Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guy, I’m shocked by some of the answers. Wtf are y’all talking about with him using her? If he we’re using her, he’d have sex, want her to leave, and call her when he’s ready to bang again. He wants her to spend the night and take her to brunch in the morning. Some guys can’t win. You calling him a loser, would come from the same people if she had posted that she goes over, has sex and then she’s not allowed to spend the night. Get real

Here’s what you’re missing:

After she sleeps over and they have playful morning sex and share mimosas over brunch, he wants to be free to take another woman out to dinner and do the same with her. THAT is why people are saying he’s using her. She’s a girlfriend placeholder until he meets someone he considers worthy of dating.

He has made it clear he does not want HER as his girlfriend. She has made it clear she wants HIM to be her boyfriend. The only solution is to end it. Anything else will lead to hurt feelings and compromising yourself.

I disagree. I think if they have playful morning sex and go to brunch he may fall in love with her and go to a cookout at a relatives or take him to meet his mom. Really.

He may take HER to meet his mom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guy, I’m shocked by some of the answers. Wtf are y’all talking about with him using her? If he we’re using her, he’d have sex, want her to leave, and call her when he’s ready to bang again. He wants her to spend the night and take her to brunch in the morning. Some guys can’t win. You calling him a loser, would come from the same people if she had posted that she goes over, has sex and then she’s not allowed to spend the night. Get real

Here’s what you’re missing:

After she sleeps over and they have playful morning sex and share mimosas over brunch, he wants to be free to take another woman out to dinner and do the same with her. THAT is why people are saying he’s using her. She’s a girlfriend placeholder until he meets someone he considers worthy of dating.

He has made it clear he does not want HER as his girlfriend. She has made it clear she wants HIM to be her boyfriend. The only solution is to end it. Anything else will lead to hurt feelings and compromising yourself.

I disagree. I think if they have playful morning sex and go to brunch he may fall in love with her and go to a cookout at a relatives or take him to meet his mom. Really.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised by these so called " feminists" on this board. So because OP is a woman she can't just want sex? She has to have a solid commitment or marriage before having sex and becoming emotionally invested? This is not 1950's for all you older people. This is not how today works. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING wrong with OP wanting and enjoying sex. It's like saying it expected from a man, but how dare OP just enjoy casual sex with this guy. I don't think OP should get invested in a guy who doesn't want to make a commitment, but don't demonize her or act like she is some kind of sl*t because she enjoys having sex. Good for her for getting her sexual needs met!

OP annoys me because she thinks she's the only woman who enjoys and needs sex, therefore is "like a guy".

OP here. That's not it at all. I was simply stating why I was still sleeping with him. I know many women love sex!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guy, I’m shocked by some of the answers. Wtf are y’all talking about with him using her? If he we’re using her, he’d have sex, want her to leave, and call her when he’s ready to bang again. He wants her to spend the night and take her to brunch in the morning. Some guys can’t win. You calling him a loser, would come from the same people if she had posted that she goes over, has sex and then she’s not allowed to spend the night. Get real

Here’s what you’re missing:

After she sleeps over and they have playful morning sex and share mimosas over brunch, he wants to be free to take another woman out to dinner and do the same with her. THAT is why people are saying he’s using her. She’s a girlfriend placeholder until he meets someone he considers worthy of dating.

He has made it clear he does not want HER as his girlfriend. She has made it clear she wants HIM to be her boyfriend. The only solution is to end it. Anything else will lead to hurt feelings and compromising yourself.

Im the pp, you’re responding too, and I didn’t see it from that perspective. You made a very valid point.

Anonymous wrote:As a guy, I’m shocked by some of the answers. Wtf are y’all talking about with him using her? If he we’re using her, he’d have sex, want her to leave, and call her when he’s ready to bang again. He wants her to spend the night and take her to brunch in the morning. Some guys can’t win. You calling him a loser, would come from the same people if she had posted that she goes over, has sex and then she’s not allowed to spend the night. Get real

Here’s what you’re missing:

After she sleeps over and they have playful morning sex and share mimosas over brunch, he wants to be free to take another woman out to dinner and do the same with her. THAT is why people are saying he’s using her. She’s a girlfriend placeholder until he meets someone he considers worthy of dating.

