Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married at 39, healthy kids at 41 and 43, no IVF, deliriously happy 18 years later. All those guys I dated in my 20s and 30s? Practice. It’s not too late OP and we will all expand our social cohorts by August, my prediction.

We're you worried your time has passed? No egg freezing?

Egg freezing in your 30’s is idiotic.

The odds that you get something viable is super low. It’s a pipe dream that fertility clinics sell to make money. (Note that is not to say that you couldn’t get pregnant naturally your 30’s - it’s just that the quality of eggs you’d get from egg freezing would likely lead to zero viable embryos. The 2 things are very different.)

According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM), an optimal time to freeze your eggs is in your 20s and early 30s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married at 39, healthy kids at 41 and 43, no IVF, deliriously happy 18 years later. All those guys I dated in my 20s and 30s? Practice. It’s not too late OP and we will all expand our social cohorts by August, my prediction.

We're you worried your time has passed? No egg freezing?

Egg freezing in your 30’s is idiotic.

The odds that you get something viable is super low. It’s a pipe dream that fertility clinics sell to make money. (Note that is not to say that you couldn’t get pregnant naturally your 30’s - it’s just that the quality of eggs you’d get from egg freezing would likely lead to zero viable embryos. The 2 things are very different.)

Anonymous wrote:I think a traditional “courtship” without physical touching is one way people around the world fall in love. There’s no reason your relationship with this guy is over, OP, unless you want it to be over.

And now is a good time to figure out if you have been sabotaging your relationships.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married at 39, healthy kids at 41 and 43, no IVF, deliriously happy 18 years later. All those guys I dated in my 20s and 30s? Practice. It’s not too late OP and we will all expand our social cohorts by August, my prediction.

We're you worried your time has passed? No egg freezing?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman in my 30s.

Attractive, slender, gainfully employed, have my own hobbies and interests, but repeatedly strike out when it comes to relationships. It usually either fizzles out. Sometimes I'm the one who wants something serious and the man wants something casual. Sometimes the man wants something serious and I'm just not feeling it. Sometimes things go well and then the guy gets a job on the other side of the country. Whatever the reason, I haven't found the right person.

Except I did meet someone who I started to date and it looked promising. We met in February. And uh...now you know the end of the story. Social distancing killed it. Sure, we text back and forth and have video chatted a few times, but it's really hard to grow a relationship when you can't be physically together.

Anyway, what worries me is the idea that "social distancing" could go on indefinitely. As in, for a year and a half until we develop and distribute a vaccine, and then who knows what. It would be one thing if this were sure to be over by June, or hell, even August... but to need to stay six feet away from people you don't already live with... for the foreseeable future... looks pretty grim for an unmarried woman over 30.

Will the pandemic outlast my fertility window? And no, I'm not focused on nailing down this particular person that I started dating and intent on him wifing me up. As I said, it's kind of over before it even started. I'm speaking more broadly here, do we need to take a PROLONGED time out on dating/mating/courtship, potentially taking me til age 35?

You seem mildly entitled, maybe a little self-absorbed? Just because you're pretty, skinny, with a good job and your own hobbies doesn't mean you're a good person or fun company. If those are the things you lead with when questioning why you aren't in a relationship, you might think men are more superficial than they are and it could be off-putting.

Love in the time of corona is definitely a thing. People are locking eyes over N95s and living on Facetime with those they met in a social media DM. If your guy isn't texting and calling like crazy trying to get to know you, he's just not that into you. Couples have been meeting online and waiting months/years to meet and marry, maybe try a dating app?

Don't be so doom and gloom. There's a lid for every jar!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to look at why things don’t work out. You have every excuse that’s external. What are you working on re yourself? How old exactly are you now?

I'm being completely intellectually honest with myself when I say it's been bad luck or situational and that it's been a numbers game. I've had men interested in me. I've been interested in men. When it's mutual, there's some factor like transience or other external circumstances. I don't discriminate based on race, age (within reason), income, profession, height, or weight. Compatibility and mutual feelings and kindness are what matter to me. Friends just tell me it's a numbers game. I'd say 2/3 times someone I meet just isn't sure where they're at in life and whether they're in a position to pursue a LTR. Not to say I haven't made my own mistakes; it's taken me years to gauge when it's too soon to give my heart away versus when I'm not giving someone enough of a chance.

Now I feel like I have to start all over again.

If I have to wait until the vaccine is out to date people again, I will be almost 34.

What are your mistakes?

In my 20s... giving too much benefit of the doubt when guys were clearly just interested in sex, thinking that they'll change their minds and want a relationship and that I'd live happily-ever-after, because that's what everyone does, right? /s Basically wasting time hoping the wrong people would come around.

In my 30s... doing the opposite. Being almost cold at times, being too guarded, not wanting to take risks.

My main thing is that I just don't do hookups. I don't want to have sex with someone if we're only sort of dating. I know myself too well; if I have sex with someone, I get all the oxytocin and want to be with the person. I cannot detach myself from sex. It's something I've learned over the years and I can't change it (nor should I?) So I've probably sent some cold, standoffish or disinterested signals to potential partners when they seem to want to take me back to their apartment on the third date.

Well, it looks like there's no risk in that these days, at least!

Anyways, I feel like only this past year I've just come around and found a happy medium in dating. I've gotten a better feel for red flags versus good intentions and good compatibility. It's taken me til age 32 to really figure this out, and alas...

Anonymous wrote:
You can't force yourself to have feelings for someone?

Anonymous wrote:Married at 39, healthy kids at 41 and 43, no IVF, deliriously happy 18 years later. All those guys I dated in my 20s and 30s? Practice. It’s not too late OP and we will all expand our social cohorts by August, my prediction.