Anonymous
Post 03/20/2020 20:32     Subject: s/o Acceptable to say you're miserable at home with kids, but not that you're enjoying it?
Anonymous wrote:The posts that people have made where they show gratitude and happiness for being able to be home and enjoy their children, are met with scorn and accused of being tone deaf and cold, but posts where people are saying how hard it is for them to be home, there's an outpouring of sympathy. Why?


Because misery loves company and has plenty of it. If you are the kind of person who complains, then this situation is no different. If you're the kind of person who knows how to make the best of a situation, then this is also no different.

Personally I don't give a crap what posters on DCUM think of my feelings. I'm not unhappy. The last time we got to do this my kids were really small, and it was during Snowmaggedon and it's cousin, "Second Once In A Lifetime Snowstorm Of A Lifetime." Liked that, too.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2020 20:23     Subject: Re:s/o Acceptable to say you're miserable at home with kids, but not that you're enjoying it?
Anonymous wrote:I think it is how it is stated quite honestly. I think it is important to look for the silver linings and things that can make a hard experience more enjoyable. But when people are posting "this is great, I get to spend time with my kids" and not acknowledging that for some families that means that they are losing their jobs and other people are getting really sick it feels tone deaf.

As for the people posting that it is hard, well many folks understand that. Our son is not homeschooled for a couple of reasons.

1) Neither my husband or I have the patience to teach everything to our son. We actually have the academic background to cover all the major fields but I am a lousy teacher and my Husband has no interest in teaching. we love supplementing. We read to DS, we take him to educational locations, we watch science based shows and discuss the concepts. We are all over that. But knowing how to explain concepts that DS is struggling with and has to learn is outside our comfort zone.

2) We both work full time jobs and feel like we need to work those jobs to save appropriately for retirement, college, and the possibility of one of us not working at all.

3) We appreciate the socialization that comes from school and the exposure to areas we would really struggle with teaching, like Art and Music.

This is a hard time for a lot of parents because many are taking the educational element seriously and are clueless on homeschooling and how to help out kids learn. And we are trying to work from home while homeschooling. And there are no socialization opertunities for our kids so they need more attention from us which is hard to do because we are working and teaching.

I appreciate that there are folks who are enjoying the change of pace and feel comfortable with it. I just think that the people who have posted have done so in a way that ignores the gravity of the situation. I don't post in those threads because there is no real reason for me to rain on anyones parade. I am sure that those folks are not trying to be insensitive but the way many of them are phrased can be off putting.


This x1000
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2020 20:16     Subject: Re:s/o Acceptable to say you're miserable at home with kids, but not that you're enjoying it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because it’s a horrible situation where people are dying, losing their livelihoods and scared. I love being home with my son but I hate the circumstances that caused it and I’m afraid of the future.


So no one is allowed to find any sort of joy right now?



You can always find joy but keep in mind the suffering of others and the tragic cause for your being home.


And maybe you can stop making assumptions. My grandma and my mom are being tested today for COVID-19 because they were potentially exposed. So, yes -- I know the suffering, thank you very much.

I can also find joy.


Oh look at these brags about access to tests! Rub it in our faces, whydoncha?
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2020 20:12     Subject: s/o Acceptable to say you're miserable at home with kids, but not that you're enjoying it?
Anonymous wrote:The only people who are enjoying being home with their kids are teachers and other people who aren't working and are being paid. The rest of us are working hard while also juggling daycare aged kids.

I am SO sick of teachers right now bragging about being paid. "If you are stressed right now, maybe you should appreciate teachers more." Ugh. What they don't get is that we're basically doing two jobs (shittily).


I am a high school teacher and I am being paid...because I am still teaching. Many of us are. I had two days to move all five of my classes online and begin “remote learning.” I am not complaining, I am grateful to be paid during this time. But I am working, and it has been stressful, and I also have small kids at home.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2020 13:01     Subject: s/o Acceptable to say you're miserable at home with kids, but not that you're enjoying it?
I am a SAHM with relatively easy kids. I love them and am with them by choice most of the time anyway.

My stress comes from concern over our financial future, the economy, what comes next, bigger picture stuff. Oh and I miss restaurants and travel.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2020 07:20     Subject: s/o Acceptable to say you're miserable at home with kids, but not that you're enjoying it?
Anonymous wrote:A lot of us struggle. If you're blessed with an easy child, it feels like you are rubbing things in.


Hugs. My child is NOT easy, he's the opposite of easy, I'm still looking forward to a week of not having anywhere to be so that we can try to reconnect.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2020 07:18     Subject: s/o Acceptable to say you're miserable at home with kids, but not that you're enjoying it?
I'll be home with my kid next week, and I'm looking forward to it. I was nervous initially, but I have a little bit of a plan, my SO isn't working, and we'll have time to spend TOGETHER and not be rushing all over the place. I'm sure there will be some frustrating moments, but mostly I'm looking forward to a little staycation with the people I love most. We won't be out and about, we won't be able to go anywhere, so there won't be any pressure.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2020 07:15     Subject: s/o Acceptable to say you're miserable at home with kids, but not that you're enjoying it?
No one..,,
Let me repeat no one is going to come out of this unscathed.

