Anonymous
Post 09/20/2020 12:41     Subject: Hyphenated last names for kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids got my (mom) last name. Their middle name is their dad's surname. I wasn't messing with hyphens.

I carried them, , I birthed them, I mostly raised them. They get my name. There was never a question about this and I would not have married a guy who didn't see the logic in this.

Pretty much every boyfriend I had agreed this makes the most sense.



Wow. So, you're not interested in creating a new family and doing what's best for your kids? There's your take, OP.

I have always found this to be really silly and hard on the kids in the long run. Who wants to deal with the hassle of a hyphenated last name, especially if they have no choice in the matter?

Thanks, PP, for proving that it's almost always about the mother's ego.


Why isn't it about the father's ego when the kids are given his last name? Why is it only considered family if it's the father's name?


Because women have no inherent identity. They just borrow a name from their closest male relative. That’s why it’s not a real family if the baby’s mother has any say in naming her child. He might as well be a bastard at that point.



Anonymous
Post 09/20/2020 12:40     Subject: Hyphenated last names for kids
No!!! too difficult for the kids. It’s selfish of parents to impose this.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2020 12:38     Subject: Hyphenated last names for kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids got my (mom) last name. Their middle name is their dad's surname. I wasn't messing with hyphens.

I carried them, , I birthed them, I mostly raised them. They get my name. There was never a question about this and I would not have married a guy who didn't see the logic in this.

Pretty much every boyfriend I had agreed this makes the most sense.



I agree this makes the most sense. Matrilineal bloodlines in general make the most sense, because you can never know exactly who the father was and fathers are more likely to leave anyway. That being said, I had no issue giving my kids their dad’s surname. My last name is their middle.



Um... sweetheart.... I am 100% certain who my kids' father is. Sorry that you live your life that way, but most people don't.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2020 12:35     Subject: Re:Hyphenated last names for kids
Anonymous wrote:We didn’t hyphenate. I gave all kids my last name as a middle. DH’s mom did the same thing. The kids like having the same middle name and how it connects them to me and my parents’.


This. We did this as well and it is the PERFECT hassle free solution.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2020 12:31     Subject: Hyphenated last names for kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids got my (mom) last name. Their middle name is their dad's surname. I wasn't messing with hyphens.

I carried them, , I birthed them, I mostly raised them. They get my name. There was never a question about this and I would not have married a guy who didn't see the logic in this.

Pretty much every boyfriend I had agreed this makes the most sense.



I agree this makes the most sense. Matrilineal bloodlines in general make the most sense, because you can never know exactly who the father was and fathers are more likely to leave anyway. That being said, I had no issue giving my kids their dad’s surname. My last name is their middle.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2020 12:23     Subject: Hyphenated last names for kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids got my (mom) last name. Their middle name is their dad's surname. I wasn't messing with hyphens.

I carried them, , I birthed them, I mostly raised them. They get my name. There was never a question about this and I would not have married a guy who didn't see the logic in this.

Pretty much every boyfriend I had agreed this makes the most sense.



Wow. So, you're not interested in creating a new family and doing what's best for your kids? There's your take, OP.

I have always found this to be really silly and hard on the kids in the long run. Who wants to deal with the hassle of a hyphenated last name, especially if they have no choice in the matter?

Thanks, PP, for proving that it's almost always about the mother's ego.


Why isn't it about the father's ego when the kids are given his last name? Why is it only considered family if it's the father's name?


Yeah PP, care to explain why using mom’s name is about “ego” but when it’s dad’s name, it’s “creating a new family” and “doing the best for your kids”?

Actually don’t bother. We know what the difference is. Hopefully you’ll wake up in 21st century soon.



Well, I was addressng this specific PP, who gave us the details that she carried and birthed the kids. I worked really hard on that one and concluded that it is a mother.

I don't care whose name they give them. But to hyphenate a name -- and saddle kids with writing, saying, explaining that for their childhood and beyond - is egotistical on the part of someone. In this case -- and in most cases - it's the mother. Yes. As demonstrated here.


Oh so you're just against hyphens, so it should be a problem if the kids have just mom's last name. Right?
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2020 11:04     Subject: Hyphenated last names for kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids got my (mom) last name. Their middle name is their dad's surname. I wasn't messing with hyphens.

I carried them, , I birthed them, I mostly raised them. They get my name. There was never a question about this and I would not have married a guy who didn't see the logic in this.

Pretty much every boyfriend I had agreed this makes the most sense.



Wow. So, you're not interested in creating a new family and doing what's best for your kids? There's your take, OP.

I have always found this to be really silly and hard on the kids in the long run. Who wants to deal with the hassle of a hyphenated last name, especially if they have no choice in the matter?

Thanks, PP, for proving that it's almost always about the mother's ego.


Why isn't it about the father's ego when the kids are given his last name? Why is it only considered family if it's the father's name?


Yeah PP, care to explain why using mom’s name is about “ego” but when it’s dad’s name, it’s “creating a new family” and “doing the best for your kids”?

Actually don’t bother. We know what the difference is. Hopefully you’ll wake up in 21st century soon.



Well, I was addressng this specific PP, who gave us the details that she carried and birthed the kids. I worked really hard on that one and concluded that it is a mother.

