Im the PP with the dad who was keeping vigil by my moms bedside until the nursing home restricted all visitors. I spoke with the activities director at the nursing home today. They are going to do whatever they have to do that my dad can skype or FaceTime my mom. Dad doesn’t have a smart phone, so it will involve someone with a smartphone on both ends to set it up- but at least he will be able to see her after all this time. It will be a comfort to him and I am so grateful they are going to work it out for him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is SO SMART! I hope it is implemented.
Skype!

Is that a joke?? My grandma doesn’t have WiFi nor a cell phone

I would bet you have days to fix that. It’s coming and faster than people expect. The population is vulnerable. Upcoming restrictions are visitors only if the resident is dying and then only two visitors (one at a time) who are screened and visiting hours will just be a few hours a day. Violations to be enforced by the police. It’s serious. If this matters to you, get grandma a phone and internet access or a data plan.

My dad has dementia with agitated paranoid - he can’t use a phone but needs family to calm his panic. He is going to suffer so deeply it is really hard to contemplate. I hope they will sedate him so he doesn’t know what is happening, but I doubt they will be allowed to.

Can't you request it?

NP but I think I responded to a way earlier, unrelated comment on this thread. Depending on if the home is licensed for restraints, they may not be able to use sedatives like that. My facility is non-restraint, so we are not allowed to sedate anyone for behaviors or at family request.

Anonymous wrote:I would visit my Mom everyday in her nursing home to help give her exercise and talk to her. (She had multiple strokes two years ago.) Now I am not allowed to visit her. She is still aware of her surroundings and certainly recognizes me but would not be able to use a phone and certainly not a computer.

I wish there were something I could do (maybe get a test for covid-19, or have my temperature taken multiple times) to allow me to visit her.

You're not going to be able to visit her. But you can work with the recreation staff to do some facetime calls. Everyone in the nursing homes understands how hard this is for the residents and families. It's tough, but you want your mom to be alive on the other end of this crisis and that is what the nursing home is trying to make sure happens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is SO SMART! I hope it is implemented.
Skype!

Is that a joke?? My grandma doesn’t have WiFi nor a cell phone

I would bet you have days to fix that. It’s coming and faster than people expect. The population is vulnerable. Upcoming restrictions are visitors only if the resident is dying and then only two visitors (one at a time) who are screened and visiting hours will just be a few hours a day. Violations to be enforced by the police. It’s serious. If this matters to you, get grandma a phone and internet access or a data plan.

My dad has dementia with agitated paranoid - he can’t use a phone but needs family to calm his panic. He is going to suffer so deeply it is really hard to contemplate. I hope they will sedate him so he doesn’t know what is happening, but I doubt they will be allowed to.

Can't you request it?

As others have noted in my Dad’s tiered community, there are no visitors for any level as of Saturday. Then today, dining room services have ended with all meals being delivered. At 98 he is still very sharp and drives to local spots only in the day. It is going to be hard for those siblings in the area to convince him not to go out, but important as what he and others in independent living do might well be life threatening to many in the community.

We did not see it coming soon enough to get his porch furniture set up. And if one met him for a social distance walk, I am told by siblings he would not hear well at that distance and understandably dose get winded walking a distance. With no active sports to follow on tv, it is going to be really hard.
As while his sight fir driving is checked by eye doctors, he can ‘t read small print oin newspapers. It is my hope we can find a magnifier to work, but first UPS seems to have to find the location!

The idea of bringing him out for a time to someone’s home would not be easy as he would likely be no happier as they have lives and families of their own to consider protecting. He will get lots of calls and be in a setting with a nurse who could check/ help monitor symptoms. There is no easy answer, but I do feel the “suddenness” of the change is the hardest for all to deal with, and you sort of wish if one more day with staggered visits and protection might have been helpful. This is a real change for all of us.

Anonymous wrote:I would visit my Mom everyday in her nursing home to help give her exercise and talk to her. (She had multiple strokes two years ago.) Now I am not allowed to visit her. She is still aware of her surroundings and certainly recognizes me but would not be able to use a phone and certainly not a computer.

I wish there were something I could do (maybe get a test for covid-19, or have my temperature taken multiple times) to allow me to visit her.

Will the staff do FaceTime so you can see her?

My mama's nursing home has shut down to visitors also. My heart goes out to everyone here in the same situation.

Mama has dementia and is very frail. My sister's and I are used to visiting often.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are we keeping them alive for if it’s the misery of isolation? A 70 year old, I get it. An 85 and up? A miserable life alone. Would rather be with my elders at the end than keep them in misery.

Yeah my mom's doctor said she will only recognize us for six more months and now we can't see her for much of that time... And for what? So she can live longer in a confused and agitated state? I get that it would be horrible for her to infect caregivers or residents with better prognoses so I agree with the policy. but my mom herself would choose quality time with family and an increased risk of covid-19 of she was given a choice.

It’s impossible to say if she will recognize you or not. My mil became nonverbal but she clearly recognized me majority of the time. It’s not just about keeping her healthy but all the residents.

Anonymous wrote:I would visit my Mom everyday in her nursing home to help give her exercise and talk to her. (She had multiple strokes two years ago.) Now I am not allowed to visit her. She is still aware of her surroundings and certainly recognizes me but would not be able to use a phone and certainly not a computer.

I wish there were something I could do (maybe get a test for covid-19, or have my temperature taken multiple times) to allow me to visit her.

I'm sorry that you and your family (and PP whose dad sits vigil by his wife's bedside) are going through this. It is really tough. You have to understand that they are just trying to keep their residents alive. And, they are following the CDC guidelines. There really isn't anything you can do but wait it out. You can talk to the recreation staff about doing some assisted facetime.

I would visit my Mom everyday in her nursing home to help give her exercise and talk to her. (She had multiple strokes two years ago.) Now I am not allowed to visit her. She is still aware of her surroundings and certainly recognizes me but would not be able to use a phone and certainly not a computer.

I wish there were something I could do (maybe get a test for covid-19, or have my temperature taken multiple times) to allow me to visit her.

Anonymous wrote:What are we keeping them alive for if it’s the misery of isolation? A 70 year old, I get it. An 85 and up? A miserable life alone. Would rather be with my elders at the end than keep them in misery.

Yeah my mom's doctor said she will only recognize us for six more months and now we can't see her for much of that time... And for what? So she can live longer in a confused and agitated state? I get that it would be horrible for her to infect caregivers or residents with better prognoses so I agree with the policy. but my mom herself would choose quality time with family and an increased risk of covid-19 of she was given a choice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom in nurising home in FL. Dad in independent living in same complex. They just announced NO VISITORS at all, including family, unless the individual is in end of life care.
Dad is distraught. He has spent the last year sitting by her bedside, mostly in the dark with the TV off, keeping vigil, eating lunch and dinner with her every night. I’m not worried about her care- I’m worried that my dad is so upset he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

I am so sorry. I hope these restrictions will lift soon. My heart goes out to you and your parents.

+1 Oh, wow, I am so sorry for your dad. I totally get it. And you must be stressed knowing what he is going through. Hugs and prayers for you and your family.