Six in childhood at the same time generally (not always, but more than people admit) means the parents are relying on the older kids to be pseudo-parents and help out more than is probably developmentally appropriate. Even if you love your siblings, often the loss of your own childhood leads to lasting resentment.

Over 4

Even 3. All the parents of 3 complain incessantly and try to pawn their kids off on others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. College not really a huge concern bc BYU is very cheap and that’s the gold standard. If you don’t get in there the state schools out west are cheaper in state than the ones here.

They better not like tea or coffee! Or, gasp, dating!

You can date after age 16 as a Mormon.

I don't think there is an amount that makes one a weirdo. Unless you have many with different women/men. That starts teetering on weird.

In today's world over 2. 3 is an extravagance, 4 is ridiculous. 5 or more is plain selfish and attention-seeking. The only exception is if you are fostering/adopting kids.

4 or more seems to be a statement. Of what varies widely; wealth, religious beliefs, traditional values.

I’m from a family of 4 children and we felt like a big family growing up in the 70s and 80s.

Only one of my siblings has 4 and she loves the attention: “are these all yours?” “Big family!” All are close in age and she loved the double stroller while wearing a baby while pregnant thing. She wishes she could have had more and she is always sending me blog posts about one of her friends who is raising 9. This is a wealthy family in the South with huge age range from college age to toddlers. This family seems nice and normal but I think you have to be different/eccentric/weird to have that many.

I'm envious of families with 4+ kids who can handle it. I know my limitations and know I could not, but certainly would love four kids. I think that's rare though.

Anonymous wrote:OP, just be advised that you're going to get a lot of answers here from people who are secretly envious of you. They wanted more kids but most likely waited too late and then couldn't have as many as they would have liked.

I think there are actually probably more people who secretly think you have too many kids and are happy not to have as many than there are people who are secretly envious of you. Sure, there will be some who wish they had been able to have more kids and weren’t for various reasons: finances, logistics, infertility, spouses/partners disagree on how many kids to have, etc. But I don’t think most people (Especially those who have kids of their own and know how difficult, exhausting, and expensive raising kids can be) see a family w 4+ kids and think oh man I wish I had that.

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. College not really a huge concern bc BYU is very cheap and that’s the gold standard. If you don’t get in there the state schools out west are cheaper in state than the ones here.

They better not like tea or coffee! Or, gasp, dating!

Anonymous wrote:OP, just be advised that you're going to get a lot of answers here from people who are secretly envious of you. They wanted more kids but most likely waited too late and then couldn't have as many as they would have liked.

This is such a mean spirited and cynical post.

Pp here. College not really a huge concern bc BYU is very cheap and that’s the gold standard. If you don’t get in there the state schools out west are cheaper in state than the ones here.

I grew up around a decent number of Mormons (UMC ones and even some straight up rich ones) but even in those UMC circles huge families are becoming rare. My moms family was 6 kids and I knew a lot of 4s and 5s growing up but now you see a lot more 3 kid families among their kids. The church still frowns upon women working outside of the home but more women WFH.

I think most people with 6+ kids are crazy, but I know a wonderful mother with 10(9 girls 1 boy) and she isn’t crazy at all. The kids all go to public school, they play sports, older kids don’t raise the littles ones, and she seems to really know and appreciate her kids individually, not as a unit or set. Her older 3 are in college. 1 on a soccer scholarship, the other two music related scholarships.

4+. Esp if the children are really close together in age.