Geez, girl, do you need this to be tattooed on his face to see it?

He’s cheating on you. You’ve been in denial because if you face the reality you will have to leave him and you don’t want to.

OP, you say he was with her long term, but how long term are we talking... a month? 3 months? a year?

Anonymous wrote:DH requested to be friends with his ex. It kills me but he still loves her. We have a good marriage but the woman he married is not the woman he loved the most.

Ugh, I got a pit in my stomach when I read this.

I'm so sorry you've come to this realization and I hope you find the right man for you who makes you his everything.

You should never have to settle.

Anonymous wrote:And he is still your boyfriend because.....?

Another one who lacks reading comprehension.

Anonymous wrote:Bigger question is Why Are You Still With Him????

Reading is fundamental.

Treating him extremely well during this time, and let him do whatever he wants, that makes him choose you over everyone else, then dump his ass. If I knew there are a pandemic like this when I could have so much extra time, I'd do this to my cheating ex boyfriend. I dumped him at the end of last year, he went directly to the woman he cheated me with. Now they are stuck together at home and he reached out to me for old times. Disgusting.

During dating, it should more or less be the best of circumstances--as in, don't expect better, and can you be happy with how things went? He showed you exactly who he is.

Anonymous wrote:As a man, I think you overreacted. It was 2 years ago. Either you trust him or you don't. If you do, he can be friends with her. If you don't, then you should have left him before the friending thing anyway.

Flip the script and I doubt the boyfriend would be cool with it if it were the other way around and Op had cheated, had the other person contact him and it blow up, forgive her, and she reconnects with OM on FaceBook.

3.5 years dating and still not married? He's definitely still cheating. Cut him off and never look back.

While it’s water under the proverbial bridge now, I would say you should have dumped him after he initially cheated on you.

Because this type of thing had a greater chance to occur.
I am sure his affair was always the bone of contention between you two.
As it should have been.

But what is done is done.
You absolutely did the right thing in letting him go.

What he did is like pouring salt on the wound.
He did a really stupid thing.

Good riddance to him!

You absolutely did the right thing and it's important not to let him gaslight you into think you're being unreasonable.

As you said--this was not a one night stand he had, this was an ongoing relationship and connection with this woman. Re-establishing any kind of contact is a no-no. Even if he has no actual intention of rekindling something, she might, and he's clearly "vulnerable."

I'm sorry you've been through all this. I think you'll be very glad that you ended this finally. Really that was some massive cheating and horrible behavior to have forgiven at such an early stage, that was very unlikely to work out well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My now BF cheated on his ex 3 times early in their 10 year relationship. She caught him at the time and he admitted to 1 out of 3. She later found the Facebook messages of the other two women while he was deployed and she divorced him when he returned. I respect the hell out of her for making that decision. If you cheat and are lucky enough to be forgiven, you’d better do everything you can to never make the other person feel insecure in that way again. You did the right thing.

Girl...

+1. Seriously. Giiiiiirl...

Anonymous wrote:I think that was too much cheating too early in a relationship to forgive in the first place, but at this point, yes, you need to leave him.

+1. If someone cheats on you white dating, walk away. Always. Marriages are worth fighting for. Dating is to see if someone is worth marrying and cheating is an indication they won’t be able to get through rough times so don’t waste your time.

How old are you, how old is he, and why is he still your "boyfriend" after 3.5 years?

High five to you that you didn't marry this guy. You are now free of this BS!