It will negatively impact everyone in one form or the other.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2020 12:50     Subject: Re:s/o Acceptable to say you're miserable at home with kids, but not that you're enjoying it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because it’s a horrible situation where people are dying, losing their livelihoods and scared. I love being home with my son but I hate the circumstances that caused it and I’m afraid of the future.


So no one is allowed to find any sort of joy right now?


There is no joy.


There is always joy. People get married and have babies during wartime.

But I think there is a difference between joy and the obnoxious #coronavirus #soblessed #homewithmybabies posts. That's not joy, that's just straight-up tacky bragging.


Versus the straight up #gobacktoschool #homewithkidskillme nonsense? I'd much rather see the people saying they're happy at home with kids then how awful it is for them to have their kids at home. And wtf with the "there is no joy"nonsense. Jesus do you people realize how lucky some of us are? Thing are hard in the world right now, but we're at home with our kids in front of a laptop. I'm sorry, but saying I feel true gratitude to be able to to do that should not be more offensive than complaining about how hard it is sit at home with kids.


You can post whatever you want. Nobody is stopping you. Wanting everyone to react exactly the same way to how you post online is unreasonable. Over-dramatic complaining is also obnoxious. Nobody needs this much validation to get through their days either way.

This should not be hard. People in the world are dealing with really hard, stressful, awful things right now. Hearing that some people don't universally praise all types of posts should not be considered among those difficult things.

Anonymous
Post 03/19/2020 11:33     Subject: s/o Acceptable to say you're miserable at home with kids, but not that you're enjoying it?
A lot of us struggle. If you're blessed with an easy child, it feels like you are rubbing things in.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2020 11:33     Subject: Re:s/o Acceptable to say you're miserable at home with kids, but not that you're enjoying it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because it’s a horrible situation where people are dying, losing their livelihoods and scared. I love being home with my son but I hate the circumstances that caused it and I’m afraid of the future.


So no one is allowed to find any sort of joy right now?


There is no joy.


There is always joy. People get married and have babies during wartime.

But I think there is a difference between joy and the obnoxious #coronavirus #soblessed #homewithmybabies posts. That's not joy, that's just straight-up tacky bragging.


Versus the straight up #gobacktoschool #homewithkidskillme nonsense? I'd much rather see the people saying they're happy at home with kids then how awful it is for them to have their kids at home. And wtf with the "there is no joy"nonsense. Jesus do you people realize how lucky some of us are? Thing are hard in the world right now, but we're at home with our kids in front of a laptop. I'm sorry, but saying I feel true gratitude to be able to to do that should not be more offensive than complaining about how hard it is sit at home with kids.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2020 11:27     Subject: Re:s/o Acceptable to say you're miserable at home with kids, but not that you're enjoying it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because it’s a horrible situation where people are dying, losing their livelihoods and scared. I love being home with my son but I hate the circumstances that caused it and I’m afraid of the future.


So no one is allowed to find any sort of joy right now?


There is no joy.


There is always joy. People get married and have babies during wartime.

But I think there is a difference between joy and the obnoxious #coronavirus #soblessed #homewithmybabies posts. That's not joy, that's just straight-up tacky bragging.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2020 05:52     Subject: Re:s/o Acceptable to say you're miserable at home with kids, but not that you're enjoying it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because it’s a horrible situation where people are dying, losing their livelihoods and scared. I love being home with my son but I hate the circumstances that caused it and I’m afraid of the future.


So no one is allowed to find any sort of joy right now?


There is no joy.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2020 20:42     Subject: Re:s/o Acceptable to say you're miserable at home with kids, but not that you're enjoying it?
Anonymous wrote:I'm someone in a challenging situation with this virus. I won't go into details, but this virus is doing terrible things to our family.

Posts about the fun things friends are doing with their kids give me ideas on how to make our situation better, and cheer me up.

Posts that say "I'm so happy this is happening because I get to stay home" or "I think when this is done we'll all be better people. Isn't it wonderful?" I find tone deaf.

Similarly, saying "My 2 year old is driving me nuts, suggestions?" is fine. Saying "The worst thing ever is when . . . " and posting something that is a million years from the worst thing ever is tone deaf.


I'm in the same situation (I'm sorry, PP), and I agree with this summation.

Did any of you see the thread about influencers on DCUM a week or so ago? There was this crazy Texas mom who looked like Walmart's cheap decorations department had vomited all over her house. She has a full-size Easter tree. I feel like some of the "joy!" and "blessings!" posters are that lady, and I have this vision of them happily rummaging through their Valentine's Day decorations for things they can reuse for COVID-19 vision boards and Pinterest posts. I think they don't realize how they come across.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2020 19:56     Subject: s/o Acceptable to say you're miserable at home with kids, but not that you're enjoying it?
I love my child but I need a break. I can’t be super mom and super employee and super wife/housekeeper/child to elderly parents at the same moment.

So I love my family but 8 weeks of this is not going to be fun.