He has made it clear he does not want HER as his girlfriend. She has made it clear she wants HIM to be her boyfriend. The only solution is to end it. Anything else will lead to hurt feelings and compromising yourself.

You get to make your own rules, and stick to them. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks and it sounds like you've been clear to him and he understands, even if he doesn't like it.

As for me, I've slept (as in spent the night in bed asleep) with ONSs, APs, women I just met. Never mattered to me. But I'm not you.

As a guy, I’m shocked by some of the answers. Wtf are y’all talking about with him using her? If he we’re using her, he’d have sex, want her to leave, and call her when he’s ready to bang again. He wants her to spend the night and take her to brunch in the morning. Some guys can’t win. You calling him a loser, would come from the same people if she had posted that she goes over, has sex and then she’s not allowed to spend the night. Get real

Anonymous wrote:You'll share your body which is as intimate as you can get, but won't share his bed? Wow.

This. So weird.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I told him I could no longer do this anymore with the way things were going.

What was his reaction?

OP here. I told him I could no longer do this anymore with the way things were going.

PP- and also, in the future, don’t sleep with men you aren’t exclusively dating if you don’t want to be an option.

You’re anxious to be called his girlfriend because you’ve been sleeping with him. He’s not calling the relationship that exclusive yet. So you are using this random piece of the relationship (sleeping over) as the carrot to move him to exclusivity. Too bad it won’t work, men don’t care that much about you staying over if you‘re putting out anyway. If you really want to be his girlfriend, back up on the sex. Tell him since you aren’t going exclusive it would be better to return to just dating (perhaps other men too) and of course be safe and hold of having sex so as not to risk your health.

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised by these so called " feminists" on this board. So because OP is a woman she can't just want sex? She has to have a solid commitment or marriage before having sex and becoming emotionally invested? This is not 1950's for all you older people. This is not how today works. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING wrong with OP wanting and enjoying sex. It's like saying it expected from a man, but how dare OP just enjoy casual sex with this guy. I don't think OP should get invested in a guy who doesn't want to make a commitment, but don't demonize her or act like she is some kind of sl*t because she enjoys having sex. Good for her for getting her sexual needs met!

OP annoys me because she thinks she's the only woman who enjoys and needs sex, therefore is "like a guy".

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised by these so called " feminists" on this board. So because OP is a woman she can't just want sex? She has to have a solid commitment or marriage before having sex and becoming emotionally invested? This is not 1950's for all you older people. This is not how today works. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING wrong with OP wanting and enjoying sex. It's like saying it expected from a man, but how dare OP just enjoy casual sex with this guy. I don't think OP should get invested in a guy who doesn't want to make a commitment, but don't demonize her or act like she is some kind of sl*t because she enjoys having sex. Good for her for getting her sexual needs met!

Another misguided person.

OP's on record with wanting to be his girlfriend in exchange for the right level of commitment so let's just be done with the silly talk of "i'm just in it for the sex!" She likes him enough for a boyfriend if he asked. No one starts DCUM threads about being in it for the sex. So she obviously does want something from him in addition to the sex.

Today works exactly the same way. No one is demonizing her. She is being told, correctly, that if she wants the girlfriend status, the better way is to avoid sex, not the sleeping over part.

"I'm just in it for the sex!" is a common defense mechanism for girls to whom nothing but sex is being offered.

I'm surprised by these so called " feminists" on this board. So because OP is a woman she can't just want sex? She has to have a solid commitment or marriage before having sex and becoming emotionally invested? This is not 1950's for all you older people. This is not how today works. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING wrong with OP wanting and enjoying sex. It's like saying it expected from a man, but how dare OP just enjoy casual sex with this guy. I don't think OP should get invested in a guy who doesn't want to make a commitment, but don't demonize her or act like she is some kind of sl*t because she enjoys having sex. Good for her for getting her sexual needs met!