Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Quick update is that I got a call from the coach today. He noticed my son “wasn’t having fun” yesterday and his coach and parental antennae went up. Without giving too many specifics I told him I appreciated the call and mentioned while DS was being given a hard time by his teammates, we were working on mental toughness.

I don’t know if someone else said something to him, but I felt like he might have been fishing for information.

Nonetheless, initially appreciated the call and we both said we’d keep our eyes on this.

We’ll each this over the next few weeks. All good. And thanks for all the great advice here DCUM.

Best advice on this thread was to tell your son to punch the kid square in the face if it happens again.

No it wasn't. Punching is how you handle physical bullying. Verbal bullying has to be handled verbally. If a kid tells you you suck and you punch him, then your teammates will rightly blame you and the problem will get much worse.

Anonymous wrote:I haven't seen a situation exactly like this, but I did catch my son being quite critical of a particular thing another kid was doing (e.g., "I can't pass you the ball, because whenever I do you always do X, Y, and Z.") I had a talk with him and stressed that it wasn't helpful to say things like that - the coach will take care of whatever the perceived problem is with the kid, and his job was to just stay quiet about it and do his personal best.

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, bullying never stops until the bullied kid practices very hard. This not only improves his skills but more importantly greatly improves his/her self-confidence.

Being new to any team, there’s always a feeling of isolation unless the player joins with his/her friends too. This happened to my DD when she joined a team 2 years ago. While she was a decent player, she was new to the travel team environment. Hence, she didn’t understand some of the positioning and terminologies. She was fine after one season. In addition, she practiced a lot on her own and I noticed not only a spike in her skills but a huge spike in her confidence too. She’s now U13.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Quick update is that I got a call from the coach today. He noticed my son “wasn’t having fun” yesterday and his coach and parental antennae went up. Without giving too many specifics I told him I appreciated the call and mentioned while DS was being given a hard time by his teammates, we were working on mental toughness.

I don’t know if someone else said something to him, but I felt like he might have been fishing for information.

Nonetheless, initially appreciated the call and we both said we’d keep our eyes on this.

We’ll each this over the next few weeks. All good. And thanks for all the great advice here DCUM.

Best advice on this thread was to tell your son to punch the kid square in the face if it happens again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Quick update is that I got a call from the coach today. He noticed my son “wasn’t having fun” yesterday and his coach and parental antennae went up. Without giving too many specifics I told him I appreciated the call and mentioned while DS was being given a hard time by his teammates, we were working on mental toughness.

I don’t know if someone else said something to him, but I felt like he might have been fishing for information.

Nonetheless, initially appreciated the call and we both said we’d keep our eyes on this.

We’ll each this over the next few weeks. All good. And thanks for all the great advice here DCUM.

Best advice on this thread was to tell your son to punch the kid square in the face if it happens again.

Unfortunately, bullying never stops until the bullied kid practices very hard. [i]This not only improves his skills but more importantly greatly improves his/her self-confidence.

Being new to any team, there’s always a feeling of isolation unless the player joins with his/her friends too. This happened to my DD when she joined a team 2 years ago. While she was a decent player, she was new to the travel team environment. Hence, she didn’t understand some of the positioning and terminologies. She was fine after one season. In addition, she practiced a lot on her own and I noticed not only a spike in her skills but a huge spike in her confidence too. She’s now U13.


This wasn't my experience, on the boys' side. I was one of the best players on the team, but for social reasons wholly unrelated to the team, I was bullied by the older kids. For the entire season. Working harder and outperforming them did not change anything for the better. Boys aged 13-15 are usually dicks because they're going through so much developmentally (physically and emptionally) that they have trouble controlling themselves. And socially, they are so afraid of being "weak" that they will find any reason to single anyone else out.


Boys at that age can be very cruel. So did you stay with the team or leave?


This was years ago, in a different sport that wasn't single age (it was a team of 13, 14, 15 year olds). I was 13. They were 15 (think about that - I was just out of 7th grade, they were just out of freshman year). I gutted it out that first year, proved myself on the field, dreaded every practice and game. Got into 2 fistfights, and the coaches made us both run laps for 30 minutes (coaches otherwise ignored it because the team was very good and they were bad coaches (former semi-pro players with no understanding of youth development)). But I stayed because it was the best team in the area to play on, and I really loved the sport. Talk about a Hobson's choice. The next year, one year older and a veteran and one of the biggest contributers, the 15 yos left me alone. I tried to help the younger kids, same the following year. it still makes me mad. If any of my kids ever bullies another kid, especially a younger kid, game over.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Quick update is that I got a call from the coach today. He noticed my son “wasn’t having fun” yesterday and his coach and parental antennae went up. Without giving too many specifics I told him I appreciated the call and mentioned while DS was being given a hard time by his teammates, we were working on mental toughness.

I don’t know if someone else said something to him, but I felt like he might have been fishing for information.

Nonetheless, initially appreciated the call and we both said we’d keep our eyes on this.

We’ll each this over the next few weeks. All good. And thanks for all the great advice here DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, bullying never stops until the bullied kid practices very hard. [i]This not only improves his skills but more importantly greatly improves his/her self-confidence.

Being new to any team, there’s always a feeling of isolation unless the player joins with his/her friends too. This happened to my DD when she joined a team 2 years ago. While she was a decent player, she was new to the travel team environment. Hence, she didn’t understand some of the positioning and terminologies. She was fine after one season. In addition, she practiced a lot on her own and I noticed not only a spike in her skills but a huge spike in her confidence too. She’s now U13.

This wasn't my experience, on the boys' side. I was one of the best players on the team, but for social reasons wholly unrelated to the team, I was bullied by the older kids. For the entire season. Working harder and outperforming them did not change anything for the better. Boys aged 13-15 are usually dicks because they're going through so much developmentally (physically and emptionally) that they have trouble controlling themselves. And socially, they are so afraid of being "weak" that they will find any reason to single anyone else out.

Boys at that age can be very cruel. So did you stay with the team or leave?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, bullying never stops until the bullied kid practices very hard. [i]This not only improves his skills but more importantly greatly improves his/her self-confidence.

Being new to any team, there’s always a feeling of isolation unless the player joins with his/her friends too. This happened to my DD when she joined a team 2 years ago. While she was a decent player, she was new to the travel team environment. Hence, she didn’t understand some of the positioning and terminologies. She was fine after one season. In addition, she practiced a lot on her own and I noticed not only a spike in her skills but a huge spike in her confidence too. She’s now U13.

This wasn't my experience, on the boys' side. I was one of the best players on the team, but for social reasons wholly unrelated to the team, I was bullied by the older kids. For the entire season. Working harder and outperforming them did not change anything for the better. Boys aged 13-15 are usually dicks because they're going through so much developmentally (physically and emptionally) that they have trouble controlling themselves. And socially, they are so afraid of being "weak" that they will find any reason to single anyone else out.

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, bullying never stops until the bullied kid practices very hard. [i]This not only improves his skills but more importantly greatly improves his/her self-confidence.

Being new to any team, there’s always a feeling of isolation unless the player joins with his/her friends too. This happened to my DD when she joined a team 2 years ago. While she was a decent player, she was new to the travel team environment. Hence, she didn’t understand some of the positioning and terminologies. She was fine after one season. In addition, she practiced a lot on her own and I noticed not only a spike in her skills but a huge spike in her confidence too. She’s now U13.