Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:spouse and I recently started swapping childcare with a couple friend of ours during COVID and it’s helped, a lot! Is that something you could explore?

whoops, I forgot a word! it’s fixed now.

Anonymous wrote:of course you should wait until things go back to normal. Everyone is stressed out right now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just want to say to any males who are reading threads here: do your share of housework and childcare! Literally every single woman I know does way, way more.

I just want to say STFU. I have always done more than my share of housework and childcare, and I don’t need any shrill hectoring from you.

DP, then it doesn't apply to you. But it sure seems to have struck a chord so maybe you don't do as much as you think.

Anonymous wrote:Opposite. I have realized how absolutely amazing he is. He says the same about me. I don't think I would have survived COVID with any other family. Also have great kids with an awesome sense of humor. The things my kids say make DH and I laugh so much that our bellies ache. I am counting all my blessings. I am sure we are not envy-worthy to people who are looking at us from the outside. That is another blessing. We are flying beneath the radar of jealousy and envy.

Anonymous wrote:

C’mon y’all it’s 2020.
Ain’t no ordinance stating that all women gotta cook and clean and do laundry etc no more.
That shit been gone.
If you ain’t want that RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING workload and you find yourself stuck in that type of situation with your husband then that’s on YOU
Cause your ass should’ve nipped it in the bud off the break.
Y’all could have been said, “Help out honey” YEARS AGO but you either didn’t say anything (totally inconceivable for a woman, I know) or you just whined and complained but you never really put your foot down (far more likely scenario)

That’s on you ladies.
It’s your man - they don’t come perfect you got to mold em.

WTF?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:spouse and I recently started swapping childcare with a couple friend of ours during COVID and it’s helped, a lot! Is that something you could explore?

whoops, I forgot a word! it’s fixed now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has always helped me but to be honest it happened when I got seriously sick. I think it scared him. Since then he tries to do everything to help. Cooks, cleans, takes care of the pets, grocery shops. You name it he does it. It may not be how I would do it but it gets done. I am so grateful too.

I agree with one of the posters. Men can't read minds like we women can. You have to ask for specific help. They don't think like we do. They need help too.

Not disparaging men at all. They just don't see things the way women do. I could not do my husband's job so I don't expect him to know how to do mine.

My husband and I both work. Neither of us could do the other’s paid job.

It is our joint responsibility to run the household and I expect him as my life partner to see what needs to be done, and to do more than “help”.

DP, exactly.

Anonymous wrote:spouse and I recently started swapping childcare with a couple friend of ours during COVID and it’s helped, a lot! Is that something you could explore?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has always helped me but to be honest it happened when I got seriously sick. I think it scared him. Since then he tries to do everything to help. Cooks, cleans, takes care of the pets, grocery shops. You name it he does it. It may not be how I would do it but it gets done. I am so grateful too.

I agree with one of the posters. Men can't read minds like we women can. You have to ask for specific help. They don't think like we do. They need help too.

Not disparaging men at all. They just don't see things the way women do. I could not do my husband's job so I don't expect him to know how to do mine.

My husband and I both work. Neither of us could do the other’s paid job.

It is our joint responsibility to run the household and I expect him as my life partner to see what needs to be done, and to do more than “help”.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:spouse and I recently started swapping with a couple friend of ours during COVID and it’s helped, a lot! Is that something you could explore?

Swapping what? Kids? Masks? Dirty dishes?

Anonymous wrote:When Wuhan opened after the pandemic peaked there, guess what? There was a run on the divorce office.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a DW and realized I'm the worse spouse. DH is 99 percent of time time calm as a cucumber, and I'm irritated as hell. I try to manage the irritation, but I'm only 90 percent successful.

Don’t conflate “calm as a cucumber” with Mr. I Don’t Care About Anything or Anyone Other than Work.
Making no decisions and taking no responsibilities in the home front is not a cool dude cucumber. It’s a ManChild.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:C’mon y’all it’s 2020.
Ain’t no ordinance stating that all women gotta cook and clean and do laundry etc no more.
That shit been gone.
If you ain’t want that RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING workload and you find yourself stuck in that type of situation with your husband then that’s on YOU
Cause your ass should’ve nipped it in the bud off the break.
Y’all could have been said, “Help out honey” YEARS AGO but you either didn’t say anything (totally inconceivable for a woman, I know) or you just whined and complained but you never really put your foot down (far more likely scenario)

That’s on you ladies.
It’s your man - they don’t come perfect you got to mold em.

The arrogance of this. You really cant change men. You can leave em, and that's maybe a mistake these women made, but you cant change em.

You should know that by now.

She's not suggesting changing it, but working with the differences rather than against them.

No she's certainly not.
"they don’t come perfect you got to mold em."

The same way you "mold" expectations in any relationship