It is interesting to see so many adult posters wishing their parents had pushed them more. I have to say we as a family are relentless pushers. At this point, we don't care much what kids say they want. They have to take both of our heritage languages and that is not negotiable. (Believe me, they try!) Practicing music is not negotiable. Sports, meh, they can do one thing, some thing, and that's OK with me. We emphasize fitness but do not care for organized sports generally.

So the short answer, I guess, is to figure out your non-negotiables for some things, listen to the kids in other things ,and let go in yet some others.

Anonymous wrote:I have a rule of thumb which I am not sure I "push" more than to encourage.

In order of importance:
Family, Academics, Community, Sports and Arts

We need family time first, then time to ensure school work can be completed, then enough time to do one community activity every quarter, then they need to get at least an hour of movement daily, and finally pick something that is related to cooking/music/drawing/creative building or design. To me, that makes a complete person.

+1
Its important to note the kid has to pick the art and sport activity.

We insist on at least one physical activity. It doesn't have to be a team and/or competitive sport but it has to get the kids moving on a regular basis several times a week. We encouraged music lessons but didn't force the kids to start or continue them, and both dropped them after a short time for various reasons. Beyond that, nothing organized - we expect them to read independently, do things to contribute to family and society, etc. but on their schedule and not in any organized fashion.

OP, you insist if they don't initiate. Obviously them initiaing is the ideal. One of the hardest parenting lessons, is patience, so maybe don't act or mention your "insistence" until you are quite uncomfortable.

Our oldest didn't start organized sports until 5th grade. First game, she scored a goal in soccer. We were too busy, as a family, before for many activitiees. We needed family time, calm predictible schedule, less busy (health challenges consumed us)

Yes, we insist on activities or sports.

I am so grateful that this is how I was raised. I had to play an instrument, volunteer and choose an activity. I never liked most sports but found a love for running that has stayed with me.

My parents required an instrument and a team sport and I hated them both. I don't do either as an adult, but I'm glad I studied the instrument and feel like it's given me some basic music literacy that I've enjoyed as a listener.

Not sure if I got anything out of the team sport.