I’m not offended but I’m not a fan. It reminds me of “the help”. I like to think we are all on the same level.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:



I was "ma'am-ed" in the south as soon as I took a professional position, which was in my 20s. It just meant that I was no longer a young girl. If I'm ignored, invisible, or dismissed, I speak up to make sure that stops.

But why does your age or job have to be considered at all? Do you think guys need to be in a professional position to be called "Sir" by a stranger?

The equivalent to "miss" for a boy is "master". It's not used much.

I agree with the pp that when I got my first job I stopped being a "miss" like I was in college and became a "ms" or "ma'am".

All of you who don't say ma'am or sir- what do you say when the person in front of you drops her keys? "Hey you!" ? I don't know her name. Sometimes I say "excuse me, you dropped your keys" but that doesn't get their attention the same way.

Anonymous wrote:



I was "ma'am-ed" in the south as soon as I took a professional position, which was in my 20s. It just meant that I was no longer a young girl. If I'm ignored, invisible, or dismissed, I speak up to make sure that stops.

But why does your age or job have to be considered at all? Do you think guys need to be in a professional position to be called "Sir" by a stranger?

I’m 35. The only times I’ve been called m’am are when I’ve been visibly pregnant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Excuse me ma’am is considered rude.

Excuse me miss is preferred.

Yes ma’am is not considered rude.

Not true for me. I am over 40. Please do not call me “miss” in any situation. It is condescending.

I agree, but so many women have a weird attitude toward aging. My MIL in her mid 60’s is obsessed with aging and trying to look young. Most women like that are fooling no one.

And do you know why? Because at a certain age we are ignored, invisible and dismissed That's why. If you are an older man you are "distinguished" and sir can be used if you are young and old. I'm not a miss but, I am not a Ma'am.

I was "ma'am-ed" in the south as soon as I took a professional position, which was in my 20s. It just meant that I was no longer a young girl. If I'm ignored, invisible, or dismissed, I speak up to make sure that stops.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem Is that it comes with an age connotation, but “sir” doesn’t. There’s no polite address for women that does not bring a presumption of age (Ms. is not something you can use as a replacement because “Excuse me, Ms.” doesn’t make sense.) A Woman’s age (whether it’s a younger age for Miss or an older age with Ma’am) also carries a judgment in our society.

This is me, and I want to add that the reason the military ma’am is a little better is because since it is always used, it takes the age issue out of it.

This. Young women know that they are often not taken seriously, and older women know that their "value" to a lot of people goes down as they age, but we don't have an age-neutral form of address. If every woman were called "ma'am," it would be different.

Not offended but it tells me that the speaker is probably very traditional.

I like it.

Growing up in the south, Ma'am was used as a term of respect. While I didn't have to call my parents Sir or Ma'am, it was expected in both formal situations (professional, educational, etc.) and as a polite form of address for general, anonymous encounters. Aside from not being used for children, age really had nothing to do with it. My parents are in their 70's and still address teenagers working the counter at McDonalds or bagging groceries as Sir or Ma'am.

No, he's right.

I can't stand it. I am early 40s.

Anonymous wrote:I don't like it, but it's not offensive. I'm just not a formal person.

Agree, that’s exactly it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, ma’am is the opposite of offensive. It’s respectful.

Exactly. If a complete stranger addresses me by my first name, I have to correct them.

Where are you from?

We dont have an ustedes or sie form. I'm always puzzled by americans who insist on formality when it's not really baked into our language.

Anonymous wrote:Nope, ma’am is the opposite of offensive. It’s respectful.

Exactly. If a complete stranger addresses me by my first name, I have to correct them.