of not being equals. Of men seeing women as needing a man who just does their bidding and focuses on their happiness at the expense of his own. It comes from a position of a man not having a right to happiness or a say in his own life. It treats women like they aren't capable of being equal partners and alway need to get their way.

It is just a horrible attitude. And it is just as bad if a wife dedicates her life to making her husband happy, putting aside her needs, wants. Opinions and feelings in deference to his at all times.

Either way it is an unhealthy and sexist dynamic.


Well said.
Anonymous
Post 09/18/2020 17:19     Subject: Re:Let Wife Decide?
OP here. It was a bad choice of words to say “ buy her a home”. We will be buying her choice of home but it will be our home. She does work but I will be paying for it. We have been putting her salary away for a couple of years so she can stay home for 2-3 years when we have children.

We will be going with her choice. We are buying a condo and there are perks to my choice, but I think she cares more about the little stuff than I do.
Anonymous
Post 09/18/2020 17:05     Subject: Re:Let Wife Decide?
There was another post in the real estate forum where the husband overruled the wife on the house she preferred. She’s still resentful. I commented about going through the same experience. Yes, I recommend you “let” her pick the house.
Anonymous
Post 09/18/2020 16:47     Subject: Let Wife Decide?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why has she fallen in love with it and why do you think the other house is better? This is the kind of question that requires knowing the pros and cons of both choices.


OP here. She prefers the layout to the other home. Her choice is a little smaller ( not by much) than the home I want. I like the floors and the layout of the bedrooms more in the other house. She prefers the layout and floors in the other home. She likes that her choice has a fireplace. Both are very nice and not much of a difference bedroom or size wise.


In this case, yes, I’d go with what she likes better.


Same here. Similar size and quality, and you're just talking about bedroom layouts and floors -- this isn't a case where someone is in love with the vibe of a house or a few features, and not taking into account serious problems in quality, or convenience, or the like.

Sounds good. Rational and not too emotional

You two make a good team!