Anonymous
Post 09/16/2020 14:56     Subject: What’s the biggest mistake you have ever made?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I went to the first school that offered me a full scholarship (based upon my PSAT score). My family, who were blue collar with six kids, had never been to college and were ecstatic because it was "a private school."

I did not even apply anywhere.

Now that I am older and in a higher social class, I realize that I should have gone to a MUCH better school (probably an Ivy). My standardized tests were off the charts. The college was much too easy for me (I got one B in 4 years, all the rest A's...with minimal work).

If I had gone to the best school I could have gotten into, my trajectory (e.g., who I dated, faculty contacts, work network, references, etc) would have been different. My parents had NO clue, nor did I. Everyone was happy because of the scholarship.

Not a tragedy, but I feel it would have changed a lot.


Wow, this is me, too. Exactly. To the point I checked the date to make sure I hadn't written it a while ago and forgotten. I truly feel it changed my life trajectory, and even now in my late 40s, I can't stop thinking of how my life might have been.


Similar, but I went to my big state school and wish I’d gone somewhere smaller where i could have had more help finding my direction. I was also afraid to move to anyplace where it snowed.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2020 14:38     Subject: What’s the biggest mistake you have ever made?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think it's just been one big long mistake of never believing enough in myself and acting accordingly. I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid to find out I don't have the potential and talent I think I do. It's even more pathetic than having no natural gifts and working really hard and believing you can get there.


I wish I couldn’t relate to this as much as I do. All the squandered opportunities because of this.


NP. A partner at a consulting firm once told me I was my own worst enemy. He wasn't wrong.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2020 14:37     Subject: What’s the biggest mistake you have ever made?
Anonymous wrote:I went to the first school that offered me a full scholarship (based upon my PSAT score). My family, who were blue collar with six kids, had never been to college and were ecstatic because it was "a private school."

I did not even apply anywhere.

Now that I am older and in a higher social class, I realize that I should have gone to a MUCH better school (probably an Ivy). My standardized tests were off the charts. The college was much too easy for me (I got one B in 4 years, all the rest A's...with minimal work).

If I had gone to the best school I could have gotten into, my trajectory (e.g., who I dated, faculty contacts, work network, references, etc) would have been different. My parents had NO clue, nor did I. Everyone was happy because of the scholarship.

Not a tragedy, but I feel it would have changed a lot.


Wow, this is me, too. Exactly. To the point I checked the date to make sure I hadn't written it a while ago and forgotten. I truly feel it changed my life trajectory, and even now in my late 40s, I can't stop thinking of how my life might have been.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2020 14:29     Subject: What’s the biggest mistake you have ever made?
Anonymous wrote:I think it's just been one big long mistake of never believing enough in myself and acting accordingly. I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid to find out I don't have the potential and talent I think I do. It's even more pathetic than having no natural gifts and working really hard and believing you can get there.


I wish I couldn’t relate to this as much as I do. All the squandered opportunities because of this.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2020 14:16     Subject: What’s the biggest mistake you have ever made?
Majoring in art history. I was convinced I was going to become a paid docent at some famous museum.

Nope. Instead, I just have a lot of student debt and a part time job in an unrelated field.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2020 13:57     Subject: What’s the biggest mistake you have ever made?
Anonymous wrote:Biggest regret is not going to college out of high school - family could not afford it, I was pretty sheltered. I didn't have knowledge or confidence to try. Eventually did complete the night school endurance test and earned my bachelors. My life is good, but I wish I'd had the college experience


I am doing this now. College was never an option for me. I was pretty smart but no one in my family has ever been to college and they did not encourage some to either. I just assumed it was only for rich people. Husband convinced me to go back later in life, I will graduate with my B.A. in June at age 32. However doing it while trying to raise 2 kids, work full time and add in the pandemic has been a literal nightmare. I can’t even imagine what it would have been like to go to college and not have a million other responsibilities. Sounds like a dream.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2020 13:42     Subject: What’s the biggest mistake you have ever made?
I think it's just been one big long mistake of never believing enough in myself and acting accordingly. I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid to find out I don't have the potential and talent I think I do. It's even more pathetic than having no natural gifts and working really hard and believing you can get there.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2020 13:32     Subject: What’s the biggest mistake you have ever made?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not noticing the signs that my husband was clinically depressed before he killed himself.


