Then don't

Pp - adding - I think the additional hormones make some women slightly depressed. Not enough for PPD, but enough to mess with your head. It might not be the actual act of bf ing but the hormones involved.

I can’t relate - I nursed both of mine for over a year - but if it makes you feel down, it’s totally ok to quit.

-signed, mom of tweens/teens who realizes that crap matters less than baby moms think.

Echoing all the other PP - seriously, just give it up if it's making you miserable.

I think it's very reasonable to acknowledge that it's technically the best form of nutrition for baby, and still feel ok about giving it up. Formula will be absolutely fine and your child will grow up healthy.

I'm still breastfeeding at two years, partly because I love it. Couldn't imagine continuing if I hated it. But there are other things I do which are not the ''very best' for my child. I let my kid watch more TV than recommended by the AAP - sure I'm happy to acknowledge that it's better for him if he watched less but he'll be absolutely fine with the current level.

There will always be a hundred topics to angst over as a parent. I've heard they get more complex as the kids get older

Anonymous wrote:Totally fine if you want to formula feed. I get a hormonal rush from breastfeeding and love the quiet time, but if you don't feel that, then you don't have to continue. Two things, though:

1) You're still going to have to comfort your child (who sounds like he needs a lot of comfort/closeness). It's not like you're going to stop breastfeeding and then your child won't need more of your time/physical presence. You'll probably still feel tied down. Plus some of the time you're spending breastfeeding will be taken up by preparing and washing bottles.

2) You can sleep train in a couple months and then you won't have to breastfeed as much/at all at night.

Do you think OP doesn't know this? How incredibly condescending.

I loved it. I’m a SAHM. But if Similac came out of my boobs I’d feed that. For me it’s convenience and snuggling. If I pumped? Fuhgeddaboutit. You have the blessing of this internet stranger to stop nursing as enjoy your baby.

Anonymous wrote:It wasn’t a love-fest with me either but I kept going. It really does get easier. But, bottom line, there are sacrifices we make as mothers for our children. It’s just the way life is. Don’t expect to love every aspect of motherhood and you’ll be better off in the long run.

I hate this argument. OP didn't say it was "not a love-fest", she said it's painful and physically and emotionally draining. Of course we all sacrifice for our children, and I'm sure OP has made many sacrifices already and will make many more. Breastfeeding doesn't always get easier, and we're very lucky to live in a time when formula is available and we have clean water to use to make it.

Anonymous wrote:This idea that we're supposed to all love breastfeeding is ridiculous.

I'm so happy for the people who cherish it, but that isn't the case for so many people, especially at the beginning.

Why do we set expectations so high? It only serves to disappoint.

Shoot for the moon, and if you miss you’ll land among the stars.

Let go of the guilt OP! I hated it too. I also have flat nipples and it hurt and I got mastitis 3 times bc I got so irritated. Pumping sucked. I quit after 5 months and the day he was fully weaned I felt such a burden lift. If I every have another kid I'm going right to formula.

I also hated breastfeeding. I ended up pumping for a few months and was fine with the decision. If I had a second kid, it would be straight to formula. I never felt that bond through breastfeeding...just stress. It felt like I was headed straight for depression.

Totally fine if you want to formula feed. I get a hormonal rush from breastfeeding and love the quiet time, but if you don't feel that, then you don't have to continue. Two things, though:

1) You're still going to have to comfort your child (who sounds like he needs a lot of comfort/closeness). It's not like you're going to stop breastfeeding and then your child won't need more of your time/physical presence. You'll probably still feel tied down. Plus some of the time you're spending breastfeeding will be taken up by preparing and washing bottles.

2) You can sleep train in a couple months and then you won't have to breastfeed as much/at all at night.

Anonymous wrote:It wasn’t a love-fest with me either but I kept going. It really does get easier. But, bottom line, there are sacrifices we make as mothers for our children. It’s just the way life is. Don’t expect to love every aspect of motherhood and you’ll be better off in the long run.

I feel this way too. It's like, I don't love changing diapers, but my child needs their diaper changed, and so I do it.

Obviously there are alternatives with breast feeding, and I don't think shaming mothers is productive. But I think part of the problem is that people set mothers up to think that it's all just a gently nursing baby in a glowing nursery and total peace and comfort, when the reality is vastly different.

This idea that we're supposed to all love breastfeeding is ridiculous.

I'm so happy for the people who cherish it, but that isn't the case for so many people, especially at the beginning.

Why do we set expectations so high? It only serves to disappoint.

I quit after 6 weeks. One of the best decisions i made. The fog started to lift and I started feeling better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I nursed both my kids till 1.5 years of age.

If I hated it at 4 months I would have stopped.

You can stop! No guilt. My kids are teens now—I have no clue which of their friends were breast or bottle fed—it doesn’t matter!

My kids were adopted so I have no dog in this fight but the rational of “it doesn’t matter because I can’t tell now” makes no sense.

First, you can never prove a negative. You can never say how much better off someone would have been if X happened.

Second, your statement assumes that this X would be known and directly correlate.

Third, what you observe in your kids contemporaries doesn’t take into account that you may not be the greatest observer.

I don’t mean to attack you, PP. It’s this rationale of “it doesn’t matter if you can’t tell when the kid is a teen” that is so pernicious on this forum.

WAMP wamp wamp, wamp-wamp wamp-wamp