Anonymous
04/04/2020 14:33
Subject: EX-DH spanked our 6y old
Why aren't children obeying their parents?
Anonymous
04/04/2020 14:30
Subject: Re:EX-DH spanked our 6y old
Anonymous wrote:Spanking a child is never okay. If you were living in Sweden, your husband would have been arrested.
Sweden unlike the rest of Europe (and most of the world) refuses to do a lockdown for coronavirus. So you know, countries are different.
Anonymous
04/04/2020 14:09
Subject: EX-DH spanked our 6y old
Self endangerment = spanking. No problem with that. Parent says STOP you stop. Next time I bet she stops.
Anonymous
04/04/2020 14:06
Subject: EX-DH spanked our 6y old
Anonymous wrote:OP here,
No she just not have delays, she’s a great kid most of the time, but she does however like to be in control. I’m sure this was her trying to control the situation (how far she went, when she came back) She has always been this way.
if this is her at 6, you are in deep trouble when she is 16!
Anonymous
04/04/2020 14:05
Subject: Re:EX-DH spanked our 6y old
Anonymous wrote:We don’t spank either, but what your dd did was dangerous and required a response that would convey the gravity of the situation and the requirement that she obey her father. This is not something I would hold against him unless he spanked her hard enough to cause bruising or injury. As long as she is physically okay, do not undermine your ex by indicating that he is the one who made the bigger mistake in this situation.
This is exactly the type of situation where spanking is warranted. Hopefully for your DD, her father’s reaction will underscore that bike rules and safety ate meant to be taken seriously.
And hopefully you’re not regularly undermining your ex.
Anonymous
04/04/2020 14:02
Subject: EX-DH spanked our 6y old
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Long story short, I think ExDH is struggling with the kids ages 6 and 8 on his weekends, since normally they are packed full of soccer practices, play dates, he takes them a lot of places on the weekend too. I think it’s easiest for him when he keeps our kids buys.
Apparently yesterday the kids were riding bikes in front of his house. They were told to stay within sight. DD ride too far where my EX could barely see her and he yelled for her to come back and she ignored and kept going. He had to chase after her and she thought it was funny making him run after her. He didn’t feel like she was taking what she had just done seriously, so as he walked her back inside very upset he spanked her. My DD told me her version of this phone, and then my ex told me his version. I’m very upset because this is already a traumatic time, he doesn’t need to be adding to the trauma. We do not spank and this certainly in my opinion did not warrant that strong of reaction. I would have just taken the bike for a couple of days and talked about safety. I’m worried this is going to become a pattern since your youngest DD can be quite a challenge. What can I do?
Daughter could have been killed. What husband did was appropriate. Let things go and move on with your life.
Understand DH was not adding to the trauma. Child was playing DH and not responding to DH's command. Failure to respond to DH's commands could have gotten her killed.
Team DH all the way here. You need to support him on this. PS. Talking to a child about safety is kind of meaningless after an event like this.
Anonymous
04/04/2020 14:01
Subject: EX-DH spanked our 6y old
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:team ex dh
+1
She won’t do it again. Sometimes, a quick swat accomplishes what talking for weeks, months or years won’t. For something like this, too bad. You need to back him on this, but I know you won’t.
Also, many people are struggling. And your DD is a little sh!t because she is allowed to be. Sounds like he is dealing with that, too. I have a son who is “something else” but I draw the line at safety.
Again, you need to back him on this. Please understand your daughter could have been killed and ex DH was the adult in the situation.
Her Father, not just ex DH. The child’s father parented the child.
Anonymous
04/04/2020 13:59
Subject: EX-DH spanked our 6y old
Anonymous wrote:Your reaction is what I find the bad part of this all. 6- year olds should understand:"Stop!". It's not like he does it often.
This. Talking about safety is kind of meaningless in dangerous situations.
Anonymous
04/04/2020 13:57
Subject: EX-DH spanked our 6y old
Anonymous wrote:It was warranted. If she is a known challenging child then this may help her get how serious her defiant and dangerous actions were.
Plus 1. Back DH on this.
