Anonymous
Post 04/23/2020 15:34     Subject: Re:Not sure I care right now that my kid is smoking weed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe the "oh, well" attitude. No way no how with this bullsh*t.


You all keep saying this, but what is the alternative?


This is a good question and it's something we should all be talking about. I have a 15 YO DS and a young male family member who died of a drug overdose (started with pot about this age, of course), so it's a real concern of mine. Frankly, I don't know what I would do in OP's shoes, but I sure as hell wouldn't throw in the towel, refuse to parent and/or be confrontational, and just accept it.

Some thoughts if it was my kid:

1) He would be out of his fancy private school, like that week. Going to this school is a privilege and he knows he's expected to hold up his end of the deal. This would be viewed as a massive failure.

2) I would be in touch with the parents of all of his friends and would have a serious conversation with all of them. Some probably wouldn't care of there kids were into pot (witness: OP), but I would find out which ones are, who his "dealer" is and put a stop to the social supply chain.

3) He would be getting a part time job. Let him deal with the issue of drug testing. But smoking pot = too much time on his hands, so it's time to go to work. Fast food, busing tables, grocery shelve stocking -- I don't care. But he's going into the real work world.

4) Worst case scenario: We would move out of the area. I'm serious about this. Nothing more important than my kids' health and well being is worth our life in DC. I'm not saying things would be automatically better anywhere else, but a place that does not put so much emphasis on material wealth and success, and thus breed habits like this in teens who feel like they are not measuring up, might be what he needs.

5) Therapy, for him and the whole family.


Okay therapy, fine. The rest of those things are useless. My teen is the hardest working kid I know, with little free time on his hands--that had nothing to do with smoking pot. And a job--well, wouldn't that just give him more $$ to buy weed? None of those you say are solutions. Sadly.


Disagree. All of PP's notes here are a good start, along with more constant monitoring. If he's got a job, maybe he has to invest all of the money in savings account or something else. I would never let him keep the money to spend.

In my house, if you're going to act like a 5 year old (which smoking pot in defiance of my rules qualifies for), you're going to be treated like one.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2020 15:30     Subject: Re:Not sure I care right now that my kid is smoking weed
Anonymous wrote:You should care. I know someone who smoked a bit of weed around that time (started as a way to relax after a tragedy) and after a couple of years was a paranoid schizophrenic. No family history of any psychiatric disorders at all. A really promising life completely down the drain. Heartbreaking.


My brother smoked a ton of weed in high school and college. It then turned into Adderall, Coke and Heroin. He was diagnosed bipolar and was also depressed. He committed suicide 2 years ago.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2020 15:13     Subject: Re:Not sure I care right now that my kid is smoking weed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You should care. I know someone who smoked a bit of weed around that time (started as a way to relax after a tragedy) and after a couple of years was a paranoid schizophrenic. No family history of any psychiatric disorders at all. A really promising life completely down the drain. Heartbreaking.


You have no idea what he was doing he could have easily hit his head or eaten bad meat w a parasite.


He had very good medical care and was tested for everything. He's been this way for decades now.


Of course, schizophrenia usually manifests in males in their late teens or early twenties. And he could have been smoking pot to cope with initial presentation.

Have you heard of correlation?


Thank you


You think Harvard Medical School doesn't understand the concept of correlation?
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2020 15:06     Subject: Re:Not sure I care right now that my kid is smoking weed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe the "oh, well" attitude. No way no how with this bullsh*t.


You all keep saying this, but what is the alternative?


This is a good question and it's something we should all be talking about. I have a 15 YO DS and a young male family member who died of a drug overdose (started with pot about this age, of course), so it's a real concern of mine. Frankly, I don't know what I would do in OP's shoes, but I sure as hell wouldn't throw in the towel, refuse to parent and/or be confrontational, and just accept it.

Some thoughts if it was my kid:

1) He would be out of his fancy private school, like that week. Going to this school is a privilege and he knows he's expected to hold up his end of the deal. This would be viewed as a massive failure.

2) I would be in touch with the parents of all of his friends and would have a serious conversation with all of them. Some probably wouldn't care of there kids were into pot (witness: OP), but I would find out which ones are, who his "dealer" is and put a stop to the social supply chain.

3) He would be getting a part time job. Let him deal with the issue of drug testing. But smoking pot = too much time on his hands, so it's time to go to work. Fast food, busing tables, grocery shelve stocking -- I don't care. But he's going into the real work world.

4) Worst case scenario: We would move out of the area. I'm serious about this. Nothing more important than my kids' health and well being is worth our life in DC. I'm not saying things would be automatically better anywhere else, but a place that does not put so much emphasis on material wealth and success, and thus breed habits like this in teens who feel like they are not measuring up, might be what he needs.

5) Therapy, for him and the whole family.


Okay therapy, fine. The rest of those things are useless. My teen is the hardest working kid I know, with little free time on his hands--that had nothing to do with smoking pot. And a job--well, wouldn't that just give him more $$ to buy weed? None of those you say are solutions. Sadly.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2020 15:02     Subject: Re:Not sure I care right now that my kid is smoking weed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe the "oh, well" attitude. No way no how with this bullsh*t.