I don't care whose name they give them. But to hyphenate a name -- and saddle kids with writing, saying, explaining that for their childhood and beyond - is egotistical on the part of someone. In this case -- and in most cases - it's the mother. Yes. As demonstrated here.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2020 11:03     Subject: Hyphenated last names for kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids got my (mom) last name. Their middle name is their dad's surname. I wasn't messing with hyphens.

I carried them, , I birthed them, I mostly raised them. They get my name. There was never a question about this and I would not have married a guy who didn't see the logic in this.

Pretty much every boyfriend I had agreed this makes the most sense.



Wow. So, you're not interested in creating a new family and doing what's best for your kids? There's your take, OP.

I have always found this to be really silly and hard on the kids in the long run. Who wants to deal with the hassle of a hyphenated last name, especially if they have no choice in the matter?

Thanks, PP, for proving that it's almost always about the mother's ego.


Well, I was addressng this specific PP, who gave us the details that she carried and birthed the kids. I worked really hard on that one and concluded that it is a mother.

I don't care whose name they give them. But to hyphenate a name -- and saddle kids with writing, saying, explaining that for their childhood and beyond - is egotistical on the part of someone. In this case -- and in most cases - it's the mother. Yes. As demonstrated here.

Why isn't it about the father's ego when the kids are given his last name? Why is it only considered family if it's the father's name?


Yeah PP, care to explain why using mom’s name is about “ego” but when it’s dad’s name, it’s “creating a new family” and “doing the best for your kids”?

Actually don’t bother. We know what the difference is. Hopefully you’ll wake up in 21st century soon.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2020 10:55     Subject: Hyphenated last names for kids
hyphenated names are terrible. Just give it as the middle name.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2020 10:54     Subject: Hyphenated last names for kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids got my (mom) last name. Their middle name is their dad's surname. I wasn't messing with hyphens.

I carried them, , I birthed them, I mostly raised them. They get my name. There was never a question about this and I would not have married a guy who didn't see the logic in this.

Pretty much every boyfriend I had agreed this makes the most sense.



Wow. So, you're not interested in creating a new family and doing what's best for your kids? There's your take, OP.

I have always found this to be really silly and hard on the kids in the long run. Who wants to deal with the hassle of a hyphenated last name, especially if they have no choice in the matter?

Thanks, PP, for proving that it's almost always about the mother's ego.


Why isn't it about the father's ego when the kids are given his last name? Why is it only considered family if it's the father's name?


Yeah PP, care to explain why using mom’s name is about “ego” but when it’s dad’s name, it’s “creating a new family” and “doing the best for your kids”?

Actually don’t bother. We know what the difference is. Hopefully you’ll wake up in 21st century soon.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2020 14:28     Subject: Hyphenated last names for kids
I have three young adults with hyphenated names. The only technical problems have been with airline frequent flyer accounts (which don’t matter much now). SATs etc were fine.
We all get tired of having to spell things out on the phone. Four syllables, 10-15 letters, easily pronounceable, but still a little bit of a pain.
Back in the day I couldn’t deal with what seemed to me to be supporting institutionalized patriarchy if automatically using the dad’s name alone. Flipping a coin would have been okay with me (but I suppose DH’s parents would have minded if I “lost”).
They are legal adults and often discuss dropping the first half (my name). Nobody has lifted a finger yet tho.
I think it’s cool that they are the only people on earth with their name. I’m also amused by the fact that their hyphenated UK origin (sounding) names sound either lefty-liberal OR hoitsy-toitsy OR African-American to different people.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2020 13:54     Subject: Re:Hyphenated last names for kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As a training manager hyphenated names are a nightmare in an LMS system. Hate them with the fire of a thousand suns.


Fix your system.


+1 that it should be fixed.



Training manager with a hyphenated last name chiming in to agree - this is absolutely hilarious. Good god I hate the simpletons in our profession.

I’ve had a hyphenated name since birth and always loved it. We have our kids a *different* hyphenated last name for the same general philosophical reason that most people who go this route use: our family is a combination of two wonderful families, and we wanted our names to reflect that.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2020 13:10     Subject: Hyphenated last names for kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids got my (mom) last name. Their middle name is their dad's surname. I wasn't messing with hyphens.

I carried them, , I birthed them, I mostly raised them. They get my name. There was never a question about this and I would not have married a guy who didn't see the logic in this.

Pretty much every boyfriend I had agreed this makes the most sense.



Wow. So, you're not interested in creating a new family and doing what's best for your kids? There's your take, OP.

I have always found this to be really silly and hard on the kids in the long run. Who wants to deal with the hassle of a hyphenated last name, especially if they have no choice in the matter?

Thanks, PP, for proving that it's almost always about the mother's ego.


Why isn't it about the father's ego when the kids are given his last name? Why is it only considered family if it's the father's name?
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2020 08:37     Subject: Hyphenated last names for kids
Anonymous wrote:My kids got my (mom) last name. Their middle name is their dad's surname. I wasn't messing with hyphens.

I carried them, , I birthed them, I mostly raised them. They get my name. There was never a question about this and I would not have married a guy who didn't see the logic in this.

Pretty much every boyfriend I had agreed this makes the most sense.



Wow. So, you're not interested in creating a new family and doing what's best for your kids? There's your take, OP.

I have always found this to be really silly and hard on the kids in the long run. Who wants to deal with the hassle of a hyphenated last name, especially if they have no choice in the matter?

Thanks, PP, for proving that it's almost always about the mother's ego.