Do the puppy a huge favor and rehome it. It deserves so much better.

Anonymous wrote:What would you do if your DD had caused the freak accident? You'd get therapy, I hope. Talk to your therapist about your resentment.

Yep. OP should rehome her daughter while she’s at it - you know, just in case.

Anonymous wrote:What would you do if your DD had caused the freak accident? You'd get therapy, I hope. Talk to your therapist about your resentment.

+1

This could have just as easily been "caused" by your daughter. Or a shoe or something. If your shoe sole came off and caused this would you never wear shoes again? Stop thinking of this as being "caused" by the puppy - it wasn't. It was a freak accident.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you sound like a control freak. Stop blaming the puppy. You can equally be at blame for not putting a puppy somewhere safe while you were carrying things on the stairs or not holding on or whatever. You sound like one of those people who never take responsibility. I feel sorry for you daughter.

OP here. How is this any different than getting rear-ended at a stop light? Would you blame the person who got rear-ended for driving a car that day and being in the wrong place at the wrong time?

I was walking down the stairs holding some laundry, and I thought the puppy was not around. It seemed safe at the time to walk down the stairs. I wasn't able to hold the hand rail because I was carrying the laundry. Sometimes you can't hold the hand rail if you have something in both hands.

Since that incident, whenever I am walking down the stairs I make sure I know where the puppy is, and I always hold the hand rail.

That doesn't change the fact that I now have a life-long, permanent injury that bothers me every day. I'm in an online support group for this condition, and that helps a lot. They're the only ones who understand what I'm going through. I have some resentment toward the puppy but mostly I just regret adopting the puppy in the first place. It probably would have been better not to get another dog after our elderly dog died this past fall.

We were rear ended at a stop light. My dh's reaction calmed the situation and the lady that hit us, she was so sorry. Dh said, "that's why it's called an accident". We exchanged info and had to deal with insurance and getting our bumper and trunk fixed. Her car had no damage. It is an accident..... It wouldn't change anything to also hang onto resentment. Dh's neck still has pain a couple of years later. He's a firefighter and knows things can always be worse.

I’ve been tripped by pet dogs many times in my life. I’m surprised you think this is such a rare and unusual thing OP. Given your age, accidents like this aren’t even that rare. It’s part of aging and mortality. Your lack of acceptance about that seems to be the real root of your problem. It’s not your puppy’s fault that you’re becoming older and more frail.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I have a permanent knee injury from when our 10 year old dog was a puppy and knocked me down. I went through surgery and physio and still have extreme pain. I can't do some of my loved activities anymore. I never held resentment to the puppy, I learned to be overly careful and it is what it is.

OP here. Thanks for sharing and sorry to hear what you went through. This is similar to my injury. I can't do many of the things I used to do and I'm really depressed about that. The difference is that I do have resentment and regret adopting the puppy, if I hadn't adopted the puppy this never would have happened. I have never fallen down stairs before.

I'm not at the place where I can emotionally move forward yet.

Yes, this is obvious, even though you've said on this thread that you have moved on.

OP, rehoming the dog will hurt your DD but it won't help you. The damage is done, nothing the puppy does or doesn't do from now on will fix it. Only you can come to terms with your new self.

Consider your family, not just yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:dogs on stairs while walking down is a very common injury. not the dogs fault and based on your experience, i am, surprised you are mentioning the other issues you are having, all very normal dog behavior especially with another dog to play with.

training training training but you sound resigned to get rid of him, i hope he ends up in a better home.

OP here. It would have been one thing if I fell down the stairs and broke a bone or something, and the bone healed and that was the end of it. The injury I got however is not one that will ever resolve or heal, a real freak accident. That's the part that really upsets me, I will have to deal with this injury every minute of every day and I'm resentful. It's almost like I was rear-ended in a car accident and developed permanent neck pain or something that would never go away. In that instance I would be extremely resentful of the driver who caused the accident.

It is irrational to blame the dog for this. Get therapy and train the puppy rather than causing further trauma in your household.

+1

I think you have misplaced anger and I actually think some therapy is called for - you now have essentially a chronic condition and that sucks, and it's not uncommon to need therapy to get to a place emotionally where you can deal with something like that. But that doesn't have anything to do with the puppy.

This is precisely why I did not get a dog after our last one passed away. I could see the dog getting underfoot and damaging our furniture. You got lucky with your previous dogs. I think you should find a loving home for the puppy and never get another one.

I think the freak action was not foreseeable, but unless you have gates up, or crate your dog, it is foreseeable that a puppy will, at some point run up the stairs, or jump on you, or attempt to play with the older dog. Puppies do puppy things. I hope you will work on your resentment.

I don’t know if you have other kids, but for me, as a child, our dog was a major source of unconditional love. It still bites that the dog was given away because the adults felt unable to commit to taking care of it, and felt that I was to young for the responsibility. The decision to rehome the dog might bet he right one for your family. It also might have a deeply significant impact for your daughter. I agree that exploring issues related to this particular dog and your injury with your therapist would be a great idea - before you make any irrevocable decisions.

