Bringing up Bebe had some interesting observations about why French kids eat real food--there is a whole chapter about how the kids are fed real foods even in daycare and--like the PP suggested, veggies first.

Our kids have always eaten the same food, once they were reasonably good chewers, so by 3ish. Same as a PP, the main time they get something different is if our food is very spicy or something rubbery like squid or something, that might be difficult to eat. One kid is lactose intolerant so she gets a pass on cheese.

We always have two vegetables at a meal, so I do let the kids, if they don't like one of the veggies, to have double helpings of the other. They MUST eat a vegetable at every meal. if it is lunch that is often just cut up cucumbers, celery sticks or carrots.

You have to keep insisting they try the food. I ask them to have one bite even if they think they won't like it. I had a kid who went through a "plain pasta" phase but now loves all kinds of pasta sauce including ones with anchovies and olives. So tastes evolve, they just need to keep being exposed. I just offer over and over--they just have to take one bite, to try it, and I find that a lot of prejudices fall away. It's often not about the taste, it's something else, or just wanting to be willful and say no.

DD, almost 3, eats a separate meal from DH and myself. Mostly because she eats around 6pm and we tend to eat after she goes to bed, and frankly I just don't have my shit together enough to have our dinner ready at 6. Someday she will eat when we eat and at that point I assume we will all eat the same thing. She certainly eats her fair share of pb&j but also is great about trying new things, so I am hopeful it will be a somewhat easy transition.

Anonymous wrote:I’ll be honest — I cook separate meals for them about half of the times I cook. I mean, I am not going to force my kids to eat scallops or seared rate tuna if they don’t want to.

Ha! Literally last night we had a fight over who would get the last scallops. Kids won. They're delicious! Why wouldn't kids want to eat them.
It would be cheaper to feed them hotdogs, though.

I take pride in having converted three of my kids' "picky" friends who would only eat white foods into vegetable eaters.

The trick was to offer vegetables first, when they're really hungry, which was right after school when I picked them up three days a week. That's all that was available between school and the park I'd take them to for an hour to burn energy. Sometimes they'd stay for dinner, and their parents were shocked that they'd try the cooking. Random stuff, like Jamaican goat stew and okra. The kids learned fast that I wasn't going to be offering them anything else like their parents did at home.

So, OP, you might consider starting some of the new foods at snack time. Also, for one picky eater I cared for, helping to cook really made a huge difference in willingness to try new things.

Eat what we eat. We have a 4 year old and 2.5 year old and they are Rsally good eaters.

Breakfast and lunch, they can choose. Dinner, they always have two choices: Take it or leave it. I have no desire to be a short order cook.

DS always gets a version of what we are having unless it's a rare occasion we are having mussels, clams, or lobster, and that's just because we don't want to share it. I do tend to make other things along side but not "kid" food per se, just more roasted vegetables or cut fruit to round out his plate. He eats, or at least tastes, everything on the plate so I'm okay with it. If he exclusively ate grapes for dinner I'd stop and go full on 'you only eat what we eat,' and then I'd force myself to eat more vegetables.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't always eat what we eat but I don't make them anything else!

I do always put something on their plate that I know they like. And if they try everything they get a treat after dinner (even if just a bite of something).

Currently doing it with my 4 and 2 year old. As soon as he was eating real food and not like, cut up pieces of grapes and avocado, he was at the dinner table eating what we eat.

One thing that I think makes this work (four year old is now a good eater and tries everything, ate a scallop a couple days ago) is that it is not a fight. If they don't want to eat it is no big deal. We don't fight about it and there are no punishments. Sometimes they get mad at me if they're hungry and don't like what I made. And in that case if they try everything but don't like it I will make them like, a piece of toast or something.

Another thing that helps is trying to observe like, are they starving today? If so I'll make quesadillas or spaghetti or something I know is a guaranteed hit so they aren't STARVING. But I observe and make that decision without their input so they don't think they can control the outcome of dinner.

Like why do you keep saying like?

NP. I'm like, sooooooo glad someone else noticed this.

DH and I cook a lot. We love food and we eat most cuisines. And we cook most cuisines. There is always a lot of food and a lot of choices avaialable for my kids. I have never minded not making them something different (and something that they request) if they are not super keem about what I have cooked.

I do not fuss about them not eating what is on the table. I don't mind cooking them anything they request instead, like a short order cook, ordering delivery or letting them fix something on their own - cereal, frozen stuff etc.

