I don’t think this is that unusual especially for a 4th child. I was my mother’s 4th child at 36.

My husband is 13 years older than me so at schools’ event I am usually the youngest mom and DH is one of the oldest dads (I had my first at 29 and DH 42)... people usually think that DH is younger than he really is and that I am older than I really am... I am usually embarrassed to say my age because the older moms usually say: “aww you are a baby”.... ahh no...

Then again my kids go to private schools and parents are usually older there. I bet parents might be closer to my age in public schools

I had my one & only at 39 and find that I'm the same age as a lot of her classmates' parents here in DC. For the ones that are significantly younger, it hasn't held us back from being friends - it was just more of a thing that we learned about each other after already becoming friends.

Good people are good people, and once you're not a kid anymore the age gap doesn't seem to make as much of a difference when you have other things in common. Just be you and don't use energy trying to guess what other people might be thinking because it really doesn't matter.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you having a fourth?

Now that's not really the topic of discussion is it, PP?

Anonymous wrote:Pfft. We adopted our son 3 years ago when I was just shy of 49 and my husband was 51. I’m old even in DC. No one gives a crap but you. I did PACE and I am the oldest in my group and the youngest mom was almost 17 years younger than me. Our whole group is tight but I’m closest to that mom. Age means nothing.

It will mean something when you are in your 60s and have a young teenager. Not that it's necessarily bad, but I promise you and your DS will notice it.

Anonymous wrote:I was 36 when my only was born. Luckily I live in Arlington where a lot of folks did the kid thing on the later side. I'm definitely the "old mom" in my peer group back home - a lot of my friends from high school have grown kids and some have grandchildren. (I'm 47.)

I sometimes forget that all over the world, people do have kids younger. I sometimes am baffled by the really young couples I see who look like they are barely out of high school but have 3 kids. But I don't wish I'd had my kid younger.

Well, they are probably baffled by you as well.

I can sort of relate to how you are feeling but in the opposite way. My husband and I are very young parents in Arlington and have received many questions and comments about our age from the most random people. I don’t even think twice when I see an older parent but it seems like everyone loses their mind when they see a young family around here. I have even been asked by a mom at a park if my father was a doctor or a lawyer when she learned my age and realized I also live in her neighborhood. Basically, she thought for sure that my husband and I must be receiving support from some other family member to be able to feed our children and live here. Haha overall, OP, I hope you can come to the best decision for your family without worrying about how other perceive your situation. Nobody will think you are a grandma @ 39! If it felt right, I would go for it!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the old mom, and I’m in DC! I gave birth to my first in my early 40s and my second (via frozen embryo) at 46. My grandmother had her last at 46 (unplanned, though) and said my aunt kept her youthful. I hope my kids do the same for me. So far, so good. I do try not to make pop culture references from my youth around their classmates’ parents, though.

Wow. My oldest of four was several years out of college and my youngest already in high school when I was 46! You're gonna miss out on a lot of things with your kids for waiting that long.

It sounds like you had your first at 20 or 21 for them to be several years out of college when you were 46. That is young to become a mother in the DC area.

Anonymous wrote:At most, you're making a decision between being the 40 year old mom with a 4 year old (I'm assuming that's your youngest) or a 40 year old mom with a newborn. There's not a lot of difference there. I wouldn't let that be the driver of your decision. If having another is what is right for you and your family, and medical issues are not a challenge, then I wouldn't let your peer group define what you do.

Growing up, I was the one with older parents (about 10 years older than my friends parents) and it never seemed to matter one bit. I didn't even notice it until I was probably in late high school or college.

I disagree that there is not much difference between being 40 with a 4 year old or 40 with a four year old AND a newborn because that's really the choice the person is making.

I had my only at 43. Not unusual in DC, and no matter how old you are, there will be older dads in your child's social circle.

The tradeoffs between being an older parent and a younger one are well known, and hopefully, everyone is making the choices that work best for them.

400 million people the US. Jesus Christ, we are on our way to being India or China.

At most, you're making a decision between being the 40 year old mom with a 4 year old (I'm assuming that's your youngest) or a 40 year old mom with a newborn. There's not a lot of difference there. I wouldn't let that be the driver of your decision. If having another is what is right for you and your family, and medical issues are not a challenge, then I wouldn't let your peer group define what you do.

Growing up, I was the one with older parents (about 10 years older than my friends parents) and it never seemed to matter one bit. I didn't even notice it until I was probably in late high school or college.

Why are you having a fourth?

I was 39 when I had my one and only. I do sometimes feel like the old mom and I live in Fairfax County. Went to a kid's birthday party over the summer at a local pool and several of the other moms were there drinking boxed wine and wearing bikinis. Let's just say my bikini days are behind me. Way behind.

At the end of the day, I may not have the same cultural references or recreational habits as some of the other moms, but I really don't care. Life is all about trade offs and this is one thing I decided not to worry about.

I was 36 when my only was born. Luckily I live in Arlington where a lot of folks did the kid thing on the later side. I'm definitely the "old mom" in my peer group back home - a lot of my friends from high school have grown kids and some have grandchildren. (I'm 47.)

I sometimes forget that all over the world, people do have kids younger. I sometimes am baffled by the really young couples I see who look like they are barely out of high school but have 3 kids. But I don't wish I'd had my kid younger.