What would you do if your DD had caused the freak accident? You'd get therapy, I hope. Talk to your therapist about your resentment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you sound like a control freak. Stop blaming the puppy. You can equally be at blame for not putting a puppy somewhere safe while you were carrying things on the stairs or not holding on or whatever. You sound like one of those people who never take responsibility. I feel sorry for you daughter.

OP here. How is this any different than getting rear-ended at a stop light? Would you blame the person who got rear-ended for driving a car that day and being in the wrong place at the wrong time?

I was walking down the stairs holding some laundry, and I thought the puppy was not around. It seemed safe at the time to walk down the stairs. I wasn't able to hold the hand rail because I was carrying the laundry. Sometimes you can't hold the hand rail if you have something in both hands.

Since that incident, whenever I am walking down the stairs I make sure I know where the puppy is, and I always hold the hand rail.

That doesn't change the fact that I now have a life-long, permanent injury that bothers me every day. I'm in an online support group for this condition, and that helps a lot. They're the only ones who understand what I'm going through. I have some resentment toward the puppy but mostly I just regret adopting the puppy in the first place. It probably would have been better not to get another dog after our elderly dog died this past fall.

DP
This is the difference. You can't take more action to avoid being rear-ended at a stoplight, but you now have taken more action to make sure you do not get tripped. Being tripped was foreseeable,a nd this is how it should have been from the beginning.

I am sorry for what happened to you. Whatever it is, it sounds like it really sucks. It was still preventable, and it is irrational to blame the puppy.

OP here. This makes no sense. Not driving is the only way to prevent an accident. An accident is not foreseeable. In my 20 years of owning dogs I have never been tripped or injured by one of them. This was a freak, isolated incident that also was not foreseeable.

DP. It was not a freak accident. Getting tripped by a pet is quite common. Ask any ER doctor.

Anonymous wrote:

I have a permanent knee injury from when our 10 year old dog was a puppy and knocked me down. I went through surgery and physio and still have extreme pain. I can't do some of my loved activities anymore. I never held resentment to the puppy, I learned to be overly careful and it is what it is.

OP here. Thanks for sharing and sorry to hear what you went through. This is similar to my injury. I can't do many of the things I used to do and I'm really depressed about that. The difference is that I do have resentment and regret adopting the puppy, if I hadn't adopted the puppy this never would have happened. I have never fallen down stairs before.

I'm not at the place where I can emotionally move forward yet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you sound like a control freak. Stop blaming the puppy. You can equally be at blame for not putting a puppy somewhere safe while you were carrying things on the stairs or not holding on or whatever. You sound like one of those people who never take responsibility. I feel sorry for you daughter.

OP here. How is this any different than getting rear-ended at a stop light? Would you blame the person who got rear-ended for driving a car that day and being in the wrong place at the wrong time?

I was walking down the stairs holding some laundry, and I thought the puppy was not around. It seemed safe at the time to walk down the stairs. I wasn't able to hold the hand rail because I was carrying the laundry. Sometimes you can't hold the hand rail if you have something in both hands.

Since that incident, whenever I am walking down the stairs I make sure I know where the puppy is, and I always hold the hand rail.

That doesn't change the fact that I now have a life-long, permanent injury that bothers me every day. I'm in an online support group for this condition, and that helps a lot. They're the only ones who understand what I'm going through. I have some resentment toward the puppy but mostly I just regret adopting the puppy in the first place. It probably would have been better not to get another dog after our elderly dog died this past fall.

DP
This is the difference. You can't take more action to avoid being rear-ended at a stoplight, but you now have taken more action to make sure you do not get tripped. Being tripped was foreseeable,a nd this is how it should have been from the beginning.

I am sorry for what happened to you. Whatever it is, it sounds like it really sucks. It was still preventable, and it is irrational to blame the puppy.

OP here. This makes no sense. Not driving is the only way to prevent an accident. An accident is not foreseeable. In my 20 years of owning dogs I have never been tripped or injured by one of them. This was a freak, isolated incident that also was not foreseeable.

So the puppy ran up the stairs, is the first time? why aren't you teaching the puppy?

Is someone actively training the puppy? Is your puppy getting lots of physical and mental exercise? The injury aside, all the behavior is normal. Puppies need to be taught and tired out whether you keep him or find a different home, these are crucial weeks to train good behavior! If you're avoiding the puppy, hopefully another adult is doing the right things.

I have a permanent knee injury from when our 10 year old dog was a puppy and knocked me down. I went through surgery and physio and still have extreme pain. I can't do some of my loved activities anymore. I never held resentment to the puppy, I learned to be overly careful and it is what it is. Actually my adult daughter broke her arm in 2 places when her young dog pulled the leash and she slipped hard on ice. It caused extreme hardship on her work for a long time, but she loves her dog.

Mouthing, chewing, chasing, jumping, etc. is all normal for puppies. Maybe you have a lab or retriever type and it would be extremely normal lol!

Things happen, speak to your therapist about your feelings on this. You will have other disappointments in life.