You all keep saying this, but what is the alternative?


This is a good question and it's something we should all be talking about. I have a 15 YO DS and a young male family member who died of a drug overdose (started with pot about this age, of course), so it's a real concern of mine. Frankly, I don't know what I would do in OP's shoes, but I sure as hell wouldn't throw in the towel, refuse to parent and/or be confrontational, and just accept it.

Some thoughts if it was my kid:

1) He would be out of his fancy private school, like that week. Going to this school is a privilege and he knows he's expected to hold up his end of the deal. This would be viewed as a massive failure.

2) I would be in touch with the parents of all of his friends and would have a serious conversation with all of them. Some probably wouldn't care of there kids were into pot (witness: OP), but I would find out which ones are, who his "dealer" is and put a stop to the social supply chain.

3) He would be getting a part time job. Let him deal with the issue of drug testing. But smoking pot = too much time on his hands, so it's time to go to work. Fast food, busing tables, grocery shelve stocking -- I don't care. But he's going into the real work world.

4) Worst case scenario: We would move out of the area. I'm serious about this. Nothing more important than my kids' health and well being is worth our life in DC. I'm not saying things would be automatically better anywhere else, but a place that does not put so much emphasis on material wealth and success, and thus breed habits like this in teens who feel like they are not measuring up, might be what he needs.

5) Therapy, for him and the whole family.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2020 14:51     Subject: Re:Not sure I care right now that my kid is smoking weed
Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe the "oh, well" attitude. No way no how with this bullsh*t.


You all keep saying this, but what is the alternative?
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2020 14:37     Subject: Re:Not sure I care right now that my kid is smoking weed
I cannot believe the "oh, well" attitude. No way no how with this bullsh*t.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2020 14:37     Subject: Not sure I care right now that my kid is smoking weed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Good luck OP because 17 year old males are the highest statistic for developing weed induced schizophrenia.

Well done.

Gold star.

Round of applause.


Aren't late teens, early 20s males the highest statistic for developing schizophrenia, period? I think its terrible for a developing brain but this seems like a serious boogie man.


Seriously. +1. The schizophrenia PP(s)'s just willfully ignorant.
In reality, if a drug is going to trigger some sort of psychological break, it's not going to be weed. LSD or other psychedelics are more likely to set off an underlying disturbance. But even more likely than either of those scenarios is a spiraling, mentally ill teenager self-medicating.

That said, I would do whatever I could to stop my teenage kid from smoking weed. It is incredibly damaging to the developing brain. I know this firsthand and I hope to God my kids never deal with the demons I do. While depression and anxiety can be hereditary, there's no doubt in my mind I exacerbated (not caused, exacerbated) my mental illness through heavy drug use as a teenager and prolonged daily weed-smoking. And yes, I was self-medicating.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2020 13:32     Subject: Not sure I care right now that my kid is smoking weed
Anonymous wrote:Good luck OP because 17 year old males are the highest statistic for developing weed induced schizophrenia.

Well done.

Gold star.

Round of applause.


Aren't late teens, early 20s males the highest statistic for developing schizophrenia, period? I think its terrible for a developing brain but this seems like a serious boogie man.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2020 13:31     Subject: Not sure I care right now that my kid is smoking weed
Anonymous wrote:From the smell when I was walking around my neighborhood earlier, I think a lot of parents are in that boat.


I'm a parent literally in that boat (only after kids in bed though!) but unwinding after these crazy days with two hits off a joint is pretty nice 1-2 nights a week on my lawn. I don't want to drink as much as seems to be the norm now, no judgment I love good cocktails and wine but I'm trying to get in better shape. Balancing that with the fact that this virus attacks lung tissue first so I'm not about to increase the smoking much either!
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2020 13:23     Subject: Not sure I care right now that my kid is smoking weed
Good luck OP because 17 year old males are the highest statistic for developing weed induced schizophrenia.

Well done.

Gold star.

Round of applause.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2020 13:15     Subject: Not sure I care right now that my kid is smoking weed
Look at where this thread is in relation to the one about the MS girl smoking pot then growing up and going to med school and not getting a residency and then committing suicide. I don’t think pot is harmless and I would tell my 17 year old that.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2020 12:41     Subject: Not sure I care right now that my kid is smoking weed
Anonymous wrote:A 17 year old smoking pot would be a BIG deal in my house. Once he is 18, you lose all control. Why are you hesitant to parent?


I'm curious, though. What would you do about it? The truth is, there isn't much you can do. It stinks to admit, but at 17, it's very hard to control. Taking their phones and grounding them will only cause them to become more disconnected from and resentful of you. You really can only talk, talk, talk, and hope to get to the root of it, so they feel the need and desire to use less and less.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2020 12:36     Subject: Re:Not sure I care right now that my kid is smoking weed
Anonymous wrote:No I don’t know what you mean. I’d be upset as hell.


+1
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2020 11:54     Subject: Not sure I care right now that my kid is smoking weed
A 17 year old smoking pot would be a BIG deal in my house. Once he is 18, you lose all control. Why are you hesitant to parent?