Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, you sound about as supportive of her as she is of you. You both seem to think the other needs to shut up and listen to you. Perhaps the solution is to just not bicker. Don't talk about how bad your respective lives are. She doesn't want to hear it and neither do you. Talk about the weather or the kids. Donr expect a deep, meaningful relationship when you don't want to be real.

OP here. Honestly I’ve had the same thought. I think deep and meaningful in this context may just be emotionally dangerous. I love her and want to be there for her, but not a punching bag. So need to figure that out. Maybe keeping it light is the next best alternative. I rather have a less deep, but less harmful relationship over our lifetime than a tumultuous one that ends prematurely because of some truly unnecessary conflict.

Anonymous wrote:The pandemic has made my sister lose her marbles, and although I am normally close to this sibling, sibling got super pissed when I asked for social distancing (wear a mask) to see me or my mother (who is immunosurpressed, then sibling showed up at my house to see my newborn without a mask). You all won’t believe it, but they are a doctor, who sees covid patients every day. Very brave but clearly due to the stress sibling has lost their damn mind. So when I put down the hard line of please wear a mask, they texted me a bunch of nasty stuff about 4 days postpartum (texts along the lines of: you’re not the first person to have a baby, shut up and stop complaining) then cut off all communication. I feel abandoned from any support - even just emotional- postpartum.

Writing this I can see how effed up this is. Obviously this isn’t the first time it’s happened. The sad thing is that we have a great relationship when things are good, but then as soon as sibling is stressed, I get lashed out at and it’s like we didn’t even have such a close relationship. I guess it hurts more now because I’m postpartum and am quarantined. Normally I just ignore it and get on with my busy life. However, this sibling is an expert at kicking while I’m down.

Any word of advice for dealing with a sibling you are close with, who can be both kind but also incredibly volatile and cruel? It doesn’t seem right to let this relationship go, but maybe it’s time. Or should I just chalk it up to the pandemic?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pandemic has made my sister lose her marbles, and although I am normally close to this sibling, sibling got super pissed when I asked for social distancing (wear a mask) to see me or my mother (who is immunosurpressed, then sibling showed up at my house to see my newborn without a mask). You all won’t believe it, but they are a doctor, who sees covid patients every day. Very brave but clearly due to the stress sibling has lost their damn mind. So when I put down the hard line of please wear a mask, they texted me a bunch of nasty stuff about 4 days postpartum (texts along the lines of: you’re not the first person to have a baby, shut up and stop complaining) then cut off all communication. I feel abandoned from any support - even just emotional- postpartum.

Writing this I can see how effed up this is. Obviously this isn’t the first time it’s happened. The sad thing is that we have a great relationship when things are good, but then as soon as sibling is stressed, I get lashed out at and it’s like we didn’t even have such a close relationship. I guess it hurts more now because I’m postpartum and am quarantined. Normally I just ignore it and get on with my busy life. However, this sibling is an expert at kicking while I’m down.

Any word of advice for dealing with a sibling you are close with, who can be both kind but also incredibly volatile and cruel? It doesn’t seem right to let this relationship go, but maybe it’s time. Or should I just chalk it up to the pandemic?

A doctor isn’t a first responder unless they are practicing combat surgery or are riding along with EMTs.

Anonymous wrote:The pandemic has made my sister lose her marbles, and although I am normally close to this sibling, sibling got super pissed when I asked for social distancing (wear a mask) to see me or my mother (who is immunosurpressed, then sibling showed up at my house to see my newborn without a mask). You all won’t believe it, but they are a doctor, who sees covid patients every day. Very brave but clearly due to the stress sibling has lost their damn mind. So when I put down the hard line of please wear a mask, they texted me a bunch of nasty stuff about 4 days postpartum (texts along the lines of: you’re not the first person to have a baby, shut up and stop complaining) then cut off all communication. I feel abandoned from any support - even just emotional- postpartum.

Writing this I can see how effed up this is. Obviously this isn’t the first time it’s happened. The sad thing is that we have a great relationship when things are good, but then as soon as sibling is stressed, I get lashed out at and it’s like we didn’t even have such a close relationship. I guess it hurts more now because I’m postpartum and am quarantined. Normally I just ignore it and get on with my busy life. However, this sibling is an expert at kicking while I’m down.

Any word of advice for dealing with a sibling you are close with, who can be both kind but also incredibly volatile and cruel? It doesn’t seem right to let this relationship go, but maybe it’s time. Or should I just chalk it up to the pandemic?

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, you sound about as supportive of her as she is of you. You both seem to think the other needs to shut up and listen to you. Perhaps the solution is to just not bicker. Don't talk about how bad your respective lives are. She doesn't want to hear it and neither do you. Talk about the weather or the kids. Donr expect a deep, meaningful relationship when you don't want to be real.