I have a simple philosophy about food and clothes that I got from my grandmom. She used to say that you should dress according to other people's opinion, but eat the food that you want to eat. I can't imagine forcing my kids to eat something that they don't want to.

In my home, they have been exposed to many different cuisines and they have been offered a lot of fruits and vegetables and healthy options. Our home is pretty much devoid of cola, chips and cookies. I don't worry that they will be scarfing down McDonalds and eating doritos. That is not what they are picking to eat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My baby’s too young for me to answer, but growing up, neither my DH or I were raised eating separate meals. We always ate what our parents ate. If we didn’t like it, too bad. Honestly, we never ate frozen food, but mom was stay at home as well.

I used to nanny during my college years, and it always baffled me to see parents give their kid a hot dog or piece of bread for dinner if that’s what they wanted. Not trying to sound like a snob...but from a nutritional standpoint, but I could never feed that to my own kid knowing what is and isn’t in it. Kids are not going to starve themselves. I truly believe picky eaters are created.

I know plenty of families with one omnivore and one picky eater. How do you account for that!

This is us. DS1 is the pickiest thing, especially about textures. I'm the same about smell - I've never tried bacon because the smell is vile and about textures - I don't like fried anything, especially fried and breaded. DS2 is like my H, they eat everything.

Depends. I'm doing mostly paleo so sometimes I make pasta or pizza just for them. They won't eat salads but we do. Otherwise, we eat the same thing (veggies and meat/fish) but I skip the side grains.

Anonymous wrote:In the low carb craziness I feel like everyone has forgotten the mainstay of family dinner- bread and butter. If you don’t like dinner here, eat more bread and drink your milk. DOnt expect dessert if you don’t try at your food. No one will starve.

We’ve brought this back now that we are home all the time and I’m baking bread. It’s liberating me to just cook whatever I want and the kids can have milk, homemade bread and carrot sticks.

Anonymous wrote:My baby’s too young for me to answer, but growing up, neither my DH or I were raised eating separate meals. We always ate what our parents ate. If we didn’t like it, too bad. Honestly, we never ate frozen food, but mom was stay at home as well.

I used to nanny during my college years, and it always baffled me to see parents give their kid a hot dog or piece of bread for dinner if that’s what they wanted. Not trying to sound like a snob...but from a nutritional standpoint, but I could never feed that to my own kid knowing what is and isn’t in it. Kids are not going to starve themselves. I truly believe picky eaters are created.

I know plenty of families with one omnivore and one picky eater. How do you account for that!

Kids are 3 and 5 and they always get their own meal. DH and I eat mostly salads for dinner, kids just aren’t interested in that. Plus I work long hours and DH feeds them rather than eating as a family. It’s usually something quick though - scrambled eggs, yogurt, cut up veggies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am wondering about something after I read your update, op. You said you ate popcorn a ton instead of meals. I wonder what your childhood home meals were like? The reason I am wondering if that my college age kids are at home now. I am finding that ds and dd want all kinds of food. Meatloaf, fish and green beans, curries, pork chops, steaks, rice dishes, calamari, beans, soups, I mean like I am some kind of a all cuisine restaurant chef! Did I create these monsters? Was it that I cooked too much when they were kids? I am tried from cooking. Maybe I created the opposite, these nightmare, where is my smoked salmon and avocado everything bagel, and you can't really expect me to eat a plain sandwich douche bags! I always thought it is great to cook and have a variety of dishes, but boy, I am not that happy about it now!

DAFUQ are you talking about? If my college-age kids were in the house right now, THEY WOULD BE COOKING DINNER. We'd be on a rotation. And nobody's ass would be complaining.

If my kids were in their late teens/early 20s and had THE NERVE to complain to me about the food situation? Guess what, bitches? You are now cooking for a solid week.

I am not disagreeing with you. Heck, you are totally right. You did better than me, and this is my fault. On the other hand, how old are your kids? If they are grown ups or teen and help and do all this? Awesome, you are a better parent than me. On the other hand, if your kids are 2 and 4, or some young version, you really ought to wait before they grow up to cast stones on others! So, how old are your kids?

I did when my son was younger. Now he is 8 and eats 75% of what we eat, maybe with sauce left off or some modifications. He eats fruit/smoothie or yogurt with dinner most nights which we skip so that fills in some of the gaps. I tend to do a pot of rice or pasta at the start of the week so that's always an option or part of our meal. There is usually frozen or canned fish as an option too. I used to stress more about it but as he has grown and we stopped pushing he has tried more things.