Anonymous wrote:Never talk.poorly about your spouse to your family.

+ 1

Anonymous wrote:I would tell a man (and will tell my son):

1. Do not get married unless she is way out of your league in terms of looks, income, assets, social status.
2. Keep finances separate.
3. Do not entangle pre-marital assets.
4. Keep a safe deposit box in another state with enough cash to hire a lawyer and enough money to live off for six months.
5. During the marriage, withdraw cash from your paycheck every two weeks and buy gold coins. Keep them in the safe deposit box.

This is advice if planning to divorce, not get married.

Only get married once you decided to procreate. If no kids are involved, there is no reason to get married as both men and women are merrier by the dozen.

Anonymous wrote:Always have your own source of income. Never completely give up a career or your own retirement.

Best.advice.ever to your kids

You NEVER know what life will throw at you or how people can change in 10, 20, 30 years...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell a man (and will tell my son):

1. Do not get married unless she is way out of your league in terms of looks, income, assets, social status.
2. Keep finances separate.
3. Do not entangle pre-marital assets.
4. Keep a safe deposit box in another state with enough cash to hire a lawyer and enough money to live off for six months.
5. During the marriage, withdraw cash from your paycheck every two weeks and buy gold coins. Keep them in the safe deposit box.

And I will tell my daughter not to marry a misogynist prepper, so hopefully we'll never have to meet.

Gold coins have nothing to do with prepping. They are easily converted to cash and their value tends to rise with inflation, so better than storing cash in the safe deposit box.

Anonymous wrote:I would tell a man (and will tell my son):

1. Do not get married unless she is way out of your league in terms of looks, income, assets, social status.
2. Keep finances separate.
3. Do not entangle pre-marital assets.
4. Keep a safe deposit box in another state with enough cash to hire a lawyer and enough money to live off for six months.
5. During the marriage, withdraw cash from your paycheck every two weeks and buy gold coins. Keep them in the safe deposit box.

And I will tell my daughter not to marry a misogynist prepper, so hopefully we'll never have to meet.

Your marriage needs care. Your friends and family deserve a good wedding, a good baby shower, a good lots of things, but so do you and your spouse. Remember that when making plans. Don’t get fooled into the mindset of “You’re married, you can do that anytime”.

Remember that you fell in love by spending meaningful and wholesome time together and continue to do that in your marriage. Plan your work schedules acordingly.

Know that while everybody in a marriage is an adult and is capable of meeting their own needs, that isn’t why you are married. Remember to court each other.

Know that views and oppinions are not set in stone. My husband has become more politically liberal since we got married. I have not.

I am less willing to be told what to do by church leaders and other people in the community then I once was. I tell my husband “I take requests, not assignments”. I have become more aware that my time, energy and money are valuable, more so then I was when we first got married.

My husband always wanted to live in a walkable downtown area… and he has only recently admitted that they don’t work as well as advertised, at least not for us.

He has seen the value in a neighborhood pool and even in those smaller pools people have in their yard, the kind you get in walmart. When we got married, he had no idea why anybody would want to spend any time at a pool.

When you talk about things, know that you are getting to know the type of person not the views.

Know that divorce is always an option. It shouldn’t be taken lightly, though nobody should have to live with a situation that is untenable to them. People change over time, the fun party boy becomes an alcoholic, the person who always had a place for a buddy to crash was fine until he couldn’t understand why you didn’t want to be around a friend who groped you or why being woken up once too many times in the middle of the night was no longer what you wanted to be doing. The person who loved to feed the homeless couldn’t be bothered to have dinner with you. Knowing that you don’t have to stay if something gets too bad is worth keeping in mind.

I would tell a man (and will tell my son):

1. Do not get married unless she is way out of your league in terms of looks, income, assets, social status.
2. Keep finances separate.
3. Do not entangle pre-marital assets.
4. Keep a safe deposit box in another state with enough cash to hire a lawyer and enough money to live off for six months.
5. During the marriage, withdraw cash from your paycheck every two weeks and buy gold coins. Keep them in the safe deposit box.

Always have your own source of income. Never completely give up a career or your own retirement.

Take everything with a teaspoon of love. (Someone actually gave us a teaspoon with a heart-shaped spoon with this advice). People get stressed and tired and annoyed and anxious, but if you add a teaspoon of love to whatever you spouse is saying (or doing) it becomes a lot easier to let the small things go. Note, it is only a teaspoon, so abuse of any sort should not be ignored.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't combine funds.

Actually mine is the opposite. Do combine them.

+1

We do both and it works quite well. But we also both work so we both bring in money.

Commit to saving money early on to avoid any big financial stress down the road.

As much as your in laws drive you nuts, bite your tongue. Only say something if there is some outlandish deliberate wrong done to you.

As much as they annoy you, remind yourself of how much your own family annoys you. Seek out qualities in your in laws that are good and focus on that and always remember that your own family isn't perfect gets on your nerves too.

Don't get married until you have each witnessed the other in a terrible circumstance. How does that person react? Do they taken ownership? Do they blame others, blame you even? Do they act irrationally?

It's key to see how the other reacts. Also, do a lot of digging. Every family covers up, intentionally or not. Ask pointed questions about relatives, try to see why XX looks so miserable. I noticed it was odd early on that my in laws while presenting to be happily married, they had issues. Learned later, they can't stand each other and fought all the time when my spouse was growing up. It affected my spouse and I see it's affects in our marriage today. It's not pretty.

Anonymous wrote:Never talk.poorly about your spouse to your family.

+ 100