I’m so sorry. Sending love.


+1 sorry, PP


+2 this is heartbreaking. I'm sure you did the absolutely best you could with the information you had at the time. There's a reason that people say "the unthinkable happened" - millions and millions of people are depressed, and only a very tiny tiny fraction of them commit suicide. I hope you can find some peace.


Thank you. It is still awful. On TV they show the signs (people die by suicide in TV all the time). It’s heartbreaking to think I missed it. I was very ill and so were the kids at the time. I miss him so much. So much.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2020 12:51     Subject: Re:What’s the biggest mistake you have ever made?
Missed an exam in the first semester of college. The listed exam times for every course on a massive online, text-based matrix. I misread the matrix and read that it was a PM exam (it was actually am). Day before the exam I was in the library studying with friends talking about "tomorrow's exam" - so nothing registered. It was so astoundingly stressful, and this was a massive public school where shit like this doesn't get a pass (I went to a private law school in the US - they would have worked something out for me). Instead, they let me take the exam the following summer. Guess how well I did on that multiple choice 20th century Russian history exam 8 months later?

It sounds like a dumb thing in the grand scheme of life, but 23 years later if I think about it I get a pit in my stomach. And it was an unquestionable "mistake". Not just a "regret" or a black hole of bad decisions. Like, I regret dating my emotionally abusive college boyfriend for 2.5 years, but that whole period was full of mini mistakes, and learning experiences, and a whole lot of grey chaos - but very few "black or white" decisions that could be later deemed "mistakes".
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2020 12:10     Subject: What’s the biggest mistake you have ever made?
I went to the first school that offered me a full scholarship (based upon my PSAT score). My family, who were blue collar with six kids, had never been to college and were ecstatic because it was "a private school."

I did not even apply anywhere.

Now that I am older and in a higher social class, I realize that I should have gone to a MUCH better school (probably an Ivy). My standardized tests were off the charts. The college was much too easy for me (I got one B in 4 years, all the rest A's...with minimal work).

If I had gone to the best school I could have gotten into, my trajectory (e.g., who I dated, faculty contacts, work network, references, etc) would have been different. My parents had NO clue, nor did I. Everyone was happy because of the scholarship.

Not a tragedy, but I feel it would have changed a lot.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2020 12:05     Subject: What’s the biggest mistake you have ever made?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As a tired new mom, I left my son unbuckled in his car seat for 2 hours while driving. Ugh. The guilt.


A lot of us have done that once. I was exhausted, ran an errand with my son and took him out to feed/change him and forgot to put the buckle on. Luckily I realized it pretty quickly and pulled over.

Really??? You must not have much life experience if this is all you got.


She realizes how bad this could have been.

You obviously don't get it.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2020 12:03     Subject: What’s the biggest mistake you have ever made?
Anonymous wrote:As a tired new mom, I left my son unbuckled in his car seat for 2 hours while driving. Ugh. The guilt. [/quote

I know someone who took their crying baby out of the car seat to breastfeed it in the backseat (while husband was driving). In those few minutes the car crashed and the baby was killed.

Always pull over.

And never give into the child's protests. If they know you never drive without the seatbelt. The protests die down.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2020 11:54     Subject: What’s the biggest mistake you have ever made?
Marrying someone with pretty severe anxiety disorder and believing it'd get better because he wanted it to. Treatment only goes so far sometimes and it's really hard having a partner that can't be depended on for anyhting b/c their anxiety may take over at any moment
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2020 11:02     Subject: What’s the biggest mistake you have ever made?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not noticing the signs that my husband was clinically depressed before he killed himself.


I’m so sorry. Sending love.


I'm incredibly sorry too. Please dont blame yourself!!
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2020 11:02     Subject: What’s the biggest mistake you have ever made?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As a tired new mom, I left my son unbuckled in his car seat for 2 hours while driving. Ugh. The guilt.


I think we have all done that.


+1
I drove with my baby on the highway unbuckled once. He's almost 7 and I still think about it.