I think the irritating part is that they are asking you to provide information about another family. The polite thing to do on their part would be to ask you for the other family's contact info so they could chat with them about their social distancing practices. It is impolite to put you in the middle of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, you are a poor host. We are in the middle of a pandemic.

+1

+2. I don’t think their question was entitled or irritating. They asked, you answered, done.

This. It’s an issue of safety and health.

OP, because they "ask" doesn't mean you are "obligated" to anything.

I agree it's a strange ask. If people would just be better about being able to say a simple, "no", without offering some explanation. Even a simple, "because I'm not comfortable" would be better

Alas, people don't say what they mean, or mean what they say. And somehow, they think they are being polite.

I find the way that the question was worded (according to your retelling) slightly irritating because it seem to be asking you to go out and get information you may not have. If they said, "do you know about the social distancing of the other invitees?" I think that would be totally fine. But that may have been what they really intended to ask and it is just a semantics thing.

Meh. I think it’s fine to ask and fine to answer the way you did.

Personally, I would be exhausted investing the amount of effort some of you all do trying to ascertain the exact right amount of judgment to heap upon the other party after a >5 min interaction.

Anonymous wrote:OP, your response was perfect. I would have done the same.

+2.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the question is rude or entitled - there's a reasonable likelihood that you would know the answer, since you felt comfortable inviting that child over. If you don't know, your response was fine.

This.

It isn't entitled or irritating. Your response was appropriate but yes, I would also be asking you because I am high risk as are nearly everyone I work with or live with.

If you are inviting multiple households over, I expect you would have prescreened them to determine how much of a risk they pose to your household (and mine, if we attend).

If they were distanced when watching outside, sure. We can maybe accommodate each other and include that (I'd show up to supervise, depending on age) but your post feels snippy, as if their question is an unfair intrusion into personal habits and imposition on you as the host.

I think you are being a poor host and should expect these questions when you invite people over in a pandemic. You ARE obligated to answer very fair questions regarding safety.

Not OP, and not to intending to be rude, but if you and your family are high risk, it likely makes more sense to avoid social gatherings with invitees you don't know for the time being. Maybe it makes a difference in terms of the ages of one's kids, but mine are tweens and teens. I definitely don't "prescreen" the households of the few of their friends we have invited over to our yard to kick a soccer ball or hit some baseballs. We're comfortable with the level of risk associated with that activity. It sounds like you have reasons not to be, and so the best thing is probably to stick to events where you know everyone personally and can ask them what they're doing.

It isn't entitled or irritating. Your response was appropriate but yes, I would also be asking you because I am high risk as are nearly everyone I work with or live with.

If you are inviting multiple households over, I expect you would have prescreened them to determine how much of a risk they pose to your household (and mine, if we attend).

If they were distanced when watching outside, sure. We can maybe accommodate each other and include that (I'd show up to supervise, depending on age) but your post feels snippy, as if their question is an unfair intrusion into personal habits and imposition on you as the host.

I think you are being a poor host and should expect these questions when you invite people over in a pandemic. You ARE obligated to answer very fair questions regarding safety.

I don't see anything wrong with the question or the response. I think I understand why you might have sensed a tone with that question, but it's hard to get the right tone across in a text message. So, I'd give them the benefit of the doubt. It's plausible that you already knew what kind of social distancing measures the other family was taking.

Don't worry about it.

And don't worry about that other poster that's just being a jerk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You need to understand that usual etiquette does not apply 100% in times pf pandemic.

It is a most important question, actually, OP.

Your response was fine, but please don’t think they were rude. You should be asking the same question of others.




Agree with this. They aren’t entitled or rude, OP. You’re being too sensitive.

Ok, thanks, I appreciate the feedback. I probably am. As I said, the issue is likely part of a larger backdrop of me feeling that these people always expect me to organize and arrange for all the kids' time together, which is upsetting me regardless of this situation.

Ohhh, I get it. You are mad at them but instead of setting boundaries or telling them or asking them to be different you decided to be rude. That'll fix 'em.

Nothing rude here except for this comment. Wtf?

You need to understand that usual etiquette does not apply 100% in times pf pandemic.

It is a most important question, actually, OP.

Your response was fine, but please don’t think they were rude. You should be asking the same question of others.




Agree with this. They aren’t entitled or rude, OP. You’re being too sensitive.


Ok, thanks, I appreciate the feedback. I probably am. As I said, the issue is likely part of a larger backdrop of me feeling that these people always expect me to organize and arrange for all the kids' time together, which is upsetting me regardless of this situation.


Ohhh, I get it. You are mad at them but instead of setting boundaries or telling them or asking them to be different you decided to be rude. That'll fix 'em.

I don't think I was rude, but you're entitled to your opinion.

Anonymous wrote:

You need to understand that usual etiquette does not apply 100% in times pf pandemic.

It is a most important question, actually, OP.

Your response was fine, but please don’t think they were rude. You should be asking the same question of others.




Agree with this. They aren’t entitled or rude, OP. You’re being too sensitive.

Ok, thanks, I appreciate the feedback. I probably am. As I said, the issue is likely part of a larger backdrop of me feeling that these people always expect me to organize and arrange for all the kids' time together, which is upsetting me regardless of this situation.

Ohhh, I get it. You are mad at them but instead of setting boundaries or telling them or asking them to be different you decided to be rude. That'll fix 'em.

I don't think the question is rude or entitled - there's a reasonable likelihood that you would know the answer, since you felt comfortable inviting that child over. If you don't know, your response was fine.

It’s a little rude/presumptuous, but your response is fine. Hopefully people figure out their manners again as we start to open back up.