Anonymous wrote:Op here. Totally alone. When on a beach vacation with his wife and 4 year old daughter.

This is divorce worthy. Kindly do not have another kid with this man. He is a creep.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's with this going alone issue. So it's only okay if a guy goes and looks at other naked women with other guys? Some kind of male bonding exercise? What if you guy was watching at porn with other guys.

I'm a man and I don't get it either.

I know. It’s a family vacation and I don’t get it either. Neither solo or group visit on this type of vacation sounds right.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's with this going alone issue. So it's only okay if a guy goes and looks at other naked women with other guys? Some kind of male bonding exercise? What if you guy was watching at porn with other guys.

Yes, because sin is divided by the number of attendees

I totally get the issue with going alone (agree to disagree; it has to do with the impetus for going, accountability, opportunity etc). But this made me LOL.

Anonymous wrote:What's with this going alone issue. So it's only okay if a guy goes and looks at other naked women with other guys? Some kind of male bonding exercise? What if you guy was watching at porn with other guys.

I'm a man and I don't get it either.

Anonymous wrote:What's with this going alone issue. So it's only okay if a guy goes and looks at other naked women with other guys? Some kind of male bonding exercise? What if you guy was watching at porn with other guys.

Yes, because sin is divided by the number of attendees

What's with this going alone issue. So it's only okay if a guy goes and looks at other naked women with other guys? Some kind of male bonding exercise? What if you guy was watching at porn with other guys.

Anonymous wrote:A 10 to me is having a long term affair. Not sure if this escalates beyond potentially rude if we didn't discuss it before. It seems many of these responses are related to negative views of strip clubs. I don't see much of a difference between a strip club and watching porn unless he's shelling out hundreds of dollars on them.

Are you kidding? I think even if I showed this to my DH he would be fully outraged. This is just not normal. There is something so sad about a dude who goes to a strip club alone...let alone while he is on a family vacation with his wife and kid! Hello, after the kid goes to bed, that’s your couple time. Why would you rather be at a strip club by yourself than hanging out with your wife? Your marriage is over, your husband is a gross douche. I mean come on, really?

A 10 to me is having a long term affair. Not sure if this escalates beyond potentially rude if we didn't discuss it before. It seems many of these responses are related to negative views of strip clubs. I don't see much of a difference between a strip club and watching porn unless he's shelling out hundreds of dollars on them.

Anonymous wrote:Setting aside your anger, the reason he is going to a strip club solo is because he is lonely. Men who go there solo are looking for company. It's a red flag for your marriage

When I’m lonely, I seek out friends, not strippers.

ok, since OP hasn't provided any more in the way of updates, let's set a couple different scenarios.
1) DH goes out to buy groceries, beer, whatever in the late afternoon. In the same shopping center is a bar that advertises, "Hot girls, cold beer!" He stops in, has a beer, takes in the scenery, goes back to wife and kid, has dinner, etc.
2) He makes up some story after dinner about where he's going, leaves DW and DC at home, gets to the strip joint, blows lots of $, comes home with glitter, trampy perfume, and lipstick all over him, starts groping DW when he slides into bed.
I say #1 is ok, #2 is not.
Only OP can tell us which it is, so that we can judge.

10 for sure. It isn't the strip club that's the issue, it's the compulsion. I'd feel the same way if my DH got falling down drunk on a family vacation. If you can't "turn it off" for five days, you have a problem.

Anonymous wrote:Do you regularly provide him with sexual relief? My wife doesn't like having sex on family vacations because it's difficult to have privacy when staying in a hotel room with the kids. All it takes is 5 - 10 minutes in the shower. The tension just builds up too much so family vacations tend to get a bit stressful.

“Family vacations tend to get a bit stressful?” So you can’t enjoy vacation time with your wife and children unless you are provided with “sexual relief?” What are you, 18? Are you ruled by your dick?

OP, it is not normal behavior for a husband and father to leave his wife and children on a family vacation so he can go to a strip club alone. This is trashy Jerry Springer trailer park behavior by a man who is controlled by his dick rather than his brain. This is a 15 on a scale of 10 and you should be very concerned. Men like this shouldn’t bother getting married and having kids because they have issues keeping their priorities in order.

Anonymous wrote:How did you find out? Did he know you'd be nuts about it. Doesn't seem that big of a deal to me. Maybe I'm just younger, but most of my girlfriends don't care if our men go to strip clubs.

Maybe you're just not a parent to a 4 year old that just spent a lot of time and money planning a family vacation. It has nothing to do with your obvious youth.

I've been on both sides of this, OP. I'm a former stripper that's now a parent to a couple of preschoolers with an inconsiderate DH. I'm at about a 5 on the scale. It's not about the strip club, I think we're all aware that they're mostly harmless and no one cares about that in context of a guys night out. Its about him feeling the need to go blow off some steam on family vacation. Right? The choice of venue is just makes it even a little less palatable, if I'm guessing.

I'll say this, my DH has improved his capacity to be compassionate to my needs and the emotional needs of our kids. He hasn't had an opportunity to do something like this recently, but if he did I think he'd pass on it. A couple of years ago he would have seized it. There's progress.

How does this even happen???

I’m just imagining you guys hanging out at the beach house after putting your daughter to bed and he says “Okay, I’m going to head out for a drive - see you in a couple hours!” I’m just having a hard time picturing how this even took place.

Also, why not have the argument about strip clubs BEFORE he goes instead of when he comes back? I can’t imagine being okay with this.

Setting aside your anger, the reason he is going to a strip club solo is because he is lonely. Men who go there solo are looking for company. It's a red flag for your marriage