Anonymous
04/10/2020 19:35
Subject: More than four kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When I was young, I romanticized big families.
But, it’s pretty narcissistic to want to overpopulate the world with your offspring isn’t it? And selfish. Even if you have all the money I’m the world, what makes you think you and your family are actually “value add?” And if you aren’t thinking about it that way, you should be.
I think its narcissistic to never have children. You clearly don't know what having children is about.
Anonymous
04/10/2020 19:34
Subject: Re:More than four kids
Anonymous wrote:Once you get past 4, it is like falling off a bike to add another kid to the group. Some people look at the capacity to love as finite and you're seeing some of those posts here. It sounds like you and your husband know that love is NOT finite and that you have the capacity for an infinite supply of love. I say go for it, OP! The world could use a lot more love these days.
Oh please, this is not about love. This is about having enough hours in the day to properly care for and responsibly raise a human being. Love is infinite. That’s true. But creating a human being is not about love! It’s a tremendous responsibility, both for your child and the larger community. Condensing this down to love is overly simplistic and, honestly, harmful! Raising children is not just about love, even drug addicts love their children, but dying in your basement of an overdose when your kid is 7 (true story, a coworker) doesn’t exactly set them up for a healthy and well adjusted life.
Anonymous
04/10/2020 19:33
Subject: More than four kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just not enough time for each child IMO. At some point they become a herd rather than individuals.
It depends how they're spaced.
Even if kids are spaced out, there is only so much time during the day. You cannot spend quality time with each one individually.
Can you pay for college and graduate school, at least a state school for all 4-5 kids?
Can each kid be in 1-2 activities where you drive them?
What will you do about child care? Will they spend more time with the nanny than you?
Lots of big families work, but lots gets neglected because too many kids or the older ones parent the younger ones.
I am someone who has a mixed family that results in six (I posted on the first page) and the answer to all your questions except the last one is yes. Keep in mind that *I* am not their only parent. Four of the kids have two parents and two of the kids have three parents. So while one kid may have to wait a couple of hours to talk through a problem with us, that can easily happen in a household with two children also.
There is a big different in a mixed family with that many parents and two parents with 5 kids. OP husband works a lot and if she works to, that's not a lot of time for 5 kids. If they are rich, money still does not replace time. And, the kids will be raised by the older kids/themselves or a nanny. Kids will be fine but they need a strong parent relationship.
Anonymous
04/10/2020 19:24
Subject: More than four kids
My friend has 5 and the baby has downs syndrome. Sometimes there are unexpected situations
Anonymous
04/10/2020 19:13
Subject: More than four kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just not enough time for each child IMO. At some point they become a herd rather than individuals.
It depends how they're spaced.
Even if kids are spaced out, there is only so much time during the day. You cannot spend quality time with each one individually.
Can you pay for college and graduate school, at least a state school for all 4-5 kids?
Can each kid be in 1-2 activities where you drive them?
What will you do about child care? Will they spend more time with the nanny than you?
Lots of big families work, but lots gets neglected because too many kids or the older ones parent the younger ones.
I am someone who has a mixed family that results in six (I posted on the first page) and the answer to all your questions except the last one is yes. Keep in mind that *I* am not their only parent. Four of the kids have two parents and two of the kids have three parents. So while one kid may have to wait a couple of hours to talk through a problem with us, that can easily happen in a household with two children also.
Anonymous
04/10/2020 19:04
Subject: More than four kids
i say go for it. I worked in end of life care and saw a lot of various family groups. Ya gotta spread your risk around among your offspring. You can have one meh kid but 3-4 good ones out of the bunch! 
Anonymous
04/10/2020 18:39
Subject: Re:More than four kids
Our friends have 5 kids and their lives are consumed with the kids. Nothing but kids. They are very unhappy.
Anonymous
04/10/2020 18:39
Subject: Re:More than four kids
People like y’all are why OP is hesitant about having more kids even though clearly it feels right to her. Society sucks
Anonymous
04/10/2020 18:33
Subject: More than four kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When I was young, I romanticized big families.
But, it’s pretty narcissistic to want to overpopulate the world with your offspring isn’t it? And selfish. Even if you have all the money I’m the world, what makes you think you and your family are actually “value add?” And if you aren’t thinking about it that way, you should be.
By your logic, you shouldn’t be allowed any children at all. Do you have kids? What makes you the judge of how many is ok? Do your children “value add”?
Unless you don’t have children, you really can’t call people out.
Np. Is math challenging for you. If you have more than two kids, you are helping to overpopulate the world. It is by definition selfish. The op is thinking of what she wants over the disadvantages to the rest of us. She can still choose to do it, but it is selfish.
If they really cared about the environment, they would have no kids or adopt. It has nothing to do with math. They probably didn’t want more than two kids and it’s easy to sit back and call people out who want more.
That's pretty funny. I expect you have zero kids. You certainly have zero empathy.
