Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to follow your heart, OP. But as someone who was on the brink of DE for my first child, but then ended up having 2 children (not twins) with my own eggs, I consider myself as having won the jackpot and don't need to complicate lives with a third via DE. I was and am a huge supporter of donor eggs, and I don't want to feel like you need extra justification just because you already have 2 kids, but something about it feels a bit frivolous to me under your circumstances.

I agree with this. I am a super pro-choice feminist and I have no problem with donor eggs, with IUI, with IVF, or with surrogacy, but something about this squicks me out a bit.

This is just straight up prejudice against infertile people. Nobody would be over in the TTC forum saying it squicked them out a bit for a poster to be considering a third or that she was selfish.

Uhhh, we're ALL infertile people here, saying that there is more to consider than just whether the OP wants the child. And go read the other forums, PLENTY of people say posters are being selfish for considering another child when they're too old or only are having the another to try for a different sex, etc. For example: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/908702.page

My RE tried to reassure me recently by telling me she has patients in their early 50's having success, so it won't be too late for me. Sorry, but just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD, natural conception or with ART. OP asked for opinions and got opinions, that's not prejudice.

I am the third child with a large age gap, and I HATE it. I spent my entire childhood feeling like the party was over before I even got there. My siblings have all kinds of memories and insider stories that I have to hear about secondhand. By the time I was in high school, they sometimes skipped holidays to travel with friends or spend with boyfriends and girlfriends. My parents did their best, but I remember feeling bored and lonely.

Now as adults, my older brother and sister are still closer than I am to either. It also sucks that by the time I got around to having kids, our parents were less interested and able to babysit. My kids' cousins on that side are all in college or graduated while my oldest is in middle school.

I was adamant that we had our kids closer together.