Yay! Anxiety is real OP, it takes a lot of practice.

My dh still can't parallel park, but I had to for years, so finally got.it down.

OP here. We’ve been practicing daily and dc is now able to parallel park consistently! Hoping to attempt test by the end of the month. We are in Pa so parallel parking is required.

This may be oversimplifying, but I became a better driver after having to caddy at a local golf course when I was younger. You could try golf carts and go karts just to let him get some proactive practice

My brother and uncle have never driven. My uncle is extremely dyslexic, my brother has a mildly dyslexic. There’s a correlation, proven in research; both can pass the written test, but driving is out of the question.

I am HFA. I got a license at 16 with the rest of my friends but never had any desire to drive and had too much anxiety about it. In my 30s, when I had small children and moved out to the suburbs I hired a driving instructor who taught me how to drive all over again.

Anonymous wrote:Drive more in less crowded conditions to build confidence.

Yes! I posted below and this is absolutely the way to go for an anxious driver.

I am very intelligent and I truly suck at driving. I have poor spatial awareness and driving on highways makes me very anxious. What works for me is repetition. The first time I go somewhere I go at an off time and get used to the particulars of the route. I tend to go the same route every time even if another route is faster. I think if your daughter continues to practice, she can be proficient.

Thankfully, you do NOT have to parallel park on the Maryland driver's test anymore!

Drive more in less crowded conditions to build confidence.

Always divide the skill into as many small steps as possible and learn each one at the time and only move to the next once the firs tone is truly easy peasy. .

Some people who take money for teaching driving do put too much pressure too fast on kids so they fail so there is more business... so be careful and do always demand slow progress..

because at the end.. slowing down takes you faster to the destination then discouragement and setbacks of too fast too much.

OP, you need to slow down. You need to stop looking for expensive driving lessons and find simple school with someone who is very organized as a teacher.

With your kid it is a matter of someone who knows how the kids like your kid learn. Your kid does not process everything at once so you need to find someone who is able to very carefully teach ONE skill at the time, from very simple baby steps slowly building the challenge and never overchallenge over the ability at the current level. It has to be pleasurable experience. Challenging but not overwhelming. A kids mind needs to stay open and it is very discouraging for those kids when they can not do something seemingly easy so this becomes catch 22. The more they try without believing they can do it, the more they fail.

So go back to lower skills, have them practice what they know to build some confidence, plenty of prizes.
Baby step up every skill ONE sill at the time and ONE only. Do not throw them into different unknown fast roads. Pick ONE small streach.. very easy,
at time when there is NO cars first, so you need to be early or late,, do this streach million times from exit 1 to exit 2.. and back..
untillt hey know it by heart. Then add one more exit and practice this until cows come home then add a new one..

but NEVER add a new challenge until the first one is practiced ad nauseum and they ask for more.

You need to undersand that the challenge is to put together:
control of the car
speed
distance between other cars
reading signs all at the same time
watching the traffic
minding the weather
controlling the car
and one's own fear.

if he knows the car well and feels it this is first and easiest..
then he needs to know how to read signs and fast and this is a skill too...
once they know it
they need to learn to control the car on the road really really well
then they need to be very confident they can do this
then you add very slow traffic and only one road to perfection
then you go to the faster road as this ups the game beyond comprehension
so you only do little litlte at the time and ONLY go up when THEY are ready not you.

parallel parking, forget it now. just let them do the road
and once they will feel good about themselves they will paralel park without any problems
by themselves.. just by understanding the process...


How many times did you let them practice with the metal cars? Do buy few matchbox cars
and take this picture and let them practice mind coordination. It is very helpful for t hem to visualize
what they need to do and make the brain connection.

Do print step by step instructions. Have them learn by heart and make it simple steps. Not too much words.
Just step1.. this.. step 2. this.. step 3 this.. Do not make it all one process.. do chop it into small steps.

This picture and few metal matchbox cars will do wonders. Do try:

It took me 5 times to pass. I was fine driving on the road, but the parallel parking was so anxiety inducing (I have not parallel parked since).

You ask about online drivers ed courses. If you think there are particular things that would help your kid, I bet you could find them on youtube. Parallel parking is no longer required in MD for the test, but I wanted my kid to learn it, so we found some youtube examples, then we went out and she watched me parallel park (both from inside and outside of the car), and then we got some cones and flags and an empty road, and she practiced until she got it. Practicing parallel parking significantly improved her understanding of where the car was, and it made her a better overall driver.

If you can identify the particular issues, we might be able to help. My DD deals with anxiety, so the very first thing I taught her is how to safely bail off a road. If she gets overwhelmed or anxious, she needs to be able to get herself to safety. Hopefully it's a nice parking lot or side street, but it might be a shoulder of a highway. I needed to know she knew how to keep herself safe. She was also often stressed about knowing where she was going, having enough time to make transitions across multiple lanes of traffic, navigating from 95 to 695 and so on. She's become a lot more comfortable with GPS, but when we started I'd lay out our plan on a paper map so she'd have an overview, then we'd follow the GPS. Sometimes she'd get off track which was no big deal because we'd already practiced how to bail off a road. She could get somewhere safe and figure out her new plan. Practicing how to recover from the errors (missed exits, turning the wrong way down a one way road, getting lost) is helpful in achieving some self confidence. Driving around in circles at the local empty shopping mall wasn't helpful for her once she got the basics down.

If ultimately you and your child can't figure out a way for your child to be a safe driver, then you figure out how that works. What's in walking distance? Bicycling distance? How expensive are ubers? Where can DC live to not need to drive? There are solutions even there.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, speaking from experience, sounds like your teen may never be a skilled driver and you should move somewhere with buses/trains/bike lanes/a street grid that’s walkable.

I am exactly like your teen, always have been, and I’m 40 with a masters degree in computer science (so, you know, reasonably “smart”). I think I’m missing the spatial awareness part of my brain. I do have a license, but I almost never drive and when I do I never go on highways. I’m very happy living in a walkable, transit-accessible neighborhood of DC.

A couple of us in my family are on the autistic spectrum and hate driving. For us, it's the not having a theory of mind. We can't anticipate or figure out what other drivers are likely to do, can't tell if the other guy sees us, is likely to stop. Is preparing to merge, etc. Very frustrating and there seems to be no making it better. Huge fan of self driving cars. Let the algorithms figure out what the other dude is doing/is likely to do

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Still teaching my 18 yr old how to drive. Expensive lessons for years are getting us nowhere. Should I get my dc tested for learning disabilities? Before you act like an ass, my dc has pretty much every other life skill you can imagine. Dc simply cannot parallel park or drive on busy roads. Permit is about to expire for the second time (had to be renewed). Dc has not taken the driver's test yet. dc desperately wants to become a licensed driver and their quality of life has declined (We are in an area with no public transportation). What are kid's options? Any online drivers ed courses (to take again?)?

Two pairs of really good walking shoes would be cheaper than a starter BMW. If they get liquored up on a Friday night and crash into the Old Oak Tree at Deadman's Curve the only thing to be injured will be their dignity. Count your blessings.

Uhh for all you know her kid doesn’t drink and the parents aren’t buying a BMW...