Not at all. I just *really* dislike hypocrites and mean people. Don’t open the thread if you have nothing nice to say.
Excuse me what? I do have nice things to say about having kids. I think its probably the best thing you can do in life. I don't agree with your statement about adopting or not having kids. That doesn't make me "not nice" you imbecile.
Oh you do sound like a nice person!
I am not here for your approval
Anonymous
04/10/2020 17:55
Subject: Re:More than four kids
Once you get past 4, it is like falling off a bike to add another kid to the group. Some people look at the capacity to love as finite and you're seeing some of those posts here. It sounds like you and your husband know that love is NOT finite and that you have the capacity for an infinite supply of love. I say go for it, OP! The world could use a lot more love these days.
Anonymous
04/10/2020 16:47
Subject: Re:More than four kids
We’ve have five. I have three step (now adopted) daughter and two biological children. We are truly blessed financially but still have just 24 hours in a day. I stopped working and still don’t feel I have enough time for each child.
Of course, I wouldn’t change anything and I love my kids. But keep in mind the time you have, OP. Your love is limitless but your time is very much finite.
Of course, I wouldn’t change anything and I love my kids. But keep in mind the time you have, OP. Your love is limitless but your time is very much finite.
Anonymous
04/10/2020 15:16
Subject: More than four kids
Anonymous wrote:I have seven and sound similar. My husband is a surgeon and I don’t work. We go to church occasionally, but it has nothing to do with the number of kids we have. We just really like kids. My kids go to public school and all are really involved in sports and extracurriculars.
I will warn that they do get so much more expensive as high school hits. We are feeling a bit of a financial crunch as the three older ones hit high school that we didn’t feel when they were younger.
No regrets here. We are done at 7 but I would have loved to have more if I felt we could handle it (age and finances are mostly why we stopped).
He probably likes all the kids as he goes to work for majority of the day and doesn't have to do the hard work. Did you pay for college and graduate school for all 7?
Anonymous
04/10/2020 15:13
Subject: More than four kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just not enough time for each child IMO. At some point they become a herd rather than individuals.
It depends how they're spaced.
Even if kids are spaced out, there is only so much time during the day. You cannot spend quality time with each one individually.
Can you pay for college and graduate school, at least a state school for all 4-5 kids?
Can each kid be in 1-2 activities where you drive them?
What will you do about child care? Will they spend more time with the nanny than you?
Lots of big families work, but lots gets neglected because too many kids or the older ones parent the younger ones.
Anonymous
04/10/2020 15:09
Subject: More than four kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When I was young, I romanticized big families.
But, it’s pretty narcissistic to want to overpopulate the world with your offspring isn’t it? And selfish. Even if you have all the money I’m the world, what makes you think you and your family are actually “value add?” And if you aren’t thinking about it that way, you should be.
By your logic, you shouldn’t be allowed any children at all. Do you have kids? What makes you the judge of how many is ok? Do your children “value add”?
Unless you don’t have children, you really can’t call people out.
Np. Is math challenging for you. If you have more than two kids, you are helping to overpopulate the world. It is by definition selfish. The op is thinking of what she wants over the disadvantages to the rest of us. She can still choose to do it, but it is selfish.
If they really cared about the environment, they would have no kids or adopt. It has nothing to do with math. They probably didn’t want more than two kids and it’s easy to sit back and call people out who want more.
That's pretty funny. I expect you have zero kids. You certainly have zero empathy.
Not at all. I just *really* dislike hypocrites and mean people. Don’t open the thread if you have nothing nice to say.
Excuse me what? I do have nice things to say about having kids. I think its probably the best thing you can do in life. I don't agree with your statement about adopting or not having kids. That doesn't make me "not nice" you imbecile.
Oh you do sound like a nice person!
Anonymous
04/10/2020 15:06
Subject: More than four kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When I was young, I romanticized big families.
But, it’s pretty narcissistic to want to overpopulate the world with your offspring isn’t it? And selfish. Even if you have all the money I’m the world, what makes you think you and your family are actually “value add?” And if you aren’t thinking about it that way, you should be.
By your logic, you shouldn’t be allowed any children at all. Do you have kids? What makes you the judge of how many is ok? Do your children “value add”?
Unless you don’t have children, you really can’t call people out.
Np. Is math challenging for you. If you have more than two kids, you are helping to overpopulate the world. It is by definition selfish. The op is thinking of what she wants over the disadvantages to the rest of us. She can still choose to do it, but it is selfish.
If they really cared about the environment, they would have no kids or adopt. It has nothing to do with math. They probably didn’t want more than two kids and it’s easy to sit back and call people out who want more.
That's pretty funny. I expect you have zero kids. You certainly have zero empathy.
Not at all. I just *really* dislike hypocrites and mean people. Don’t open the thread if you have nothing nice to say.
Excuse me what? I do have nice things to say about having kids. I think its probably the best thing you can do in life. I don't agree with your statement about adopting or not having kids. That doesn't make me "not nice" you imbecile.