Anonymous
04/04/2020 13:57
Subject: EX-DH spanked our 6y old
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:team ex dh
+1
She won’t do it again. Sometimes, a quick swat accomplishes what talking for weeks, months or years won’t. For something like this, too bad. You need to back him on this, but I know you won’t.
Also, many people are struggling. And your DD is a little sh!t because she is allowed to be. Sounds like he is dealing with that, too. I have a son who is “something else” but I draw the line at safety.
Again, you need to back him on this. Please understand your daughter could have been killed and ex DH was the adult in the situation.
Anonymous
04/04/2020 13:56
Subject: EX-DH spanked our 6y old
Anonymous wrote:See, as kids we would have never kept riding our bikes when a parent sad stop. We knew there would be serious consequences. You can do all the talking and safety lessons you want, kids are illogical and I’m not saying kids should fear their parents but a little fear in situations like this is warranted.
THis. 100% this.
Anonymous
04/04/2020 13:54
Subject: EX-DH spanked our 6y old
Anonymous wrote:Long story short, I think ExDH is struggling with the kids ages 6 and 8 on his weekends, since normally they are packed full of soccer practices, play dates, he takes them a lot of places on the weekend too. I think it’s easiest for him when he keeps our kids buys.
Apparently yesterday the kids were riding bikes in front of his house. They were told to stay within sight. DD ride too far where my EX could barely see her and he yelled for her to come back and she ignored and kept going. He had to chase after her and she thought it was funny making him run after her. He didn’t feel like she was taking what she had just done seriously, so as he walked her back inside very upset he spanked her. My DD told me her version of this phone, and then my ex told me his version. I’m very upset because this is already a traumatic time, he doesn’t need to be adding to the trauma. We do not spank and this certainly in my opinion did not warrant that strong of reaction. I would have just taken the bike for a couple of days and talked about safety. I’m worried this is going to become a pattern since your youngest DD can be quite a challenge. What can I do?
Daughter could have been killed. What husband did was appropriate. Let things go and move on with your life.
Anonymous
04/04/2020 13:52
Subject: EX-DH spanked our 6y old
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Hitting a child is never ever ok.
Not even spanking!
If he didn't like her behavior he could have handled this differently and if he touches her at all again you need to call the police.
It doesn't matter how "soft or light handed" it's still hitting and touching another person. Horrible parenting.
Regardless whether it’s right or wrong, the police aren’t going to do anything about a swat on the butt given by the child’s father.
And your point is? Of course the police will take a police report. And call CPS. While I understand they won't do much maybe just maybe he will think twice next time.
If he even swatted my child a base ball bat would be hitting his hands. And yes, I might go to jail. He has zero business hitting a child even if it's just a "swat" my guess is in this case it was not.
A swat isn't okay but hitting someone with a baseball bat is? You sound somewhat deranged. A swat would do no damage or harm to your child. Finding out their mother attacked their father with a baseball bat would be traumatic for your child. Your approch seems to be to cause as much harm to your child as possible.
Anonymous
04/04/2020 13:48
Subject: EX-DH spanked our 6y old
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Hitting a child is never ever ok.
Not even spanking!
If he didn't like her behavior he could have handled this differently and if he touches her at all again you need to call the police.
It doesn't matter how "soft or light handed" it's still hitting and touching another person. Horrible parenting.
Regardless whether it’s right or wrong, the police aren’t going to do anything about a swat on the butt given by the child’s father.
And your point is? Of course the police will take a police report. And call CPS. While I understand they won't do much maybe just maybe he will think twice next time.
If he even swatted my child a base ball bat would be hitting his hands. And yes, I might go to jail. He has zero business hitting a child even if it's just a "swat" my guess is in this case it was not.
Anonymous
04/04/2020 13:44
Subject: EX-DH spanked our 6y old
Anonymous wrote:Hitting a child is never ever ok.
Not even spanking!
If he didn't like her behavior he could have handled this differently and if he touches her at all again you need to call the police.
It doesn't matter how "soft or light handed" it's still hitting and touching another person. Horrible parenting.
Regardless whether it’s right or wrong, the police aren’t going to do anything about a swat on the butt given by the child’s father.